Plain Jane

Do you ever think about time? 

what is time. Is it an hour a moment a second? Is it only on our watches or now a days our cell phones? 

does something bad have to happen before we stop the chaos in our lives to see the beauty in this world. Are our lives so busy we don’t have “time” to sit and listen to the stories of our elders? Is it so busy we don’t have “time” to play with our children? For a lot of people the answer to this question is sadly “YES”. 

who is responsible for our time our parents, our children, friends or family? The answer to that question is we allow it to “BE”. 

each moment each second is not something we will ever get back. Each hour is precious. 

so why do we waste our precious time on so many stupid things? Like revenge or angry these things waste so much of our time it’s not funny. Just last night my roommate was so mad at the backyard fence and our neighbors that she forgot to enjoy the time she was spending with me and her son fixing the fence.

my time is so very precious to me I count every second a gift. I don’t really participate in life. I’m a stand behind the curtain kind of girl. I prefer life and people don’t know I exist really. Life is safer that way people don’t bother you to much unless they see you with something they want and feel they are entitled to have. Then they take it away. So best if no one knows. 

anyway I have put a lot of thought into this yesterday as I was working my usual 17 hour day and watched people. They just throw anything into their shopping carts and it’s crap and they feed this to their children that they don’t sit down and eat dinner with. It’s just microwave put on plate so they can get on their cell phones. I don’t usually cuss but yup there’s my favorite word “butt” 😂 WHAT THE FUCK PEOPLE!!!  Get off your phones eat dinner together make some memories for god’s sakes. I raise five children pretty much a single mom and dinner was at the table 85% of the time. It’s where we each talked about our day and what was going on. some of our best memories are at that old worn out dinner table. 10 cent muffins will always  and forever be a laugh With my family. Each will always smile if they think about it. 
it’s time lol love the pun here. Butt 😂 it really is time for people to take their time back slow the hell down and enjoy life we only get one. 

time to me is memories the answer to my own question.

So today I thought about a perfect life a perfect body a perfect car,  house. You get the picture. 

then I thought about it some more and pictured the perfect house. Then I changed it about fifty times just in my head. Then I thought about if I lost weight got a nose job or a boob lift. 

then I came to realize what is perfect and do I ever want to achieve it. Because if I achieve perfect then I have nothing more to do in life. I have nothing to look forward to. Nothing to talk to others about. 

so let my body be a work in progress. let my house always be under construction. May I never like my car or get my nose job or my boob lift. 

because I never want to stop dreaming Or believing. I never want to give up my faith in myself or others. 

I have decided I never want PERFECT!!!!

i want the adventure of life...

So as I see my life in a nut shell. 

I am me I am unique I am one of a kind. I also have many sides. 

people are of many shapes. As we look different we are different. 
“BUTT” yup you all know my favorite word. 🤣😂😆.....🙃 butt as we all look different we are different on the inside also. It’s what makes us different. It’s what makes us unique. It’s what makes a new journey. It’s what makes life interesting. 
my life is not a secret nor is it someone else’s novel. It’s my journey my novel. It’s mine to share with whom I want to share with. It’s......“mine”. So I don’t think we need to share our novel or our life 100% of the time. 
I share certain parts with my kids which is different than what I share with my coworkers. Which I can tell you is sooooooo way different from what I share with friends. And I promise what I share with them is different than what I share with all of you on this site. Does that make me a hypocrite? 

hummmmmm it’s a great question you would think. But the answer is sooooo easy........ NO. 
we are all adults and we don’t have to answer to anyone about certain parts of our lives. 

our lives were gifts from god. And he gave us many adventures and journeys that he wants us to take that’s why there’s so many different doors and windows. And it’s why there is so many different people in this world. 

we each share different stories and adventures with different people. It’s what keeps life interesting and keeps us on our toes. 

I’m I a hypocrite for not sharing my sex life with my children HELL no and are they for not sharing with me GOD no. I don’t want to know. 🤮

my life is my adventure and it is a gift that I share with people around me. Or not. But not everyone is worthy of my story and that’s ok. I may not be worthy of their story either. 

telling your life or not, does not make you a hypocrite. It makes you wise beyond your years. It means you have common sense. And you know where and when to share your adventure. 

I don’t normally expose my life or my laundry to anyone. But I just need a.... I.... guess a you did great. Great job and see David can still beat goliath in modern days. 

so being me I have to do thing big when comes to the stupid stuff. Last December I walked my dog and slipped on ice and knocked myself out on the 18th. You would think that would be the end right... yeah me too. But nope once Wanda does  something she has to one up herself. I take dog for walk at one of the parks. On the 21st and I slip and knock myself out again. This time with an Audience. I wake up surrounded by people. Well I try and stay invisible so seeing so many people around me first of all scares the Pooh out of me and I find my dog and leave. Now I am going to say driving home was not my smartest move on this day. But I make it home safely. My roommate insisted I go to the ER I’ve knocked myself out twice in 4 days. I go. Which is something I never do. I’m terrified of needles and doctors. But now I have a new reason to be terrified. The bill. But I see a lot of codes so I google them. I see a lot of things not right then I go over my insurance contract. I call insurance and they fix their errors right away. But hospital won’t admit their mistake. 
well it’s eight month later and my roommate owes me a steak dinner. I got an apology letter from the hospital for all of the grief and any inconvenience that they may have caused me. 
Me the  little guy that stood up and fought  the good fight and won. Now they want to know if I would like to set up a payment plan. Lol yes I am making my own bill and submitting it to them my monthly salary for the last eight  to do their job. She says I won’t win this one but I’m willing to bet a steak dinner with her I won’t be paying that bill. “And they all told me I was to old and had no experience just my education in billing well I guess my education was enough to kick experiences ass”
I just needed to get it off my chest one fight of the world won and I have a few more I’m still working on.

Quiet girls really do kick the worlds ass we just do it in silence and never get noticed. Haha to the world quiet girls rule. Woot woot. 

what really surprises me is I usually take It and say thank you can you kick me a hundred times more. I’m not a fighter at all. 

John and Ben watched Wanda. Sure enough Anthony followed her as she walked out of the bar. She was walking back to her motel thinking about checkout. She needed to call the front desk and ask what time checkout was and for a wake up call for the morning. 
she lite a cigarette and now was thinking she should have stopped at 2 beers and glad she didn’t get to finish the fourth one. 
then she remembered Brutus and the tears were falling God she missed that dog. Her dog, her M.D...... 

a van came flying in front of her and stopped. Wanda jumped back startled. She looked at her surroundings and the man coming out of the van. It was the creep from the bar and some other guy. Anthony glared at her. Hey smart ass get in the van he told her. She looked at him and told him to go fuck himself. He advanced on her and she took a step back in full fighting stance. All she had learned from her karate class came back to her. She wasn’t that great because of balance but tonight she prayed it would be enough please she said a silent prayer. All that her her boys and one daughter had taught her flashed in her thoughts. Ok she was instantly sober. Anthony started to advance on her again. She front kicked him in his stomach dead center, then punched him in the nose. The other guy started to get out of the van. Anthony yelled at him to get back in the van. He told him she’s mine. He got ahold of her and she started screaming FIRE, FIRE, FIRE. 
john came up and grabbed Anthony while they were fighting, Ben grabbed Wanda, she punched him in the jaw. Damn she had a great right hook, but nothing he couldn’t take. He pulled Wanda into the truck and pushed her in. John left Anthony on the ground and was in the truck now also. Wanda was fighting Ben and screaming at the top of her lungs. Get off me you creep. She was on her back kicking “that’s it kick mom kick like a turtle on its back mom kick kick kick”. Her daughter Molly was in her head. 
john looked back,  the van was right on them. Ben finally got in between wandas legs and held her arms above her head. WE ARE NOT GOING TO HURT YOU STOP! She looked up at him “yeah I bet that’s what Jack the Ripper told all of his victims to BUTTHEAD! John was on the phone and talking to someone all she could hear was yea, ok thanks. She looked up at Ben and thought to herself “this is not happening, this is really not happening”. I am on my first trip alone. God I wanted an adventure but I didn’t want to die. I still need grandkids and there were things still to do with the kids like surprise visits when they least expect it. 
John was talking to the boys. Ok looks like this guy is a suspect as a serial killer wanted for questioning. In the murders of women across the states. 
Ben looked down at Wanda ok did you hear that, that guy is wanted by the FBI. So I am going to let you up now. John looked at his son and told him to wait. I’ll trade places with you before you do that please. Ben was fine with that she had hit him quit a few times in the nuts and they were on fire. John got in the back and Wanda took that moment to bite his thigh. His voice went to a high pitch of a yelp. She wasn’t letting go. John grabbed her nose. She had to let go but was hoping she had drawn blood. Ben smiled  “she’s a fighter”. STOP IT NOW! John yelled. wanda looked up at him he was now in bens place between her legs. 
Wanda was taking deep big breaths and telling herself to breath And stay calm. If I panic I will lose my opportunity to escape. 
John looked down at her, I am going to let you up now, if you start your shit I will put you back in this position got it. She smiled and nodded her head yes.

she was thinking observe your surroundings look for opportunity. STAY CALM! Keep breathing. 
John let her up and told her to buckle up. Yeah right she spat back at him. GOD DAMN IT WOMAN BUCKLE UP! She glared at him. Look you can cuss all you want I don’t care do it to each other. BUT DON’T YOU DO IT TO ME EVEN IF YOU ARE GOING TO RAPE AND KILL ME! GOT IT BIG BOY! 
John just looked at her. This woman did just get out of the asylum. John pointed to the van following them. Look honey if we wanted you dead you would already be dead. Now look out the back window that is the guy that just tried to grab you he is a suspect for a series of killings across the country, and he wants you! She looked out the back window sure enough there was the van behind them. She looked at John and then at Ben really for the first time and ran the events of the night through her mind. 
she looked at John and asked him “why are you helping me. No one does anything without an agenda? John looked at her? WHAT are you really crazy? Did you really just get out of the asylum? She pushed him NO I didn’t but let’s face it no one does anything without something being in it for them. He smiled, ok yes I guess there is, we are bounty hunter and that guy has a nice price on his head. But with you in the truck I’m not going to have a shot out with him. So first we need to get you in a safe place then we can capture him. She smiled see I told you. 
John looked at Ben and then Ian the look on all of their faces said OMG is she real? 
look I’ve never hit a woman or put one in danger but woman you are testing me, and I will spank a woman if I have to. So for right now you are going to do what we say when we say it. GOT IT! She smiled the sweetest smile and shot back an OK FINE! She looked back out the window she couldn’t believe this was happening.

She looked at John he looked to be in his early fifties he was built like the Great Wall of China. Not in the gross way with muscles on muscles. Ben and Ian looked to be in their late twenties maybe early thirties. She could tell the boys where Johns sons they looked like young versions of him. Built like him also. 

to be continued....

She was playing pool by herself when Anthony noticed her. Oh God he thought easy target, he licked his lips. She reminded him of his mother. In a bar listening to rock music and a smoker. He had been killing all these loser women across the United States. Anyone that reminded him of his mother had to die in his book. 
Anthony walked up and ask if he could play her a game of pool. She told him very politely no. He didn’t like no so he tried to talk her into it. 
she handed him the pool stick and went to another empty table, put in her quarters and racked up the balls. Anthony wasn’t taking no for an answer.

Wanda didn’t want to play anyone, she wanted to be left alone. He walked over to her new table. “I want to play you”. She smiled and looked down. Well I don’t want to play with you or anyone else tonight please. If you need some quarters I can give you some. She handed him a few of her small stacks of quarters off the side of her new table. She didn’t have pockets. She had her phone,car keys and room key in her sports bra. 
Anthony got pissed and walked away. 
Wanda didn’t know but the three guys she thought she would never see again after singing, dancing making cat claw motions to and waving bye, to in the truck earlier were at the bar watching Anthony. 
John and his two sons Ian and Ben were bounty hunters and there was a reward out for Anthony. 
Anthony was wanted for running out on bail, domestic violence, credit card fraud and child abuse. John wanted him bad just for the child abuse. No one hurts kids damn it. 
John was looking at Wanda she was wearing leggings and a baggie baseball shirt and a Washington nat’s baseball hat. She had the slimmest smallest legs John had ever seen, and the smallest feet. He wondered how she didn’t fall over, they were that small. She was at least five eight with medium long brown hair. Her eyes were hazel with a small round heart shaped face. Damn those long legs they had him he couldn’t stop staring at them. She was a tall woman she had to be thirty five thirty eight at the most he thought to himself. 
he could tell she wasn’t drunk but hoped she wasn’t driving because she was well buzzed. She was a pretty good pool player not bad at all. But he also noticed she had no self confidence. 
Ben looked at his dad, he was thinking shit. John put his hand up this was an easy job. Should be easy money. No need to jump up because of a nice ass and a great pair of legs. 
Anthony went to a table and a hot blonde was all over him. Anthony’s eyes were watching Wanda and John Was watching Anthony as close as he was watching Wanda who was thoroughly enjoying herself. Anthony finished his beer and went back over to the table to try and play Wanda a game of pool again. Wanda politely told him no again, and to stop asking please. 
the hot blonde got angry and told Wanda to stop shaking her ass at every guy in the bar. Wanda Spun on the blonde then stopped and just went back to her game. 
the blonde went back to Anthony she wanted him bad John could tell she was all over him. Anthony pushed passed the blonde and put quarters on wanda’s pool table. Wanda looked at him then sighed, she hit the last of her balls in and put her stick down. 
she walked up to the bar to get another beer. Anthony followed her, with the blonde right at his heels. 
John wasn’t going to miss this conversation and went up to stand on the other side of Wanda. She didn’t notice him which was unusual he thought to himself. he was fifty five but still got the women’s attention. He shook his head he wasn’t here for that right now. 
the blonde looked at Wanda and went off. What are you doing in here look he is with me. Wanda had enough and sighed again. look Barbie I don’t want Ken so why don’t you two go get in your Barbie car and leave me alone. What is he twenty eight twenty nine I’ve got kids older than him. And I have no interest in gigantor, what would he want with an old lady like me. the blonde got pissed and pushed Wanda. Wanda looked at Anthony. Is she with you? Because if she is get her out of my face NOW, or you won’t be calling the cops you’ll be calling a clean up crew for her parts to see if they can put Humpty Dumpty here back together again. I just got out of the asylum and the food is really bad there. And my therapist said before I kill anyone again I need to remember how bad the food is there. So please leave me ALONE! 
John smiled oh my god that was the best line he had ever heard. 
At that moment the bartender came up. “Is there a problem here? Wanda looked at her, I really hope not. Anthony pulled the blonde and left. 
John got a beer and went back to the table with Ben and Ian. He told them what Wanda had said they all were laughing and keeping an eye on her with Anthony. 
At that moment someone brought a dog into the bar. It went straight up to Wanda. She put her hand down she could feel the tears pulling at her eyes. She couldn’t help but pick it up and give it a huge hug. That’s when she lost it tears were streaming down her face. She put the dog down and it seemed to bow to her. Like it knew her pain.  She scratched its ears then ran to the restroom to wash her face. Anthony and John both watched. Anthony laughed “oh yeah miss’s tough was a kitten” he smiled . John saw him the whole time. He told the boys to get ready his gut said something was about to go down. Anthony had made a call at the sight of Wanda crying. 
wanda came out she had washed her face and turned her hat back around to cover her face. Time to go she thought to herself. 
Ian had gone to get the truck. It was a new truck that had been made to look like a piece of junk. It was a large cab big enough for 3 large men to sit comfortably and no one would expect a thing. 

to be continued....

She had just lost her best friend of fifteen years. Brutus the great her road dog. He was her M.D. it stood for my dog to her. 
he wore doges and jackets and he was her life since all the kids had grown up and left out on their own. They went everywhere together. Saturday shopping getting the car washed the oil changed the tires rotated. She couldn’t think of a place that they hadn’t gone together. 
she wasn’t sure how she was feeling because she cried so much and so hard for her loss of him. 
she hadn’t cried like this for her own parents deaths. Of course her parents had pretty much abandoned her her at the age of nine. 
her mom was around more than her dad. But her didn’t have any money and and sometimes they would go hungry. If they went to long she knew her mom would aske her brother for money. At her mom did try. 
her dad was was pretty much out of her life till she had her first child and he had gotten divorced from wife number three or four. She had lost track a long time ago. 
she cried more when these thoughts came up in her head. She knew she wasn’t the greatest mom in the world. She had gotten sick when her youngest was two. She just didn’t know what was wrong. She would sleep all the time. She’d wake up tired and barely get up to go to work. Her children suffered for this. 
at 40 she got her tonsils taken out. Where the new controversy of did her Ex try and murder her. Or was it really an accidental overdose l. She wasn’t really sure in her own head about it. And had no memories to help her with it.

uggghhhhh she thought to her self why is all of this coming up right now? She started kicking her feet. Ugggh Brutus Wasn’t there. He always slept. He was always wrapped around her legs. enough she she thought to herself. She had enough money saved up and time she could take off from work to go on a road trip. Time for an adventure. 
in the morning she decided to do something ofc her bucket list and go sleep in a haunted  hotel and ride a horse into a bar. 
she went to go pack. She was packing Brutus’s stuff when she remembered he was gone and started crying again. She called her boss and told her she need to take some vacation time. Her boss had no problem with it the whole office knew how much Brutus meant to Wanda. 
Wanda finished packing her self and got in her car. She needed an oil change and get the tires checked. 
while she was waiting she texted her coworker Shelly to see if she could take Brutus pictures down at her desk. Shelly told her it was already done. Wanda asked her if she could do the same at her condo. She sent a smiley face and said as you wish my friend. Wand smiled the first time in two days. wanda started googling haunted hotels .she had always wanted to do this crazy idea of hers in Montana. So she started googling dude ranch’s and found one close to town. They had horse riding lessons. She was getting closer to her dream of riding a horse in a bar and ordering a beer. Then she was going to go sleep in a hunted hotel. 
montana here she comes it was about two in the afternoon not a lot of good drive time but she had to leave now not in the morning or she would never go. 
she set her GPS and was off. She watched the scenery go by and looked at Brutus’s spot next to her... she took his doggles out and hung them on the mirror. Here we go boy. She drove till about seven PM then pulled off to find a motel. She had kiss playing loud and was rocking out to heavens on fire. The guys in the truck next to her must have thought she was nuts. Oh well never going to see them again she thought to herself lol. next song was your gonna hear me roar. She made cat claw motions to the guys in the window. She was forgetting all the bad. She checked into a motel room and decided to go to the bar she saw a block away. 
she walked down and order food and a beer. This should help her sleep food and a beer. I’ll just have two she thought,at four she was well buzzed not drunk yet but very well buzzed.

god I’m a cheap date and light weight. Oh well she thought no one to impress but myself. But I am glad I walked and I’m close to my motel she was thinking. 
then the bright shinny big pool tables caught her eye. She loved playing pool she wasn’t very good at all but oh she was on vacation. She put quarters in the juke box playing AC/DC and skid row then a little TA TA Taylor Swift ohhh yeah she thought to herself this was living. 
then she turned her hat backwards and racked up the balls on the table. She had a few good shots she knew how to make if the balls let her have those moments. 
to be continued......

So I know I’m a misfit.I know I’m sarcastic. I know I’m a nut job. But really think about this putting all three of these together in one person. Really think about it. Yup that’s my thought also it’s not a good combination at all. It’s a funny as hell combination but not a good one. 
so I found my positive point to being me. And here are also my reasons for why it’s a good thing, to be ME.

so I always try and find a reason to laugh. I never lose an opportunity to laugh. If you fall down I’m going to laugh. I will help you up I will ask in between giggles if your ok. But I am going to be laughing while I do it. I will make fun of you for doing it. Can’t help it if the door of opportunity is open I will take it. Yup karma loves me. I’m her best friend so understand I will laugh at myself for falling down. 
sarcasm yup most people don’t think about what it is they say. They just say it. Well um...... oh I just can’t I just can’t it’s way to easy...... I will beltliner you in a heartbeat ❤️♥️♥️. 
misfit well I like physical activity. I like physical contact. Not the same..... stop get your mind out of the gutter here.... like motorcycles,fishing,shooting. But Wandas don’t do sleep on the ground. A nice Marriott is just fine with me. I like staying busy I like being by myself most times. Sounds great right. Ok well how many subs act the part instead of just being ourselves. I don’t I won’t. I have to be me. Yes I get lonely and feel lost most times. But I am becoming one with myself. I am finding my inner child. 🤣😂😆🤣😂😆🤣😂😆. Ok more like I’m just letting my inner child out for a change. Ok that’s not really true either my inner child has always been out. I think maybe I’m just noticing my inner child.  Good or bad I have to live with it. And you know what my inner child is pretty darn fantastic. Yup she says things that are right on point but at the cost of someone looking stupid not to hurtful but stupid those I’m ok with the hurtful I get sooooo mad at myself because I don’t want to hurt people maybe that’s why I just sit outside and look in. I don’t know but. 🤔 

Do you think there’s a misfit sub island? Could there be? Should there be? 

I mean the lost boys in Peter Pan had an island. Never Never land and then there’s the misfit toys they had an island of misfit toys. So really why not. An island for the misfit subs. 

am I the only one that feels like a misfit? Like I don’t belong. Like I’m the weirdest duck ever. 

all of this is so new to me. And what’s worse is I get a definition for something from one person. To only get a whole different definition from someone else. 

“Ugggggggggggggggggggggggggggggghhhhh.......... really. But what freaks me out the most is I think I get it........ I really do....... I think to a degree each definition is in the eye of the beholder. I think people make the definitions work for their own personal lifestyles. How far they’re willing to go. 

I feel like a misfit toy today. Like I don’t belong anywhere. Like no matter how hard I try I won’t make it. I feel defeated. I feel like I don’t care, and like I don’t want to care either. Like I want to tell the whole world to go pound sand up it’s ass. I’m tired emotionally, physically and most definitely mentally. 
I’m tired of being life’s kickball. Like no matter how hard I work or how long I work it just isn’t enough. 
im tired of being alone and feeling alone. I feel like I should have a funeral for my soul mate that I  never got to meet. Maybe it’s my souls funeral I don’t know. BUTT 🤣😂😆” ok made me feel a little better”. Yes my favorite word. 
maybe my whole life has been gods freaking hallmark channel. Ohhh for the love of potatoes it’s been a darn horror movie. 

oh well it’s how I feel for the night. Tomorrow is a new day. Tomorrow I will do the same thing I do everyday. Plan on how to take over the world, Pinky take over the world. Or just my tiny piece of it anyway. 

So hope is not the same for each person it’s different for everyone. Hope is as different as each unique individual person. Hope Is what we as the individual make it. hope can be emotional, material, mental, or even physical. But it is what we the person make it. 
so when I hear people say I give up on hope. What does that mean? Did they give up on themselves? Or did they give up on others. Is it really hope they are giving up on. Or is it giving into disappointment when we don’t get what we want  when we want it? 
I know for me it’s just that because I’m so impatient I have always been wild and unruly with no limits. I have always thought the sky is my limit. 
I am learning patience and it SUCKS!!!!! not going to lie about that. 
But I have learned that that if I look at things at a different point of view at things. Like ok I didn’t get it ugggh why not. Or ok I didn’t get it but maybe there is a reason like it’s not my turn it wasn’t meant to be. 
but I am not going to give up on it I’m not a quitter. I’m going to make it I’m going to get it. I will not stop till I do get it because I want it. Because I deserve it. 
now the greatest gift I have been giving in life is  my faith. I have faith that I will not get disappointed in my hope to get what I want. 

to hope, faith and the ability to believe that it will always be to my best interest.