This blog is going to be quite straight forward and probably could make me look like an ass. I don't care. If this saves someone else the mess I have been through.. I have done the right thing.
So the topic is.. Getting involved with someone who I married. Gee, funny right, I'm married and I'm talking about getting involved with someone who is.
So.. The thing is folks.. If someone is married and out there looking for something and their wife or husband is not on board or ok with it... the relationship will ALWAYS end at some point. I don't care how involved you are, how much you love someone, or how much you trust them. It will always come to an end at some point. They will a. Realize they have been neglecting their marriage and need to make things right b. They will get caught. c. They will get tired of you because you aren't fulfilling what they need out of their partner. Again, this ALWAYS happens eventually.
Something else you must realize when you get involved with someone who is married.. You will NEVER be a priority for them. N-E-V-E-R. Unless they have plans to leave their marriage and can provide proof of the steps taken.. You will never be one. Even if you don't care about this, as they realize they are making a mistake.. You will move lower and lower on their priority list until you're no longer there at all. You are most likely also not their only distraction they are using to escape what ever is going on at home. There will be numerous things that come before you.
Also, if the spouse of the person you are involved with isn't aware.. Think of the spouse... How might you feel if you were them? Would you want your partner lying to you and going behind your back?
If the spouse is going out on their partner behind their backs, think about this please... Can you REALLY trust them? They are deceiving their partner.. What makes you think it won't happen to you?
If you are a married person looking for something, and you have not discussed it with your partner and they have not OK'ed it... Think about your partner, how will they feel if they find out? If there are kids involved, how will they feel? Think of what you will do to the person you are getting involved with outside you marriage..how will they feel when you misuse them and they get hurt? Do you even care? Why are you looking for something else? Are you unhappy? Depressed? Lonely?
They will make you feel bad and make you feel like you screwed up their lives.. Everyone is responsible for their own choices.
How to move on from a relationship with a married person :
Delete. Every single picture you have, video you have from them. Anything at all they sent you, delete it. All of their contacts. Block.
Remember what they put you through. You deserve better.
Focus on you. You need to heal. Let it out. Grieve.
Closure. You probably won't get it. Because they certainly don't care what they did to you... They're busy trying to fix things with their wife or husband. They most likely won't admit they made a mistake.
Forgive yourself. You obviously made a mistake getting involved with them knowing their situation. But you most likely weren't seeing clearly. We all make mistakes.
Move on! As much as you might want to go back and talk to this person and you want them in your life, you can do better than someone who will deceive others and you. Even if you go back and forth and have talked to them since the break up, it doesn't mean it is impossible to move on. Let them go... Have some respect for yourself.
After writing this long blog, if you made it this far, I will tell you why I am leaving the cage. I made a mistake.. Although my husband knows I'm here and have been involved with others , I have been involved with married men and their wives DIDN'T know. I made a mistake, I have learned my lesson. And I don't ever want to go here again. It's not worth it, and I honestly just want away from anything associated with it.
I will keep this blog up for a bit. And then I will leave, I want to give others a chance to read this, in case it can help them and I want a chance to way goodbye to some close friends.
Best of luck in all of your journeys cage friends. Lots of love and I hope you find what is right for you! 💙
-Ds
