On February 23rd, Sir and I sat on the floor of our hotel shower with the water raining down on our backs. We’d just finished a very long play session; our first including sadomasochistic play together (he put clothes pins all over my body and squeezed the hell out of them while he pleasured me in various ways – oh the memories *breaks out in goose bumps*). I sat between his legs with my back to his chest. His hands were on my thighs and his chin was on my shoulder. We were talking about our childhoods and our past relationships and the things that have molded us and made us who we are today. He asked me the question that we’ve all asked ourselves at some point or another. Why do you choose this role? What person or event made you want to be a submissive in a D/s relationship?
I had pondered this when I first started to realize my “unusual” wants and needs; when I discovered the taboo world of BDSM and realized this community felt comfortable to me. I was luckier than some are, because my answer came easily; I need a relationship where the man tells me exactly what he needs me to do to make him happy. I’ll do it; anything, whatever it is. And I need him to be genuinely pleased when I do.
Basically I have the stereotypical Daddy issues. A biological father who cares so much about his next high that he never bothered to know his children. A step father who never showed affection and regardless of what you did, he didn’t seem to even notice you were there. A second sadistic step father who’s only pleasure was his step daughter’s tears. And an ex-husband who chose work and hobbies over his family and never wanted to come home.
The relationships (or lack thereof) with these men built the version of the woman I am today. A woman who just wants to be loved. A woman who craves her man’s attention. A woman who needs her man to tell her she’s good, and smart, and pretty. A woman who just wants to please.
I asked Sir the same question in return. His answer was also fairly textbook, but it’s his story to share so I won’t do that here.
Who or what made you into a Dom or sub? Do you know? Were you just born that way or were you molded into this version of yourself?
=^.^=
