I've been doing some light reflection on things. I said in one of my earlier posts that I need to do some self-care/love before anything else in regards to submission. So I've been on pinterest a lot lately. Looking up routines, self-care/love things, affirmations. It is cathartic almost.
I see some things about it that interest me; sleeping 6-8 hrs, meditate, eat well, work out, journal, do things for you, etc.
I read all of these things and I just think... damn... I just need to take care of myself! I don't think I have ever done that in my 27 years of life. I focus on the ones around me. But no body has focused on me. Then the emotions attached to that comes through (lonliness, bitterness, etc). I need to let those feelings go, because in all honesty that shit has made me strong. I can be alone. I can handle my shit on my own. Though it would be nice knowing someone out there cared enough to focus on me for once. Kind of why I have such terrible self-worth.
But... with self-love I need to let go of that. Because I need to love myself without any one else's approval or love. I am who I am and I need to stop telling myself I am a waste of breath and totally worthless. Sometimes those demons get loud though. All of those things I listed above though, should shut those demons up. Right?
Anyways, I had seen some things on here because I read others' blog posts (it's all so interesting!) and I had some questions. Well, only two at the moment because I had a list going in my head and I lost that list. hah!
- What is subspace exactly?
- How can a sub/dom relationship exist without love? Does that even happen?
I asked that last question in my last blog post but didn't get much answers. I also wonder, because I am shy... I read but I don't comment on others blogs. Should I start coming out of my shell? Maybe that will help with my un-ending lonliness. Well, I suppose that's it for this.
Forever daydreaming of my future dom.
-just me