So I havent been on here in a while due to life. But I just figured I might as well write this because I'm confused.
I have never been in a vanilla or even none violent relationship and I have found myself in one. I'm happy it's not violent and we have great communication. The sex is good and he always takes care of my needs before his own. But I miss being used, punished, choked, handled, and restrained.
I dont know how to express this to him as he has not ever been in this type of relationship. Nor have I ever had to explain to someone these needs. Usually I just end up with someone who already has experience and we just go over limits and such.
He claims he is open to trying new things as I am open about my past relationships. But I dont know how to even bring it up or "use my words" for lack of a better explanation. I feel guilty and selfish for wanting him to do things to me, as he is the sweetest most gentle person I've ever met. But in saying that the aftercare thoughts makes me want it that much more.
I'm sure if we talked about it he would try it, but what if he doesnt like it? I'm scared of how it could effect our relationship and I try so hard not to mess things up with us because I am happy. He doesnt make me feel insecure, he understands my crazy life, and works with me on my bad mental days. Ugh!!!!
At least I feel better for finally getting it off my chest.
