How can anyone come along and keep up with you, wanting you to submit and hand over control, expect you to just relinquish it all and believe that they know better than you. Can do more, do better, fix and calm and BE all that you are lacking in your world?
When every little bit, piece part of you has wanted nothing more that to let go and surrender, but every inch of your life has been an endless fight with tooth and nail to just get by and MAKE it to where you are in the first place. Because life just works that way and you have no choice but to deal with it and move on before it deals with you.
Sure, you can say to take a breath and just surrender to it, but what happens when you do that and they inevitably fall behind, lose pace, or wander off for “greener pastures?”.
Keep in mind oh ye Domly one, that all this time she has gone along, done it all and managed thus far without hide nor hair from you or yours. If there was a one who could be what you suggest why then has it taken so long and why has she still been on this journey all along instead of sheltered in his arms safe from the storm. All this talk of dashing princes riding in to save their damsel in distress, these pre conceived ideas, ideals and imaginings that you have in your hands, held out like jewels so bright and shiny in the light, to be swept away in the first wind to blow.
She’s heard it all before, those pretty words all said, and those empty hollow promises made. Every breath, every thought, and each hope drifting away on the wind.
It is not the words she seeks, but the actions. You can say naught but follow through. What good is it to speak hot air and blow out all your intentions but not spur yourself into action and follow through on your convictions? What can be worse than waiting and wondering how much is true, how must can be believed and trusted…if or when he will follow through?
You must remember every word she hears is shadowed in doubt, held up and scrutinized to find holes and flaws, because each one before you has set her on her guard. A little more, a little higher, with every trick and every glib word, sly polished tongue. These have all taught her to see you in a tainted light, and both of you shall bear the brunt of all the prior damage done.
It’s not a choice, it’s a matter of survival, and how can you even begin to expect or hope to have her let you in, to even consider you worthy, if you don’t do the most basic and fundamental parts like begin to communicate, to get to know her inside and out? How can you be worthy of control and her submissiveness if you do not first seek to know what you would control?
There is a simple truth that cannot be overlooked. Life is like a story, to be delved in to and explored, page by beautiful page and word for wondrous word. Some love to read, others skim over pages or skip right to the end. Then then are those that always “wait for the movie”.
But you’ll never know the whole story or be able to appreciate the depths of the characters and how they come alive if you don’t read it and get lost in the beautiful world with all its magic and adventures.
Every part of her is a piece of that story, a puzzle that needs to be put back together gently one piece at a time before the whole can be seen and the beautiful picture admired and seen for its truth and glory.
Make no mistake, she wants, and wishes and hopes that one day she too will have the love and joy she sees shared between those lucky enough to have found their stories found and shared, their mysteries and depths explored and seen, understood and embraced by another.
The longing and desire are not sated but rather hidden deep inside where all the secrets and mysteries that her are wait to be discovered and brought to life once again, by the breath of love and its soft, lingering touch.
As was so eloquently said by the beautiful SirsBabyDoll :
A house is not a house without a solid foundation. So to a person. That foundation is constructed with time and experience (I almost wrote sex-sperience). Sometimes, when there is enough bombardment from outside forces, that foundation gets cracked and damaged. You can either demolish the house (death) or you can reconstruct the foundation. It'll look messy. It'll look unstable. It'll take forever because it is a slow process. But once it is done, you can rebuild the landscape and enjoy your safe, warm, peaceful home once again.
