I got back here after quite some time. So I was reading these posts with a fresh mind. And the one thing that caught my mind was Acceptance.
Acceptance, as defined by most, is "me being with a partner who accepts me for me". That is, we shred all masks and exterior and let someone see who we are... which not necessarily be all pure and white.
We seek acceptance from someone who holds some meaning to us. We can't be good for everyone. Everyone has a special person, but we can't be special to everyone. So, we look for that one person whom we can say "me likey"... and then, seek to be accepted by them on all levels.
Those who look for partners here on Cage, like me, have that sense of safety, security, that at least their kinky side will not be judged. It's "accepted" freely here. Then, we look for someone who fits us like a puzzle piece. It's not a matter of what shape the piece is. Some may like knife play, scat, blood, while others get scared of it. What's important is that we find someone who fits us... Who gives what I need, and takes what I give. "Accepts" my views and opinions, even if they don't agree with them and vice versa.
What I'm trying to say here is that person should hold some meaning in our eyes to seek acceptance from. Even writing this post I'm thinking who would say what because I know a few names who will read this and are important for me.
Acceptance comes with time as the relationship grows. No one can accept your bad sides if you show through the first day. You need to connect, respect and be something in the eyes of each other before you expect your bad sides to be accepted. You insecurities will hold value only to someone who holds you dear.
So, not every dom/sub you "talk" to needs to know "all of you". But once you decide to move ahead with one person (or persons if you're into poly), you can lay bare your heart and body. And if your aren't accepted then, walk out. Simple.
Abys xo
