Well... Here I am again. I made it back safely. Now that I'm not dead-tired and lagging, I'll actually- you know. Post a blog or two.
Visiting Master, it was a lot of fun. Truthfully, this time around we didn't do too much BDSM stuff like our previous visits. Don't worry, shenanigans were had- just not to the same extent as previous visits. I'll make a separate blog post about that for readers delight.
I was content to just be near him this time. Take a break from my usual hub-bub and slow down. Take a breather. Truthfully, I needed the break. It was nice to just take a couple weeks to myself, slow down, sleep in, just be.
I'm thankful to Master for allowing me that time. It's reassuring to know that we both can enjoy one anothers company outside of our dynamic and outside of the bedroom.
Truthfully, some of the blogposts I've read in the past - that's the only foundation and connection there is within the relationship/dynamic. Sex, sex, sex, some banter, BDSM, kink, sex. But outside of that? Not much else.
((Like always, I completely understand if that's the boundaries placed/parameters placed within someone else's dynamic. Not to discredit, put down, or "shit" on someone else's relationship. If it makes you happy, and you aren't maliciously hurting people/yourself; then by all means. Your kink is not my kink.))
I was able to cook a bit for Master as well, and it made me happiest to see he likes my cooking. Being a typical "Southern Girl" to a degree I find a good home cooked meal can just... Put everything/everyone at ease. And being able to watch Master not only eat something healthy, but tasty, and will help him relax. It's wonderful.
Nonetheless, I liked Arizona... It was hotter than blazes, the mountain ranges still freak me out (Florida is very flat,) and it still weirds me out how people have their houses perched precariously on top of steep mountainous hills-- Outside of Master, not much waits for me in AZ.
The primary reason I'll be back, is to see him.
With the sweets, comes the sours too.
This time around, it was me heading off to catch my plane. It was much harder on Master to watch me walk away from him. A few times at the airport; he'd grab my hand and pull me back. Just one more hug. One more kiss. Just one more minute... Anything to have a little more time together. Even for a moment.
Readers, it's getting more and more difficult to be away from him. Every "See you later" (Because I absolutely refuse to say goodbye. Goodbye is too final for me.) is getting harder and harder. we both cried off and on the last 2 days I was there with him. It's scary to a point, because I've been in a long distance relationship before. Hell, my last one was nearly 10 years. And truthfully? It didn't hurt this much to leave him like so when going back home.
I woke up in my own bed this morning and I cried before I did my morning mantra Master has me do every day before waking up and before bed. I managed to get through my mantra without breaking down, but I had to sit on my bed and cry again. It's not the same.
There's comfort in my own bed, my own blankets, hell even my own scent. But I miss him already. I miss how he'd sleepily crack an eye open and watch me do my mantra, or how he'd sleepily pull me back into him while I sat on the edge of the bed and checked my phone in the morning, hell, even the scent of him when I'd nestle in behind him and be the big spoon while he slept.
The first day away from him is the hardest. I feel disjointed, incomplete, and even a little lost. I'm thinking I might curl back up in bed awhile... Between the jetlag, and the depression, I just want to fade away for a little bit.
