I’m such a conundrum.
A mixed bag of emotions and desires.
I want wildness, yet I crave the serene.
I want colorful explosions,
and I want to stay in bed all day.
I want my mind warped in all the right ways, yet I want to be sure of myself.
I want to run amuck,
making a complete mess of things,
and I also want to live a nice, tidy life.
I want to lay eyes on parts of the world
which make no sense to me,
but I also want a home that’s so warm
I never want to leave.
I want threadbare luggage
and a worn-out passport,
but I also want to drink coffee with the same group of friends at the same time and place each day.
I want adventure, but I want consistency.
I want the unfamiliar, and to form a routine.
I long for opposite sides of the spectrum, polarities, and feeling out of place.
But I also want to stop running for once
and enjoy the heavens already around me. There’s a part of me that will always be a junkie, in love with the adrenaline rush.
And there’s a part of my heart that only wants to rest and beat slowly.
I found happiness once I stopped trying to live somewhere in between
and tearing myself in two.
I am both things - a proud anomaly who gave wings to my hypocrisies, allowing even the misunderstood parts to be true.
J. Raymond
"Not In Between, But Both"
Poem from The Kindred Project: Vol. II
