Devotedsub(sub female){His}

My journey

On my growth

Why NOT to get involved with someone who is married.

3 years ago. October 18, 2020 at 11:06 PM

This blog is going to be quite straight forward and probably could make me look like an ass. I don't care. If this saves someone else the mess I have been through.. I have done the right thing.

So the topic is.. Getting involved with someone who I married. Gee, funny right, I'm married and I'm talking about getting involved with someone who is.

So.. The thing is folks.. If someone is married and out there looking for something and their wife or husband is not on board or ok with it... the relationship will ALWAYS end at some point. I don't care how involved you are, how much you love someone, or how much you trust them. It will always come to an end at some point. They will a. Realize they have been neglecting their marriage and need to make things right b. They will get caught. c. They will get tired of you because you aren't fulfilling what they need out of their partner. Again, this ALWAYS happens eventually.

Something else you must realize when you get involved with someone who is married.. You will NEVER be a priority for them. N-E-V-E-R. Unless they have plans to leave their marriage and can provide proof of the steps taken.. You will never be one. Even if you don't care about this, as they realize they are making a mistake.. You will move lower and lower on their priority list until you're no longer there at all. You are most likely also not their only distraction they are using to escape what ever is going on at home. There will be numerous things that come before you.

Also, if the spouse of the person you are involved with isn't aware.. Think of the spouse... How might you feel if you were them? Would you want your partner lying to you and going behind your back?

If the spouse is going out on their partner behind their backs, think about this please... Can you REALLY trust them? They are deceiving their partner.. What makes you think it won't happen to you?

If you are a married person looking for something, and you have not discussed it with your partner and they have not OK'ed it... Think about your partner, how will they feel if they find out? If there are kids involved, how will they feel? Think of what you will do to the person you are getting involved with outside you marriage..how will they feel when you misuse them and they get hurt? Do you even care? Why are you looking for something else? Are you unhappy? Depressed? Lonely?

They will make you feel bad and make you feel like you screwed up their lives.. Everyone is responsible for their own choices.

How to move on from a relationship with a married person :

Delete. Every single picture you have, video you have from them. Anything at all they sent you, delete it. All of their contacts. Block.

Remember what they put you through. You deserve better.

Focus on you. You need to heal. Let it out. Grieve.

Closure. You probably won't get it. Because they certainly don't care what they did to you... They're busy trying to fix things with their wife or husband. They most likely won't admit they made a mistake.

Forgive yourself. You obviously made a mistake getting involved with them knowing their situation. But you most likely weren't seeing clearly. We all make mistakes.

Move on! As much as you might want to go back and talk to this person and you want them in your life, you can do better than someone who will deceive others and you. Even if you go back and forth and have talked to them since the break up, it doesn't mean it is impossible to move on. Let them go... Have some respect for yourself.

After writing this long blog, if you made it this far, I will tell you why I am leaving the cage. I made a mistake.. Although my husband knows I'm here and have been involved with others , I have been involved with married men and their wives DIDN'T know. I made a mistake, I have learned my lesson. And I don't ever want to go here again. It's not worth it, and I honestly just want away from anything associated with it.

I will keep this blog up for a bit. And then I will leave, I want to give others a chance to read this, in case it can help them and I want a chance to way goodbye to some close friends.

Best of luck in all of your journeys cage friends. Lots of love and I hope you find what is right for you! 💙

-Ds

MelMell(dom female) - I totally understand where you are coming from. I made the same mistake. But he wasn’t married. He just had a vanilla girlfriend that didn’t know he was looking for someone to fulfill his kinks. He ended up choosing his vanilla life over staying with me. Despite saying that things weren’t working out with his gf and that he was willing to come to me with time. The guilt started to eat him alive... and he couldn’t handle the fact I developed really strong feelings towards him.. now I ask any possible subs if they are single or not. If they aren’t single I ask if their partner knows. If their partner doesn’t know then I tell them to look for someone else. I learned my lesson. I forgave myself and him. I’ve moved on.
I do wish you luck and maybe someday you will come back here and who knows, find someone that will be good for you.

3 years ago

Devotedsub(sub female){His} - Thank you hun. And yes always a good idea to ask first and know what you're in for. And go from there.

3 years ago

xGiGix(sub female) - Thank you for this, I’ve been there and you’re so spot on. Never again will I make the same mistake twice, it’s not worth it mentally. I thought I had it all figured out and that I was strong enough to keep us both afloat, to help us through the guilt and shame that comes with it but nope. Ultimately, I was never a priority. All of it’s not worth the toll it takes on you mentally. I’m sorry you made the mistake ☹️ Take the time away to heal 💕 I wish you all the best.

3 years ago

Devotedsub(sub female){His} - Yes, exactly it will tear you down. I'm so so sorry you experienced this too and I hope you are ok now. Thank you for your best wishes 😊

3 years ago

Morley(sub female){Max Sterne} - Ds your blog speaks so MUCH truth and I am sure hits many, myself included.... I always say, BE OPEN and HONEST not just with each other but to yourself and others. I will sorely miss you and your insight and blogs! I hope this is just a break to find YOU and wherever you find you, I hope it is with the love you deserve, the same respect you show others (which is immense) and the beauty in another's sole that reflects your own!

Thank you for being such a great voice here.. your words will stay true and dear to my heart! 🌸💕🌸

3 years ago

Devotedsub(sub female){His} - Thank you so much sweetie. It means a lot to me and I will miss you and your blogs also!

Luckily, I know who I am now. I have come a long way and feel so much better about who I am. I just feel it is best, to completely remove myself from any association because I am better than this crap!

3 years ago

WhatamIfightingfor(dom male) - You will be missed. There are places (in the real world) I don't from the bad experiences associated with them. I only suggest you don't let it cost you the honest, supportive, and constructive relationships in your life. How to achieve that that is a challenge, one I believe you will succeed in doing.

3 years ago

Devotedsub(sub female){His} - It can be difficult to not let it affect those relationships who are indeed good ones. I will miss folks here, a lot. I hope to stay in touch with those who I am close to. They have been there through so much. I certainly refuse to let it affect my home life because they are my heart. Sometimes it's difficult, but we must make decisions that will be best long term.

3 years ago

WhatamIfightingfor(dom male) - I for the most part don't message my female friends privately when they are in a relationship, for if i feel there will be a conflict of interest, or a dispute, i prefer to avoid the issue.

3 years ago

BigBubbles - I have been there. Wasted a year of my life to find out it was a lie and he was using me. I really hate to see you go. I'll miss your blogs. Hopefully it wont be goodbye forever. Take care and good luck with all you do. Hugs💜

3 years ago

Devotedsub(sub female){His} - Geeezzz. I'm sorry hun. Often, you are manipulated into believing they will be there for you forever.. So many things they tell you. So many lies. To get you where they want you. It sucks. But I know I have grown so much having experienced this.

And thank you! I will miss your blogs as well 🤗🤗

3 years ago

Sir Don(dom male){N/A} - I am of the opinion it is her choice and no one can say anything different. Maybe she has had the best experience she could have had and now she things from a different perspective. She knows that she can always come back if she needs to and still be welcomed as a friend..

3 years ago

Devotedsub(sub female){His} - Thank you Don. At this point, I feel I am doing what is in my personal best interest. I appreciate your comment and appreciate your support for and in the community, during my time here.

3 years ago

Sir Don(dom male){N/A} - You are very welcome... just stay true to who you are and be happy

3 years ago

Max Sterne(dom male){Morley} - Very very sorry to see you go. 😟
Those situations can be very tough, and unpredictable. Closure, moving on and giving yourself a fresh start is often the best thing you can do. Don't tempt yourself into looking back. Keep your vision forward into brighter things, and you will reach them if you try.

3 years ago

Devotedsub(sub female){His} - Always forward Max. I will always look forward! Life has much better things in store. Thank you for always being a support!

3 years ago

Max Sterne(dom male){Morley} - Always here for you if you need me. 😊

3 years ago

LaVieEnRose(sub female){Learning } - You have to do what is right for you. There are lots of people who would much rather play games than be real. It’s made me want to give up many many MANY times. I hope you find what you need!

Xx🥀

3 years ago

Devotedsub(sub female){His} - There are, indeed. Was just telling a friend here.. There are good ones, but they are few and far between. The good ones need to stick together! Thank you hun, I hope you find what you need and what is right for you also!

3 years ago

Sweet Raven(sub female) - I have always enjoyed your posts and your approach to life and your uniqueness. I wish you much peace and joy in your journey

3 years ago

Devotedsub(sub female){His} - Thank you hun. All of the best on your journey 😃

3 years ago

nevaeh(sub female){No} - It’s a major turn off for a married man to come to me. If they will screw his wife around bet you’re ass he wil you too. It’s scum and you don’t want that type of bad karmic energy in your life.

3 years ago

You must be registered and signed in to comment

Register Sign in

Devotedsub​(sub female){His}

My journey

Why NOT to get involved with someone who is married.

Devotedsub(sub female){His}