The Chimera's Whispers

Now, a few things before I even begin.

 

1. It's 5:30 in the morning, and I'm feeling "Semi-human" after battling a migraine for most of my Friday night/ Saturday morning. So please excuse me if my writing is... Sub-par, or a bit disjointed.
   After all, this is a rambling in the morning when I am very muchso not a morning person. (Master can attest to this.)
2. This blog post is my thoughts and opinions. Nothing more. This is not a post to incite arguments, or down on anyone's preferences, dynamics, relationships, etc...
3. This blog is by no means a political platform. In short. Don't pick fights and don't be a jerkbag. As I disclosed with point 1. These are merely my thoughts and opinions on my personal blog.

 

I have a no-nonsense attitude towards the 3 points above. if I see anyone acting like an asshole, or trying to start drama, or pick a fight, or just be rude in my comment section; they're getting their comments removed and those users may be potentially blocked depending on the severity of the situation.

 

Essentially - having more than one partner in a sexual or romantic relationship is the gist of the meaning in today's world; pretty much.  Personally, I've seen beautiful success stories, and I've also seen abhorrent nightmares involving these types of relationships.Regrettably, it's commonly the latter of the two that's the end result. 

Key point I've seen in a Polygamous relationship that I've witnessed kept the relationship alive and going - was firstly. Communication, communication, communication. Much like BDSM, I've seen couples talk about things. Discuss partners they do or do not like/sleep with/spend time with. Sometimes it's a triad where both the primary couple have a relationship with the other person/people involved.
Or, it's set to where- Girlfriend has a girlfriend and boyfriend. Boyfriend has a second girlfriend of his own - etc. etc.  There's a lot of variations you can get from that. And one of the primaries doesn't have a relationship with the others involved. 

 

Leading in with that. A lot of the horror-stories I've witnessed with friends is that one will not communicate to the other(s). So suddenly. Surprise girlfriend is involved, or surprise non-binary partner appears. (I include non-binaries and trans in my posts too. I like to include everyone, not just boys and girls.) and that's due to a breakdown of communication. Often times- because 1 partner just refuses, forgets, or tries to act sneaky about who they're seeing. Which, in the end, is cheating.
---and yes, it's cheating if you're trying to SNEAK a partner into your relationship or hide them from your other partner.---

The other thing I've seen is the openness and overall- trust given in one another. Everyone trusts one another. I've seen horror-stories where someone doesn't trust others and it causes rifts, discordance, and makes waves in the relationship(s). That, or insecurities flare and cause the same thing. Paranoia, and anxiety run rampant.

 The thing that boggles my mind is Polygamy within BDSM.
When someone has multiple Dom(mes) or subs, or both... How does that play out?  I'd imagine everyone would talk with one another and communicate, set boundaries, etc.
Just from personal experience of having 1 Dom. I find I have my hands full. Having 2+ Dom(mes) I know would stress me out, and be too much on my plate. (Again, this is me. For others this might be just right.)
But what if one Dominant tells you.  "I don't want you orgasming for a week." and then the other says. "I want to use my property tonight, and I'm going to make you cum repeatedly."  As mentioned- communication is a major key factor in the BDSM world. So that naturally I figure would go hand in hand in a polygamous relationship. Certainly.  
Do the two Doms have a sit down and chat it out?
At what point does that become cumbersome? (I imagine at some point it might be when 2+ orders are given and there's a conflict of interest, which WILL happen eventually.)

Or flipping that on it's head- When a Dom has 1+ subs. A Dom usually dedicates a great deal of time and effort to their submissive. (Depending on the dynamic of course.)
At what point does juggling multiple submissives become tricky? Especially if both are volleying for your attention.
Are you ok with your Doms/subs having relationships with eachother? Are you not?

If not, when does THAT become an issue? Especially if one Dom is not in contact with the other? (Or when one sub is not in contact with the other?)

Perhaps those above questions are just my personal ignorance showing- since I am not involved in Polygamy. I am Monogamous.  It's a lot to think about. I've wondered such things when I witness polygamous relationships/dynamics on TheCage, Fetlife, IRL, etc.


Personally- 1 Dominant is enough for me. I'm far too bratty and too much of a wildcard to really take orders from more than one Dominant. I'm pretty sure I'd NEVER get out of trouble/punishment. (And not "funishments" either. True punishments.)

Stepping away from those questions. I've seen some instances where some Dom(mes) and subs just seem to "collect" people. That too boggles my mind... Like. People are not trading cards/coins/easter eggs/toyko fun-pop figurines... People are not "collectable."

I've seen brackets expand across my screen with 3+ names before.
Often times those names change rapidly. I'll look one week and there's 2 names, then I look the next week and there's 2 more names added in.  Then, if I look another week, those names drop or there's more added.

Honestly, I get when some relationships bloom, others don't work/fall away. Often times when I see the above of rapidly adding/dropping names, it's moreso for bragging rights. Essentially "Look at how many people I can be with! Look at all my pretty shinies!" Like I mentioned- people aren't collectables...
Where I majorly have a problem, is when someone tries to collect people with little to no regard for others feelings, thoughts, boundaries, etc. I've seen a couple of instances where someone "Collects" another person, then ignores them or just "drops" them because they are no longer the shiny new penny.

I've seen the term "Velcro collar" tossed around in the community before. Does that terminology become apt in those situations of someone collecting people like so or rapidly adding and/or subtracting names like so? After all, everyone has their own style, flow, fetishes, kinks, and flavor in the lifestyle of BDSM. Is that any different?

Moving into more of my own personal bias/opinions as opposed to open questions above.

I am not polygamous. (Obviously.) I'm monogamous. I have considered trying polygamy in the past; but after personal self-evaluation, thought, and examination. I determined that I am not cut out to be polygamous.
I know for a fact that I am/can be: jealous, insecure, territorial, protective, cynical, and even a bit untrusting towards others. None of those things would ever be good in a polygamous relationship. Especially the insecurities and jealousy.

"But Chimera, those aren't good in a monogamous relationship either." <-- you're absolutely right. However, I DO build trust with single people. I do not open myself easily to large groups of people. I'm reserved, and thus. I keep such things private. I can build trust with another person, and work with them on my insecurities.

"Chimera.... You can do that with multiple people too." Yes, you're right about that too. I certainly can. But, I also don't like "groups" as much as others do. Honestly, dealing with more than 1 person sometimes is...Exhausting.   Much like a cat, I tend to get a "Favorite person."  I feel safe with 1 person, as opposed to many. 
For me, if I'm in a relationship with someone. I want to be a focal point in their world. A precious gem that's theirs and only theirs; I like the exclusivity. Just like they would be to me. This is just my personal preference.

Tying into BDSM?
My personal thought process when a Dom boasts to me. "I have multiple subs!" or a sub boasts "I have multiple Doms!" is that you don't have enough time or dedication to just 1 person. When you don't have that time/dedication, you don't give your FULL attention/effort/time to any 1 person. For me, how is that ever a good thing in a dynamic?
If anything, I begin to wonder if they're "collecting" people just to have that ability to be like "Look at how many shinies I have!!!!" 

And yes- before anyone comes for my head, I understand this is a very shitty outlook on others. And I don't always think that way. It's circumstantial. Frankly, if you're trying to "Boast" to me about your dynamic/relationship to begin with, already it's going to strike some negative chords because people who often times brag, or try to "Show off" just leave a bad impression with me.  "Love does not boast." as I've heard it said.

Overall, in the end of this ranty, weird, disjointed blogpost.
If a relationship/dynamic makes you happy? Then please. Be happy! Regardless of what my thoughts/opinions are. Those are irrelevant to your happiness.  As long as you are *not* maliciously hurting yourself or others - then you do your thing!

I forgot this was partially finished in my drafts - One morning as I awoke and did my Mantra. It dawned on me that Master and I have been together for a year.  Dating back to 7/16/19 is when we moved forwards into our consideration phase. (I actually found the old Discord conversation haha)  In Feb, I moved from consideration to his training collar.
I'm ever curious and excited to see what the future will bring us.
Anywho-- here's the draft I had below. Excuse any weird typos and such if they're present since it was originally typed on my phone.

 

As I sit here this morning, thinking over the last year I'm surprised at how rapidly things changed. In a simple span of 12 months I now am sitting in another state I've never been in before, adoringly listening to the sleep breathing and soft snores of someone I'd of never of guessed I'd be in a relationship with.
But I wouldn't change that for an instant.

Reflecting over the year, I realize I've grown, I've learned, and I've evolved more and more with gentle guiding hands [Or a firm ass-slap.] I've moved several paces forwards from where I once was. It's surprising when I really reflect back on it.

 

I've made mushy posts before, so I think I'll keep this one short.  It's been a hell of a year, and I'm eager for more. Dunno how long this road will go, but I'm happy to follow the curves and paths that lie ahead.

Cheers~

-The Chimera

During my stay with Master - we didn't do as much BDSM shenanigans like our previous visits. Though, I figured I'd write about some of our antics that were had while I was there.

So, for those who haven't guessed yet... I'm a bit of a brat. (and I know some of you are going 'YA DON'T SAY?!?'...Smartasses~) I usually will pull bratty antics to get Master to think fast on his feet, or to laugh.  After all. Master's subbie has a brain, she likes to use it. If you're not careful, I might outsmart you.

This time around I took a much more direct approach.

chimera: "Master~♥"
Ash: "Hmm..?"
chimera: *Puffs up proudly* "I'm the boss!!"

Ash: *Chuckles* "Oh, you're adorable..."

chimera: *Nods* "I'm the boss!!! I wear the pants this this relationship!"
...Then Master stood up to grab me, I danced back.
He grabbed the flogger and I ran to the bathroom - he chased me into the bathroom with the flogger.... Lol!

 

 

Another evening, Master was taking a shower after me, and I decided to move fast! I switched my collars from my day collar to my normal one, then I pulled on my restraints, I set out the toys I brought in my suitcase out neatly so Master could pick and choose what he wanted. (Even the toys I dislike.) I clipped my leash on to my collar and as I heard him get out of the shower, I knelt by the bed and brought my hands up, offering him the end of the leash.

I didn't look up at him, I kept my eyes to the floor. I watched his feet slow in steps and approach. His voice dropped in tone, as it usually does when aroused. "Well... What do we have here?" he asked and I felt a shiver crawl it's way down my back. As he took my leash, he told me to follow him. We walked back to the bathroom and he had me stand by the door while he finished washing up. He had come out to check on me and discovered me kneeling.

When he was finished, he lead me out to the bed and unclipped my leash and had me crawl onto the bed. After becoming quite reacquainted with stingy, thuddy, and snappy toys- we began to dabble into breath-play. I've been mildly curious of it, but I know Master really enjoys breath play. We reviewed our safe words/safe gestures (If I'm incapable to speak I gesture) and he looped the leash around my neck. He told me to make sure the leash stayed in a certain area so I wouldn't potentially get tracheal damage.

From there, Master had his way with me. Leaving me literally breathless for a few moments. 

 

It's not as elaborate as some of my past posts, but I figured I'd still share~

Cheers,
Chimera

 

 

 

Well... Here I am again. I made it back safely. Now that I'm not dead-tired and lagging, I'll actually- you know. Post a blog or two.


Visiting Master, it was a lot of fun. Truthfully, this time around we didn't do too much BDSM stuff like our previous visits. Don't worry, shenanigans were had- just not to the same extent as previous visits. I'll make a separate blog post about that for readers delight.

I was content to just be near him this time. Take a break from my usual hub-bub and slow down. Take a breather. Truthfully, I needed the break. It was nice to just take a couple weeks to myself, slow down, sleep in, just be.
I'm thankful to Master for allowing me that time. It's reassuring to know that we both can enjoy one anothers company outside of our dynamic and outside of the bedroom.

Truthfully, some of the blogposts I've read in the past - that's the only foundation and connection there is within the relationship/dynamic. Sex, sex, sex, some banter, BDSM, kink, sex. But outside of that? Not much else. 
((Like always, I completely understand if that's the boundaries placed/parameters placed within someone else's dynamic. Not to discredit, put down, or "shit" on someone else's relationship. If it makes you happy, and you aren't maliciously hurting people/yourself; then by all means.  Your kink is not my kink.))

I was able to cook a bit for Master as well, and it made me happiest to see he likes my cooking. Being a typical "Southern Girl" to a degree I find a good home cooked meal can just... Put everything/everyone at ease. And being able to watch Master not only eat something healthy, but tasty, and will help him relax. It's wonderful.

Nonetheless, I liked Arizona... It was hotter than blazes, the mountain ranges still freak me out (Florida is very flat,) and it still weirds me out how people have their houses perched precariously on top of steep mountainous hills-- Outside of Master, not much waits for me in AZ.
The primary reason I'll be back, is to see him.

 

With the sweets, comes the sours too.
This time around, it was me heading off to catch my plane. It was much harder on Master to watch me walk away from him. A few times at the airport; he'd grab my hand and pull me back.  Just one more hug. One more kiss. Just one more minute... Anything to have a little more time together. Even for a moment.

 

Readers, it's getting more and more difficult to be away from him. Every "See you later" (Because I absolutely refuse to say goodbye. Goodbye is too final for me.) is getting harder and harder.  we both cried off and on the last 2 days I was there with him.  It's scary to a point, because I've been in a long distance relationship before. Hell, my last one was nearly 10 years.  And truthfully? It didn't hurt this much to leave him like so when going back home.

 

I woke up in my own bed this morning and I cried before I did my morning mantra Master has me do every day before waking up and before bed. I managed to get through my mantra without breaking down, but I had to sit on my bed and cry again. It's not the same.
There's comfort in my own bed, my own blankets, hell even my own scent. But I miss him already. I miss how he'd sleepily crack an eye open and watch me do my mantra, or how he'd sleepily pull me back into him while I sat on the edge of the bed and checked my phone in the morning, hell, even the scent of him when I'd nestle in behind him and be the big spoon while he slept.


The first day away from him is the hardest. I feel disjointed, incomplete, and even a little lost.  I'm thinking I might curl back up in bed awhile... Between the jetlag, and the depression, I just want to fade away for a little bit.

 

Yaaaaay!!!

 

Yesterday was a nice, lazy day for Master and I. We just stayed in the airbnb and slept in super late. 

For food I put some pork tenderloin in the crockpot with carrots, onion, a wide range of spices, and garlic and let it cook for hours.

Truthfully the broth tasted weaker than piss... I realized I made an error. 

I used beef broth instead of beef stock... beef stock is richer. More flavorful.

So back to the grocery store we went. I got beef stock and we got icy hot for my leg. 

 

So I'm happy that worked out. I revamped the soup and it's now DAMN good. I added potatoes and mushrooms to it near the end. Tasty.

However by the time it was ready, it was late. Like past 12am late.

Master had been kind enough to buy us Chinese food for dinner. I hadn't had Panda Express since I was a kid! I've been to other Chinese food places, but Panda Express isn't really available in my area. Our fortune cookies were amazing. They were meant for us!

Mine read: "Confide in a trustworthy person."

His read: "You are the definition of trustworthy."

Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat?!

Nuts!!!!

 

As we sat after devouring Chinese food and waited for the soup to cool -- [[I pulled the porcelain liner out of the crockpot and was letting everything cool off before putting it away in the fridge. I didn't want the porcelain liner to crack from the intense temperature change, nor did I want bacteria growing in the soup I had worked so hard to make.

Being in an Airbnb, these kitchen items aren't mine and I am meticulous, I don't want to break or damage anything.]]-- we got onto the topic of Past relationships, Pro-life vs pro-choice and religion. Conversation with me tends to be a rollercoaster ride. We go all over the place.

It started off with discussion of past relationshits we've had. Both of us had been in 7+ year relationshits before. We reflect back on the past a lot because we learned from it. We take those lessons with us into the future.  He mentioned something traumatic that had happened to his ex while their relationship was falling apart. [Not my place to say what or give details.] And it stayed with him.

It directed us to the discussion of pro-life vs pro-choice. Master and I have different views. His religious beliefs and his personal opinions/views, he leans towards pro-life. My personal opinions and beliefs, I more lean towards pro-choice. We both gave our opinions and thoughts to why we believe such then moved on to the next topic.

The reason I won't delve deeper detail on our discussion is because my blog isn't a political stand nor is it a debate forum. I'm not leaving it open for discussion from the public reading this blog.

In other words:  Keep your opinions to yourself. This isn't the place to discuss it with me, nor is my inbox. 

 

Master and I discussed religion and our religious beliefs/views to one another.  I'm Pagan and yes, I do believe in Witchcraft. [Won't disclose Master's religion since that's his business.] He and I are almost opposites in these regards. I'm thankful and appreciative that he is open minded enough to not only LISTEN about my religious beliefs, but to also learn of them, and even ask questions! I try to do the same for him and his beliefs.

He's had a few experiences that are Pagan and unnatural, he says he can't discredit those experiences. I am encouraging him to do research into Druidism. Some of the things he does and says is very Druid-like and follow along the lines of Druidism.

Master is at his own crossroads with his beliefs and religion. He wants to keep his faith in one, but can't devalue or dismiss the oddities/happenings he's experienced from the other, nor can he credit such to his God.  It's a difficult crossroad he's standing at. Being such polar opposites, meshing both together is... contradictory and potentially impossible to do.

Be it one way, or another. I'll support him and his choices~

 

We didn't really get into kinky sex yesterday. Moreso just enjoyed one another's company. Which I find equally important. Even with tough and difficult subjects I generally avoid talking about with others.

 

Until next time,

 

Cheers!

- TheChimera

I'm not the best with giving massive, play by play blogs without a computer.

I'm on my phone, and my drawing tablet is beginning to show it's age. It's having issues and can't keep up. Makes me a little sad. But it's about 6+ years old... for how long I've had it and how frequently I use it [daily] it's sturdy and durable as hell.

 

The heat here is incredible. If I had to compare Arizona heat to Florida heat, I'd say AZ is like when you first open an oven and that hard hot blast of dry heat hits you. Oppressive.

FL heat is when you pull a big comforter blanket from the dryer mid-cycle and wrap yourself in it. It's sticky wet heat.

Invasive.

 

I'm pretty proud of myself-- for those who don't know, I like to cook. I still have a lot to learn, but I have a knack for it.

As a late lunch yesterday, I made breakfast sammiches with toast, eggs spiced with curry, bacon, cheese, and home-potatoes with roasted garlic  on the side. [[As best as a Southern girl can cook with a hot plate/single burner.]]

Master enjoyed it immensely, then we both went into a food coma. Master passed out and slept it off for a few hours haha~

For the end of our late night of discussions, kink, and cuddles, I got Master to watch Flashdance for the first time.

After he whispered to me about his dreams and other things as we fell asleep. It was a little solemn, but sweet.

 

I dunno how, but I somehow shredded the muscles in my right leg. I suspect running around and the rental car I have is doing it. Whoever owns the mini coop. How the fuck y'all driving?! The damn brake pedal is UP HIGH off the ground, whereas the gas pedal is on the floor. It's so weird!!

My car at home- both pedals are on the floor. Friggin' tiny ass car has such a weird setup. I've started calling it "Zippy" because of the pick-up and go it has! Barely touch the gas and the car careens forward excitedly. [In a good way, it's a pretty safe vehicle.] I'm used to my car which takes it's time lol.

As for my leg... I've been trying to take it easy and let it heal. Also been trying to do light/gentle stretches to help it.

 

I guess I'll stop here. Master will be waking up soon, and I need to make a few calls to different tourist spots to make sure they're open while I'm here.

 

Cheers!

-TheChimera

So I made it safely to Arizona and into Master's arms again~

 

When we got to the Airbnb, Master is so loving. So caring.

We were getting ready for a shower and he THREW. HIS. BELLYLINT. AT. ME.

What a butt!!!!!!!!!

 

 

Still adore him... and his weirdness.

Goes well with my weirdness..

 

Guh, I'm having such a hard time focusing on my work today.

I'm gonna be leaving work early to catch a flight, and I'll be off to see Master from today until the 25th!

I can't wait. I'm all jittery and excited.

As I was cleaning up my inbox, I found our old messages on how we began to talk. It's about this time last year did we really start communicating. It's a little funny really, how one push of a digital button can open the door to lead down a winding path we've been on.
I know it's a little premature - since our relationship and dynamic didn't really begin until later on this month.

 

It made me smile, reading over our past conversations. I could see the blooming interest slowly budding then blossoming.

When you first found me, I was in a dark place. A very dark, deep, horrible place of which- I doubted I'd be happy again for a very long time.  So many things were happening around me, it felt like my life was falling apart at the seams. Someone I had thought I'd spend my life with- was suddenly cut out. My mother I was terrified was going to pass away from cancer, and me? At that time I was terrified that I might be starting to follow behind her by being diagnosed with cancer myself. Instead, it was still something serious, and devastating. I was angry. Angry, skeptical, and scared.
I read over our conversations and I remember actually laughing at some points in my mother's hospital room. Or at night, curling up to peek at my phone to see any final words from you.

You made me smile when I was in the midst of tears.You shined light on corners and crevices of my mind of which I had forgotten about. You took my hand and helped guide me through a black tunnel of which felt.. Endless...

You rekindled something I had abandoned a long time ago.
Hope.

You gave me things to dream about again. And... As desperate or crazy as it may sound, you gave me direction to go in my life again.
You make me want to push longer, work harder, become better. 

Even when I'd kick, scream, snap, or tear into you. You were and still are every patient with me. Even when you are angry too (Even today, still ever patient.) You know how to read my actions when sometimes- even I don't understand why I do things.

Soon- in just a few short days I'll be in your arms again. We can once again sleep tangled in a mess of limbs and whispered murmurs of adoration.  I didn't realize it until now- but it's right in time for our 1 year anniversary of when I took your consideration collar, and we began our adventure.

I don't know how far, or how long this road we're on will go. But, I'm happy to go down it with you.

I love you, Master.