Learning to be Myself

The one thing I adore about being on Cage and a part of this community is that it gives you the freedom to be yourself unapologetically.

I've been told by a lot of "normies" that I tend to be overly polite and it comes off as fake and weirds them out with the level of formality I portray.

But here, I've been appreciated for the same and been told that I'm a "good girl" for being respectful and polite.

Thank you Cage and everyone that makes up this community for being my safe space.

Much love,

Xo xo

First..... And probably, the last.

So, it was a sudden turn of events. Sir DaddE talked to me, shared with me about himself and ma'am, told me to give a chance to be their sub/slave. We talked about it in depth and he sated many of my fears.

For instance, someone had told me that being turned on by calling you dom daddy means you have sexual desires for your father. That was quite a ewww thought because I respect my dad immensely. Sir cleared to me that that is absolutely not true and explained it as well.

He cleared a lot many of my fears (also, secretly, they both look very cute together). So, I chose to give it a go. We had decided to give it a go online at first, since they live half world away from me. Sir gave me tasks, both sexual and otherwise, and I had SO MUCH FUN doing them all. It was both a turn on and enjoyable.

Although, by the end of 24 hrs it was clear to me that I might be a sub (that's for sure now lol) but I'm definitely not made for online domination (that's also sure). It made me uncomfortable, uncertain and very insecure.

Sadly, around the same time, maam realised that she isn't very comfortable with polys and sir and ma'am decided to talk it out. I wish them both good luck in sorting this out and finding their perfect missing piece.

And I learned that I don't have daddy issues, I don't like online domination and I don't like sharing XD

It was a nice experience all things considered.

Thankyou Sir DaddE and best wishes to you.

Xo

Been an awfully long time since I last wrote something. My mum was sick and I was really busy caring for her. Ignored all my friends - though unintentionally - so sorry about that. But it's good to be back. This community never fails to amaze me with their acceptance of all and everybody regardless.

I don't know how many of you are knowledgeable about how Indian societies function but here's a fun fact:

If you're of marriageable age, your papa is retired and your mum gets seriously sick, then you're ready to married off. I know, sounds weird, but my mum felt like she should marry me off before her health worsens... So there's only so much arguing I can do.

After much talk, they've agreed to give me one year - at max, two years - to my own and then, it's going to be arranged. And now I'm left feeling like I'll never find a dom I'm comfy with or that I'll have to give up on the lifestyle altogether.

It's a very depressing thought. I want to get out of my own head and don't know what to do or how. I feel trapped between wanting to live my life and doing what my mum wishes. Neither choice is easy.

Sigh... Well putting it all down at least helped.

Thanks for hearing me out if you read till here.

Ciao~

I got back here after quite some time. So I was reading these posts with a fresh mind. And the one thing that caught my mind was Acceptance.

Acceptance, as defined by most, is "me being with a partner who accepts me for me". That is, we shred all masks and exterior and let someone see who we are... which not necessarily be all pure and white.

We seek acceptance from someone who holds some meaning to us. We can't be good for everyone. Everyone has a special person, but we can't be special to everyone. So, we look for that one person whom we can say "me likey"... and then, seek to be accepted by them on all levels.

Those who look for partners here on Cage, like me, have that sense of safety, security, that at least their kinky side will not be judged. It's "accepted" freely here. Then, we look for someone who fits us like a puzzle piece. It's not a matter of what shape the piece is. Some may like knife play, scat, blood, while others get scared of it. What's important is that we find someone who fits us... Who gives what I need, and takes what I give. "Accepts" my views and opinions, even if they don't agree with them and vice versa.

What I'm trying to say here is that person should hold some meaning in our eyes to seek acceptance from. Even writing this post I'm thinking who would say what because I know a few names who will read this and are important for me.

Acceptance comes with time as the relationship grows. No one can accept your bad sides if you show through the first day. You need to connect, respect and be something in the eyes of each other before you expect your bad sides to be accepted. You insecurities will hold value only to someone who holds you dear.

So, not every dom/sub you "talk" to needs to know "all of you". But once you decide to move ahead with one person (or persons if you're into poly), you can lay bare your heart and body. And if your aren't accepted then, walk out. Simple.

Abys xo

Thank you people. To all those who talked to me, gave me their sincere advice, praised me for talking to them and most of all for being there. I already feel so much better. I'm sure a good night's sleep with do the rest of its magic. If I can even consider sleeping it's thanks to you all. (I'm not naming you guys, but you should you're too awesome !)

I'll be back all better 😘

Aby❤️☃️

So, I screwed up. Any and all advices are welcome.

I was browsing through books on wattpad and found one with a great story, BDSM refrences and a mild rape/suicide trigger warning. I've read book like that before, so, I didn't pay it much mind and began reading.

After about 15 chapters I realised the story held more than a few resemblances to my life and I, unconsciously, related myself to the protagonist.

Trouble is, the parts with the triggers came, along with tons of resemblance and one of them being a trigger for me. I began crying mid story. Now, I'm not able to go back to being "normal".

I'm feeling extremely depressed and everything, even irrelevant stuff like a dramatic dance performance on TV, is making me cry uncontrollably. It's like there is a knot in my stomach and there is this nauseous feeling in my throat. I don't want to talk to friends or family. Don't want to share my triggers and I don't think they will understand either. There is this horrible empty feel and my chest hurts.

Please advice me anything that might work in making me feel better somehow. Please. I don't know who else to talk to about this.

Aby☃️

Uhm... So... This is just so that nobody considers me a "Ghost"... 😒

I broke my cellphone folder and it needs to get repaired. I have no idea how long it will ACTUALLY take even though the work need hardly a day...

Of cousre, as expected, I'll be offline for "Dunno How" long period of time. Please don't miss me too much or I might get back too soon for your liking... *Meh*

Anyways... Toodles people... I'll be back... No one's been ghosted... See ya...

Be happy.

Stay kinky.

Aby☃️🔥

It was a big day today for me. Those who know of Indian culture know how hard it is to accept your sexuality here. It is considered taboo for people to talk about their sexual preferences even with their better halves. To live in such a place, and to accept that I have a submissive in me was in itself a big step. However, I was utterly alone in my choices.

Though, today was different. I was out for lunch with a few friends, and later got to spend some quality alone time with my bestie. I took a deep breath, asked her not to freak out and told her everything. From the very beginning on What is BDSM, How I realised I was into it and Where I've come...

And guess what ! She asked me one and one question alone," You're gonna be safe right !?" And when I assured her of my safety, she accepted me so willingly that I ended up crying...

That feeling of having someone around with whom I can bare my heart is awesome...

I'm glad I gathered enough courage and I guess I'm blessed to have her.

It was a big day for me and it went great !

Aby ❤️

Movie Day ? You saying what's the big deal ?

Do I really have to tell ???

The thing is I'm a novel person (much of the reason why I'm still safe from '50 Shades of Gray' ). But this morning when I finished on of my novels ( it was a smexy bdsm gay romance - don't judge), I couldn't decide which one to begin next. So, I decided let's watch something untill I decide on a book and...

Ta-dah ! Movie day ! I've finished watching Raazi, Bird Box, and re-watched Moana and Brave (yes ! I love cartoons ! Deal with it !!). I still have another 6 hours of the day but now I can't decide on what movie to watch !

Ugghhh !

Please can someone suggest me any good movie to watch (maybe horror or cartoons !). 

Pretty pleeeeeaasseeeee 🙏😁😋

Abyss ❤️

After I joined cage, I talked to quite a few people and began gaining a little confidence in myself. If anything, even the fake doms know how to talk with respect to the ladies here.

A guy friend of mine approached me with the idea of being "friends with benefits" and I thought he should know my preferences before he jumps into any ideas.

So I told him I'm into Bdsm and that I like being tied up, choked and spanked. He went all round-eyed and you will too when you hear his reply.

He told me," Are you out of your mind ? Bdsm and such is all a myth. Nobody does that in real life. Only porn has bdsm and that too only for twisted minded people. You are such a sweet, lovable and cute girl. Who taught you all these outrageous things ! Stay away from weird people dear !!"

I was speechless for a moment. I just looked at him to shocked to speak. Then, when I got my voice back I told hum while smiling," Guess I am too twisted minded and damaged for you to deal with..." Although I was angry at that time, I had a great laugh when back home !!!

BDSM is a Myth, eh ? 😏🤣

Abys ❤️