So Daddy was gone all weekend and I felt myself slip beyond bratty into defiance and a world where I was in control and making bad decisions. I just dont know what to do. Daddy has to travel for buisness... I cant stop that from happening. But how do I deal with the ongoing longing for him when he is gone without rebelling out of anger.
It's like I feel hurt when he is gone. Abandoned. Alone. And I lash out by rebelling which only hurts myself and me and Daddys dynamic. I'm almost glad he is coming tomorrow to punish me because I long to get back on course. I feel lost where I am now. Rules have been washed away by rebellion and I feel off center. Goals I was working towards I'm now farther from and I feel like the version of myself I hated before BDSM and Daddy.
I need a find a way to cope with the longing. Realize Daddy doesnt want to leave me. And be a good princess when he is away. But it's so hard because it hurts to not have him here and I want to not obey. Literally break every rule to idk...force him to stay. But that's not realistic and not okay. But it's hard to just sit with the longing..ideas would be appreciated. Love yall. Wish me luck when Daddy comes home tomorrow.....I got a lot of explaining to do.
