...and a hatchet that I bought from scratch.
I'm coming back to this site after almost a year gone for a reason. I'm here to write my thoughts from the comfort and safety of my quiet home while looking for those few kinks to work themselves out.
I'm out of practice in the art of putting my thoughts down so if you're reading this now, forgive my scattered nature; it's in a period of regrowth.
I'm here not for a total lifestyle, but for fetish and fantasy. It seems that in this particular corner of the world I'm out of my league. Perhaps I need a bit of guidance in my life, but I'd like to see a potential mate as more of a partner and less of a controlling rule-maker.
My first taste into this lifestyle was long distance and very relaxed. It came to me at the end of a long, sexless relationship, and when it ended, I decided to dip my toes in the waters of The Cage. Here I found myself easily intimidated, but willing to share things about myself I was previously too embarrassed to speak about. I ghosted some men and ignored others all while trying to find out why this lifestyle was drawing me in.
I took some time away and focused on my work and myself with moderate success. I enjoy what I do for a living and appreciate the relationships and the bonds that I've made in the process, but I am a lonely lady at times. Once I established myself securely both professionally and domestically I decided to start dating again.
The man I chose to date for the last two months showed many desirable traits to me; a want and need to have a monogamous relationship, financial independence, and skills in money management.
But the flags, y'all. Those pesky red flags.
I like to think of myself as an intelligent person. I've been through a lot in my years on this earth and I've learned many valuable lessons. There's still one lesson though, no matter how many times I'm faced with it, I will never succeed in. I need to trust myself and my judgement when someone shows me that we're incompatible.
Rather than tear this man down publicly, which I really want to do while cloaked in this anonymity, I'll just lay down what led me back here. He was a near ideal sexual partner. With very little discussion we were able to play together in a way that I have never experienced. He restrained me and brought me to new levels of pleasure. I thought, naively I admit, that he was experienced in the ways of BDSM or in a D/s relationship. I wanted to share with him things I had learned here at The Cage, things we could talk about and ways we could improve our communication.
I was so wrong.
Showing him this site led him to believe what a sexual deviant I am. He called me name after name and told me that anyone of you reading this could have taken your turn since I had already signed up. I was confused, hurt, and ashamed. I thought that since he was the one tying the rope each time that he would understand.
I should end my rant here, and I will. I will welcome myself back to a routine of writing and reading. I will keep track of my growth and appreciate the conversations I have here.
And I will appreciate those red flags for what they are.
Cheers to all you deviants out there, and don't let anyone shame your kink 😘
