Firecracker Diaries - A combination of stories, random thoughts and an appreciation log of life with Daddy

Consent - Agreeing to certain acts in a BDSM scene or relationship. 

This part has been very important to myself and Daddy. For myself coming into this lifestyle extremely green in a vanilla world and completely oblivious to this world...Daddy has been extremely good at explaining things and giving me things to research and come back to him to discuss. For anything new he wants to introduce to me...he discusses it with me first. Gives me all the do’s and don’t’s. Explains what I should expect and possibly feel. Then he lets me make the decision on whether I want to move forward, need more time or to stop. He gives me all the time I need to be comfortable. Gives me all the time to change my mind...and always reminds me to use my safe word.

I have learned the beauty of open communication. Daddy has also brought out the courage in me to be able to speak for myself in all things...that making sure I tell him everything in my heart and mind...even when it’s hard. That’s when he’s the proudest of me...

Thoughts?

Breath Play - A form of play when one participant controls their breath. This may include choking or holding the breath.

Daddy has given me a taste of this. Sometimes he choke me during our sessions...but I know he is only giving me “test” chokes to see how I handle it. A few times I have been on top and while I am riding he will choke me with one hand and slap me with the other... this is extremely erotic for me. Especially if all of these things coincide with an orgasm...it makes it to where it’s so intense you really think you might pass out! Lol

Thoughts?

Bottom - The person in a scene who follows the orders and receives the sensations.

Taken straight out of the “dictionary”! I am definitely a bottom.

When reading the Wikipedia definition-

The terms top, bottom, and switch are used to describe roles for the duration of a sometimes-sexual act, or may be used more broadly as a psychological, social, and sexual identity, as well as indicating one's usual preference. The terms top, bottom, and switch are also used in BDSM, with slightly different meanings. In both contexts, the terms top and bottom refer to dominant or submissive, or active and passive roles, not to who is physically on top in a particular sexual act. The older term "versatile" is sometimes used instead of "switch".

This article in Wikipedia is actually very interesting. It goes into the history and controversy over the term in some circles. It’s definitely worth the read.

Anyway...for me I’m proud to say I’m a bottom. Learning to be his submissive has some how released my soul and brought out my true self. The release of letting someone else be in control...to be the Top...to take over all of my fears and anxiety about life and love...to trust someone with something so precious as your heart, body and mind... and truly trust them...is such a beautiful thing. It’s changed my life...

How about you? Thoughts?

Bondage and Discipline - A type of BDSM practice that incorporates bondage (tying, binding, or restraining someone) and discipline (punishing a submissive partner when they break a rule).

For me...I’ve only been in 2 sessions with Daddy that included bondage. I have to say that I absolutely loved it! The second was much better than the first...this was mostly due to I was more relaxed and trusting the second time around. When you relax and enjoy the control he has over you and the pleasure he wants to bring...man oh man the orgasm is amazing!

Discipline is a love/hate. I hate disappointing Daddy and doing the things that cause the discipline...and some of the discipline is heart breaking to me because I so tender hearted when it comes to Daddy. Spankings...I don’t like getting the hits because I’m a baby...but some how they turn me on like crazy!

Thoughts?

Age Play - When one person takes on an older role and one person takes on a younger role, such as a father-daughter scenario.

Im not sure what to think about this one. I think the typical set up is a Daddy Daughter. I know I like to have Daddy be my Daddy...but I want to be his Girl...not his daughter. Lol... 

I look at how Daddy and I live our lives like it’s natural now...not like we are playing roles. Playing a role now would mean that we were boring vanillas....no fun.

Thoughts?

Aftercare - When a scene is over, aftercare is the emotional and physical care that’s administered, usually by a top. Proper aftercare may be used to prevent a drop.

For me this is a very real thing. I feel like I am the most vulnerable after an intense session and Daddy always knows what I need and keeps me close to him. But what I have learned through this journey is that understanding that when you have an attachment to someone as deeply as a sub and Master...understanding that your physical and physiological self will be affected when aftercare is not given. It doesn’t always have to be from a session. It could be from separation.

when you invest is something so deeply it takes more care to bring yourself back. 

Thoughts?

New Year

For this new year I’m going to be better about blogging! My struggle comes from having writers block a lot of the time and then getting stuck in a rut! But anyway...I’m going to start this year by taking a BDSM term and talking about it. Doing a little research for myself and then opening it up for discussion....

The first thing that popped up I for term is - Anal Training

Anal training: Inserting progressively long and/or girthy objects like butt plugs into an anus to stretch the sphincter for sexual activity. Author's note: Lube is your friend.

So my first real anal experience has been with Daddy. He has taught me how to prepare for a night that will involve anal activity. I have several butt plugs that came in a set. I can barely do the entry level one for and extended amount of time....the medium one can be tolerated after the small one has been in place a while...but I can’t take it for long. The large one is just out of the question...

I love the pleasure I get from anal sex...but I sure don’t like the work up to get to enjoy it. Even with prep it takes a while for me to be able to take him. I wish I could just be relaxed and it’s just easy from the start...because the orgasm is amazing!

With what I have experienced for myself I don’t know if I could handle wearing one for an extended amount of time....I start to feel irritated there after a while.

Watching the videos makes me feel super inadequate as these ladies that are in training enjoy every second....I just want to know how to make it easier and more pleasurable for Daddy and I both!

Thoughts?

Obsession can be fun and cute when your referring to your love for makeup or shoes...it’s not so cute when it’s unwanted.

I can easily say that I’m obsessed with Master...I want to be with him always. I want to serve his every need and be the prize on this arm. And as much as I love this life and everything we are together...if he ever were to betray me...I could turn it all off in a blind of an eye. Would I want to? No....but I would. Would I hurt and long to have our love again...YES...but betrayal is hard to recover from.

So with that said I have a hard time understanding people that are obsessed with something that they can never have. Especially for long periods of time. Why would you want to devote thoughts and energy to things that bring you down or don’t have a positive impact on your life?

Why would someone put time, energy, thoughts into to someone that doesn’t give a shit about them? I wouldn’t... I just don’t understand...and I hope I never do!!

Until tomorrow...

 
Daily routine ...

Each day there is a wind up...getting coffee...getting more coffee, etc. It’s how you get yourself going for the day ahead. For me it’s music turned up loud, shower, coffee and then a little news before I hit the door. I’m sure everyone has their own version of this...

As for my wind down....this usually comes after dinner. There is usually an hour to 2 hours between then and bedtime. This is when I write my blog and watch Daddy do his thing winding down. This is also the time I get to just watch him and marvel at his movements, his hands and enjoy how my mind appreciates every inch of him. I usually try and do something that’s on my todo list during that time...it could be productive or maybe it’s a nice bubble bath the extra bath bombs! I try to also reflect on my day and my life and make sure I find something to appreciate. Some days are harder than others to do these things...but I find if I do my “wind down time” then I have less days “ugh” days.

Take some time that’s just for you. Spend it how you want and let your brain rest of worries. Try to keep good thoughts flowing during this time...reset you brain and your emotions. Get to a place of relaxation and peace before you climb into bed and snuggle. Not only will it feel better, but your partner will feel it too...

Until tomorrow...

 
Daily routine ...

Each day there is a wind up...getting coffee...getting more coffee, etc. It’s how you get yourself going for the day ahead. For me it’s music turned up loud, shower, coffee and then a little news before I hit the door. I’m sure everyone has their own version of this...

As for my wind down....this usually comes after dinner. There is usually an hour to 2 hours between then and bedtime. This is when I write my blog and watch Daddy do his thing winding down. This is also the time I get to just watch him and marvel at his movements, his hands and enjoy how my mind appreciates every inch of him. I usually try and do something that’s on my todo list during that time...it could be productive or maybe it’s a nice bubble bath the extra bath bombs! I try to also reflect on my day and my life and make sure I find something to appreciate. Some days are harder than others to do these things...but I find if I do my “wind down time” then I have less days “ugh” days.

Take some time that’s just for you. Spend it how you want and let your brain rest of worries. Try to keep good thoughts flowing during this time...reset you brain and your emotions. Get to a place of relaxation and peace before you climb into bed and snuggle. Not only will it feel better, but your partner will feel it too...

Until tomorrow...