I do believe in soulmates.
However, in my personal belief system, this label is applied to something different.
I, too, am aware of "The Symposium" when Plato had Aristophanes discuss the origin of humans as having a head with two faces and four arms and four legs. And for a long, long time I, too, ascribed that to the label of soulmates.
However, as with every life, shit happened.
Even setting aside all of the various people that I'd felt a soul-deep connection with that had then fallen out of touch, torn away from each other by this rushing torrent that we call life, I met a soulmate and married her.
And the story is supposed to go, "and we lived happily ever after."
But, this is no fairy tale. Not even as originally jotted down by the Brothers Grimm. It is life.
And I felt the soul wound as I held the empty chrysalis of my soulmate and screamed my pain and rage at our bedroom ceiling and the heavens beyond.
Frankly, at first, the only thing that kept me from following after was the dog and three cats that she left for me to watch over until the end of their days.
A few months later, I was unfortunate enough to meet the woman (in this incarnation) that I firmly believe is my Twin Flame.
We told each other our history and as we did, we each knew the history of the other even before it was told as if it were a memory. And, more, the fourth picture she ever shared with me rang my soul like a bell as I recognized the girl and woman that I had dreamed for over four decades. There was more. Much more than I care to try to enumerate at this point. Hell, I could have used us as a checklist!
I really couldn't say just what she might believe as she never once answered my queries on the subject, either subtle or not-so-subtle, as I fought tooth and nail for what I believed we were supposed to be for each other. But, she has other soulmates that she is committed to in this life. She has made that very clear. And even if she wasn't committed to them, I just flat do not appeal to her romantically.
Upset, angry, and not a little puzzled that I could have been so wrong, I went on a research binge.
And what I found shook my belief system to the core.
Twin Flames, what Plato was describing, are actually very rarely good romantic matches.
In fact, it is typically only in their last iteration, once the "runner" has grown enough, that they come together perfectly (although, not always non-platonically) as a signal that they have achieved all that they may on this wheel and are ready to transcend to the next level.
Perhaps fortunately, there was a different definition of soulmates that spoke to my core and shored up my fragile shattered heart.
It seems that over the course of the lives we have led, we create soulbonds with many people. Soul debts or karmic debts in some cases. And these soulmates are often better suited romantic partners, lovers, and even platonic friends than our Twin Flame.
***shrug***
I don't ask anyone to believe as I do. And am perfectly content to know that many who might read this would roll their eyes and think it "malarky" concocted to give a tired old man some glimmer of hope to hold onto on cold, dark nights.
And, perhaps that is all it is.
However, I know what I believe.
I believe I was married to one of my soulmates.
I believe I was engaged to other soulmates, lovers with others, and platonic friends with still others.
I believe I have met my Twin Flame in this iteration and it did not work. I regretted the time I had spent looking for her. But, at least once I identified her, I was able to turn my back on that Aristophonean dream.
Which is just as well as I went on to meet another soulmate who was also reeling from the loss of her spouse and a soulmate for her, who I couldn't love more, treasure more, value more. Who is much more suited for me, and me for her, than any other we'd stumbled into in the time since we'd buried the loves of our lifetimes.
And in each other, we found a healing balm for our soul wounds and happily ever after.
For now.
Again.
