Firecracker Diaries - A combination of stories, random thoughts and an appreciation log of life with Daddy

Identity

Who gets to define your identity? You? Or are you being defined by others? Is your identity the subject of their view? Or is it yours?

I struggle with my identity changing year over year. Not that I’m aware of it....but people in my life take notice of how I have changed and either like it or not. I guess there are somethings that change that would be impactful for someone else....but is it really?

I mean ...can you not just be in someone’s life and enjoy them for who they are in that moment? I’m not talking about changing so much that your a different person...but just little things...I used to like blue...now it’s purple. These types of changes should have no bearing on whether you still like me or not....right?

I like my identity. I like that I’m not the same person I was years ago. I like that I still can change my style and my likes...and just because I have changed my shoes doesn’t mean that I’m different on the inside than the person you know...I’m still there....just in a different color!

Until tomorrow...

Thanksgiving Week

Let’s make this week a blog about what you’re thankful for. I want to hear about the things that you are passionate about...even if it’s small. We can all find something that we are thankful for...let’s bring out the positives this week...

I’ll start off with my first thankful of the week...life’s rough road. Without all the hardships I’ve been through I would not be where I am now. I’m so thankful that I learned and lived through those times in my life...I have finally found where I belong. That rough road helped me appreciate the blessing that has been given to me in this new wonderful life.

What’s yours?

Until tomorrow....

Thanksgiving Week

Let’s make this week a blog about what you’re thankful for. I want to hear about the things that you are passionate about...even if it’s small. We can all find something that we are thankful for...let’s bring out the positives this week...

I’ll start off with my first thankful of the week...life’s rough road. Without all the hardships I’ve been through I would not be where I am now. I’m so thankful that I learned and lived through those times in my life...I have finally found where I belong. That rough road helped me appreciate the blessing that has been given to me in this new wonderful life.

What’s yours?

Until tomorrow....

Real Love

You know it’s real when you have been together for over 2 years and it physically hurts to be away from him.

The longer I am without him the more I change. Even just a little hour can set me back...

I immediately feel like I’m breathing better just by him walking in the room.

When he feels the same and we both need each other to breathe...it’s definitely real.

Don’t

Don’t you dare say anything wrong. Don’t you dare try and explain. Don’t you dare ....

Everything you say is wrong....

The way you express yourself is misunderstood and confusing and needs to change immediately. Speaking of it....everything is wrong and you are just a reminder of just how horrible life can be.

These are the things that plow my mind. These are just a few of destructive thoughts that rip through me....

All I can do is just tell myself....Don’t.

Don’t do this to yourself....Just Don’t.

Does it make the thoughts go away...No....but if I repeat to myself to stop it...then it gets easier....at least until the next time.

Here’s to no more next time...

Until tomorrow....

Different Perspective

I had to change my attitude for work today. I really had to ask myself why I get so upset about things that I have no control over.

When things get stressful or deadlines become due...for some reason I feel the need to take on more than I can chew. It works out most times. Sometimes it’s not so great... and the fear of not making it work is what drives the need to take on more again. It’s a never ending cycle...

But today I stopped and said to myself to breathe and just do what I can and manage the rest. The world is going to shit and I don’t need to worry about someone else’s lack of work ethic...I worry about me and mine only.

Zen...

Until tomorrow

Future outlooks

It’s funny how far and wide my future seems to be now. In my old life everything was day to day...never really thought about the future to much. Now I have lots of visions for the future.

I also enjoy the day to day more. It’s loving the day to day an seeing how my future is just getting better. When I stop and think about it... my only fear is losing it. Sometimes if you let those thoughts go wild ... you could slip into that crazy place where your alter ego will destroy what you love the most and bring your deepest fears to reality.

Don’t go there...enjoy this ride of bliss and merriment! Just because it’s so wonderful doesn’t mean that you don’t deserve it.

Until tomorrow

Future outlooks

It’s funny how far and wide my future seems to be now. In my old life everything was day to day...never really thought about the future to much. Now I have lots of visions for the future.

I also enjoy the day to day more. It’s loving the day to day an seeing how my future is just getting better. When I stop and think about it... my only fear is losing it. Sometimes if you let those thoughts go wild ... you could slip into that crazy place where your alter ego will destroy what you love the most and bring your deepest fears to reality.

Don’t go there...enjoy this ride of bliss and merriment! Just because it’s so wonderful doesn’t mean that you don’t deserve it.

Until tomorrow

Hardworking

My man is hard working in all aspects of life. Working to keep us in our nice life...working to keep me absolutely on a pedestal....working to keep to guessing at how much happier he is going to make me.

He is my rock and my sword. My Daddy has me wrapped around his finger. I am His through and through.

Until tomorrow....

Likely not alike

Do you feel a certain way about your partner that is different from the other partners you have had? If it better, worse or the same? Is it completely different? Is it more meaningful? Is there deeper love and trust? Or is it the same or worse than the last.

If you answer this question as yes everything is different and better and wonderful....then it probably means this person is nothing like your ex. Not only they way you interact together, but also the tendencies they will have going forward. Meaning...that not only should you not punish them for something an ex put you through because everyone is going to pay the consequences of your ex’s actions...but you also should also analyze how you reach to an infraction. Are you acting a certain way because of the way someone else did you? Or are you truly looking at the situation as a new issue that has happened between to the two of you.

If you know that the person you are with is the one you have always wanted to be with....why do you act the same as you would if you were with your ex? Can you not agree that an issue that is new to this relationship should be treated differently?

Just think about it....

Until tomorrow....