Sometimes it’s a bitter pill to swallow when you realize that not everyone is on the same level or sees things the same way as you. That something which to you is blatantly clear and shooting off bright neon warning signs, or the proverbial red flag, to others is merely a blip or a shadow. You never know when to give warning or hold your tongue, speak up or bide your time and hope you were in error. You wish with all your might that what seems like patterns are just pretty designs and clever coincidence. Until you realize they are indeed not, and you were right once again.
To have an empaths spirit, a giving open heart and a healers soul means you deeply feel the urge and need to reach out and shelter, protect, defend, and ultimately be a provider for those around you, the warrior, the mother, the nurse, the guide, the teacher, the scholar, the friend…anything that helps them in their time of need.
You also need to learn that you do not control much of anything, and even though you ache and pain and yearn to take away all that ails them, you know that it is their struggle and path and that even though they want help, they may not want or need YOUR help, no matter how much they profess otherwise.
I am well aware that we cannot travel on another’s journey for them, and that each have their own lessons and tasks in their life, but to know the difference between a cry for help as a necessity or desire, and be able to determine if it is a lifeline VS doing them a disservice…this is a thin sharp line with a very steep drop on either side, one of the hardest tightropes to ever walk.
I long ago learnt that not every cry for help is genuine, and not everyone wants from you the things they say, or the things they “think” they need. I learnt to tell the difference by hearing the words they say (and the ones that are left unsaid) and how these words align with actions, behavior and intentions. This has yet to fail me, although truth be told I often do not like the results.
It is through many a heartache, trauma and shattering of my self on this journey that I come to see the patterns and the cycles now repeat, bringing in full circle some of the hardest and most difficult times I’ve seen thus far. And it shows me that although I may be able to soldier through from these things and forge ahead to the other side, not everyone is able, willing or capable of doing those things. Whether it is by choice or an inability for whatever reason does not matter. The result is still the same, it means that with a heaviness of heart it’s time to let go and let this cycle complete itself so I can move on and stop being held back on my journey.
I an a loner, this has always been true, not by choice but default on my journeys and adventures. I have those I hunt with and join when there is opportunity, but I will ever and always be my own. Alpha, ready to do what I must I order to survive and flourish. I do not bow to those around me because to me we are all in our own ways equal, balanced and in our unique and special ways compliment one another in a glorious and amazing way.
And I will always be the watcher, the seeker, the hunter searching for my home and my personal truth. I go where the wind blows me, along mountains, through rivers, across oceans and distant shores, learning, growing, and exploring as I follow my spirits call.
I love, honor and respect all those I meet on my travels and even though there is heartache and pain, there is also so much love and joy.
So with awe, gratitude and amazement in my heart right now I pray for love, happiness and joy for those I have been blessed to come across.
