Sometimes you have to be broken to be made whole
Sometimes you have to experience your fear to find your security
Sometimes you have to have your heart shattered to realize what once made it whole
Sometimes you have to hurt to find healing
I had something happened to me in the Vanilla world and it has me shattered. Absolutely broken. Not knowing which way is up. I am partly to blame for it and I cant explain my actions. I cant explain what happened. And right now I cant find any truth. I sit here fragile and broken.....wondering if I will ever feel whole again. Wondering if I even want to be whole again because once whole it means I can be broken.
The only light I can see in this darkness is the place I wanted to run for comfort is BDSM and this community. The hard thing is.. .right now I dont even feel like I deserved to be owned, controlled, or dominated. Today is a hard day...and i can only hope it last just for a moment.
