Master and the Sub

Master has been thinking a lot about life lately, the past, the present and the future. Things are beginning to change and I am hopeful but scared of change. As I look in the mirror now days I see me but not the person I once was, strong full of energy, capable of fighting the world. Now I can no longer do things I used to, I have the mind set but my body has been beaten , damaged by the life I have lived. As I look in the mirror I see a man that has raised his kids to be strong and independent like me, I never ask for help even though every fiber in your soul want's it. A person, that loves to the point his heart has been damaged more than the bullet that ripped through this body, taking out organs and leaving scars that will always show the life I have had. As I stand here looking in the mirror I question why would anyone ever want a scarred, broken person like me? I know this is the wrong attitude to have because I am surrounded by family and friends that care and love me but the life I have had makes me question my own thoughts. I have plenty of love to give, but my mind wonders why would anyone love me, this has caused me to push people away, those who may have loved me. I ask myself why do I do this, because I still listen to those voices that have been stuck in my head since I was young. I must fight harder against the demon I created to protect me so I may feel love like I have always wanted. One day at a time is what all of the wonderful friends here have said so I will listen not to him but to those that care even though we have never physically met. To my friends here, I want to say this, thank you for all you have said, thank you for not being like those other's in my life, and thanks for the love I have always wanted to feel.