Firecracker Diaries - A combination of stories, random thoughts and an appreciation log of life with Daddy

Without Him Day 18

Long day of driving but I made it back just in time to pick up our new little buddy!! I’m so excited to have a baby in the house!! Now there will be another little guy waiting for me to get home!!

We named him Lynx. He is so cute and gorgeous! I went and got the initial round of supplies and have him all set up! Now just have to let him get used to his new home!

My Daddy will be home in 48 hours and I am jumping for joy! Lots of work over the next couple of days to get ready for him and to go on our trip...which I can’t wait to meet his family!

So excited! I wanted to upload a picture but I can’t figure out how to put it in the blog!! I will put him up on my profile...check him out!!

Until tommorrow!!!

Without Him Day 17

It’s been a day of travel and a quick visit with family! I came to get Daddy’s car and drive it back home!

I will be headed out early in the morning! Enjoying a 10 hour drive of smelling my Love!! Listening to music and thinking of our time together that is coming soon!

Once home I will get to go and pick up our new baby (kitten). I’m super excited!!

This is short and sweet because I’ve got to get to sleep!!

Until tomorrow!!

Without Him Day 16

I did a photo shoot tonight for Daddy!!! I’m hoping he loves it!!

It’s funny how women can be so confident and self-conscious at the same time. Why do we take pictures of Ourselves and overthink them and examine them 45 times before will finally send it to somebody. Do all women do this or is it just me?

My daddy makes me feel ultra beautiful and extremely confident but when it comes to taking pictures of myself I always over analyze it and doubt my beauty. I know I am beautiful and I truly believe that but when you see pictures of yourself it’s almost like you have to examine every single part of it to make sure everybody else will think you’re beautiful. I always have to remind myself that the way I see myself is not the way my daddy sees me.

I wish I could see myself the way that he says he sees me. It might be a scary thing and then I would post pictures of myself everywhere all the time....lol!

Only four more days and he’s finally home. I’m hoping that these pictures will light his fire even more!

Until tomorrow...

Without Him Day 15

Only 5 more days!!!

So my Master is thinking about making a change with his job. This job would bring him closer while he is working...close enough that he could come home some nights and I could go and see him on the weekends. It’s not a guarantee that he could always be that close...but even if we’re half the time...it would be awesome.

I’m so excited at the potential of this happening...but I don’t want to push him in any direction. Even though this would make me over the moon...it is a decision that is his to make as it is his career. He knows that I always want him close to me...so my input is heavily biased!!! Lol

Either way I’m so blessed to have him...and every single moment we get together is absolutely precious to me. Every call, every text, every picture, every touch, every conversation, every look, every everything is priceless.

Until tomorrow...

Without Him Day 14

Only 6 more days!!!! And I have a busy weekend flying back and then driving his car back home!! I will get to smell him for a good 10 hours or so! Lol

My next couple of days will be pretty busy, so they should fly by!! I also have gotten some instructions today of how I will be fulfilling some of my punishments. I will have to go to the adult store and pick up some new toys. I also will need to make some more pictures for my Daddy.

I had 4 punishments that have been lingering for about a month now...and I incurred one today. I was so proud of myself for not incurring any this time around...and I messed it up today. So I will have to work to get the things Daddy wants done done!

I’m getting so excited to get him home...I have missed him so much!!! Hopefully my pictures that I make for him will have him drooling and even more anxious to be home!!! I’m ready for our time!!!

Until tomorrow....

Without Him Day 13

I have a serious problem with obsessing over personal perfection. It’s with all things...at work, the way I put on my makeup, how I do my hair, the way the line in your socks line up on your toes, etc. Mostly the things that are directly a reflection of my performance of anything! 

It’s a blessing and a curse. It gives me beautiful focus to be creative, great smelling laundry, beautiful eye makeup, and great handwriting. The unfortunate part of it is when things are looking like you are doing good or I’m not able to make something go right...it’s almost debilitating. It’s extremely hard to factor in all of the outside influences that effect any goal or plan you set. And it’s even harder to just go with the flow when there is a perceived view of personal failure.

I set an extremely high expectation for myself...and the idea of not being successful at anything that I want to succeed at...is hard. This is something I do to myself...and I recognize that and I’m trying to be more “go with the flow “ with myself. It’s a process...

I’m thankful for my Daddy and that he try’s to help ease my anxiety about things and helps me relax by just talking me through some of my frustrations. Just listening to him helps me see things differently....or realize that I’m making a mountain out of a mole hill. It’s strange how most things I’m so relaxed at...and others I become obsessed with...there’s no in between! Lol

Until tomorrow...

Without Him Day 12

I felt a little melancholy today. You know those days that your just sad...no reason really...just sad. Missing him terribly today....missing his presence.

It was one of those days that you just want to curl up in the bed and be held. Be held close enough that I can feel his heart beat. Feel his breath...smell him. My heart yearns for him.

I think it started because I accidentally erased all of the text messages we had. He has two phones so I still have all of the others ones...but the ones I lost were the entire thread since we started talking! I know it’s stupid...but those were precious to me. The sweet dialogue of us falling in love...of the beginning of our relationship...of all the beginnings of or Dom/Sub relationship...all there in a story to read over and over again. It broke my heart...

I have all the memories...but the beauty of reading it is gone. I cried.

On the positive side...I can make a new story line with him to read. I have to find the positive somewhere...I just love him so much that everything from him is precious...every word, every emotion, every gift, everything!!!

Until tomorrow...

Without Him Day 11

My Master has unfortunately caught a virus of some kind. He has been under the weather for the last 24 hours or so. I wish I could be there to take care of him...but nope.

Which makes me think about cuddling....I would love to just cuddle him...hold him.

When you have so much time away from your love...you play out scenes with each other in your head...all kinds of scenes...you compare yourself with lovers on TV...I pretend I am doing those things with him. I play out everyday scenes and lots of love scenes!

The love scenes consists of mostly me pleasuring him. Making sure I am filling all of his desires. Making sure that he would never be hungry sexually. I sometimes read about things I should do to ensure I please him.

Maybe I think about the physical side of him a little too much...lol! Nah...I think every inch of him is sexy...why wouldn’t I think about him all the time...and want to be close to his body all the time??? Sick or not...I just want to be near him!

Until tomorrow...

Without Him Day 10

I’ve started my diet and exercise plan for reals for reals today. I always kinda diet and go to the gym...but I’ve started a “serious” one. I had a meal plan organized for me and 90 days of workouts.

I bought my food for the next week and plan on meal prepping tomorrow!! I’m pushing to make 20!pounds come off ASAP!!! 

This meal plan is high protein, and fiber. Today I felt like all I did was eat and I skipped an entire meal! And water...holy smokes...I might float away!  But it’s all going to be worth it!!! 

And I’m staying faithful to the gym...and still waiting for that moment when I just love the gym and can’t imagine life without it. Even though it makes me feel better, I do crave the feeling after...I still have to make myself go...

Any tips out there?? Anything special you do to keep yourself healthy? Anybody want to share what they do best to keep themselves the best?? Skin, hair, diet, exercise, sex??? Please share!!

Until tomorrow....

Without Him Day 9

I had a little bit of a scare tonight. My Daddy is very good at communicating with me...I mean extremely good. He always responds to calls and texts...he sends them often himself. He tells me where he’s going and when he’s going to be busy,etc....and today he did tell me he was going to be busy for a while tonight.

I arrived home and sent him my text that I was home...I waited for a while and tried to call...I waited for a while longer and texted again...and nothing. 6 hours of radio silence!!! Now understand that when he is out...away from home for the 20 days...his job isn’t the safest or easiest job in the world...so naturally I worry. And when there is nothing for a response or acknowledgement of texts...I worry more.

I keep myself busy for the most part...but when it starts to get late the panic is creeping in....but thankfully he just called. And like he told me...he was extremely busy. But I’m so thankful that he took a moment to call me...my stomach an relax now...lol.

Thankful he is alright...now I can get ready to be at the half way point to him coming home!!!

Until tomorrow...