The Chimera's Whispers

First and foremost, I can't seem to wake up fully today...  Sunday was busy for everyone, so I took it as a day to relax, get some sketches done (as per my last blog-post, trying to tease Daddy)
As Saturday slid into Sunday and it was past midnight- Master and I sat down and reviewed how our special littles day event went.

We discussed things we liked, didn't like, and what we might carry in the future days we dedicate to the littles-trait.
I still stand by what I said. I don't see myself as a full fledged little, and here's a couple reasons why.

Firstly, I can jump in and out of "The little box" as I've come to call it- very quickly the same way someone might slide in and out of water.  Just from research and discussion, I know for some littles (Keyword some, not all) once they're in the space, it's similar to subspace. Leaving little-space is turbulent and mentally taxing, if not even a little jarring depending on how they "resurface" from that space.
I'd even go so far as to equate it with a form of sub-drop.  

Secondly, My mind and whims are fickle, and change daily. So that Saturday, littles day was amazing! However, come Sunday- I want to be recognized as an adult again. Things littles love in little-space or in a 24/7 dynamic may come to irritate me, or frustrate me. 

Thirdly, I don't see any specific "Age range" I'd fall into. I've noticed some littles know what age-range they fall into. 1-3, 4-7, 7-9, 10-12, 13+ (Teens)  --  When I go into the little-box I'm a blend of a wide range of ages. (Which, for those who are like me, there's absolutely nothing wrong with that!)


In the end, discussing it all with Daddy- this was a place of learning oneself, growing, and exploration. I'm so thankful Master/Daddy was there to essentially hold my hand, and explore with me. We both got to discover/rediscover parts of ourselves, but some really nice new doors opened for us.

I discovered some hidden joys that can be found in the little-box.
A big one, was for Daddy. He rediscovered a few things he really enjoyed within such a dynamic, and I got to watch those 'wings unfurl' for the first time in a long time for him. It was beautiful to watch, and I'm so proud and happy I was the one to help him rediscover that delight.


Bonuses we picked up together:

Master is allowing me to call him 'Daddy' interchangeably. (when suitable, some times/places require certain titles. Ie: Littles day will be Daddy only.)

In return, I've gotten a new nickname! Master now calls me his Cherry Blossom, which greatly amuses me because that's the theme I've been using with my blog for the Littles day event! (Inspiration maybe?)

In future Littles day events, if we're physically together, we'll have outings! Like Aquarium visits, going out for ice-cream, etc. I love this!

In hand to the above; if we go to a restaurant, I am submitting the power to Daddy to order my food for me, since at that time. Daddy knows best for his little girl.

There was mention of future stuffies coming to my collection, so I'm all kinds of ramped up for that!!! I love stuffies!

 
In conclusion: I will say that I will retain what I had been saying before. I have the traits I love embracing. Kind of a really fun way to wax nostalgia, make the inner child within squeal with happy delight and relish in a simpler, happier time prior to adult-stressors.
I will happily be doing littles-day again.
Thank you again to everyone who participated. We love seeing the activity, the comments, the encouragement, excitement, and delight in turn.
We hope to have everyone participate on our next "littles day"

And again- a special thank you to SSG (SensualSubGirl) for this brilliant idea. Because of you, you've not only set up inspiration for a lot of fun during these hard times. But, also helped new doors open for our Dynamic (and maybe for a few others as well.)


I talked with Master and we were talking about having a "pet day" for the animals out there. I'll admit, more research will be needed and I will be heavily leaning on Master to guide my through the activities for this.

However, this will be for another blog.

Cheers~

Just for Master when he woke up today~

 

Littles day update 2

(Drawing everything to a close.)

 

So! We've spent the day watching movies! We got through The sword and the stone, Ferngully, The black cauldron, and Thumbelina. Final movie the night is gonna be Rock-A-Doodle, then it'll be the end of Little's day.

 

We took a small break between The Sword and the Stone and Ferngully so Daddy could read a few blogs he was entertained by, and I took a quick 15-20 minute nap in my blanket fort. ((During work, I actually have a habit of grabbing a quick powernap, so this fit in perfectly.)) 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

During The black cauldron and Thumbelina, Daddy asked me to draw him a picture. So, in honor of today and embracing that inner self, I DID!
 

 

 

 

 

 

Also, during the movies I painted my nails super sparkly.

I am addicted to holo-glitter.

 

And finally, for dinner, I made Mac n' cheese with Hot-dog Octopi!

 

One more movie and we'll be good to go! What an awesome Little's day!


I'm excited to read everyone's blogs, see pictures, and know what everyone's done today. If you participated; I hope you had a lot of fun!

Thanks all for making this day amazing!

Cheers!

Short update for all!

(I don't intend on making a bunch of blogposts today.)

Just finished the blanket fort before Master- erm... Daddy woke up (We're trying the term on for size today)

 

 

WHO'S GOT THE BEST BLANKET FORT!?!

This girl.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Daddy said no cursing today, it's not allowed. Dangit!  I made pancakes for the house - because what littles day isn't complete without PANCAKES?

They're not my best pancakes... But they'll do, and still tasty!

I just woke Daddy up with a phonecall (It's 9am his time now) and I'm gobbling my pancakes.


Ok everyone!
Grab your stuffies, your coloring books, juicy boxes, and crawl in! No Sis! (SirsBabyDoll) You cannot dunk Squidlet's tentacles in cocktail sauce! You leave Squidlet alone!

Ok! ok! ok!
IT'S MOVIE TIME!


See you at lunch/dinner break!!!

Master and I were talking last night.
Every so often, I'll embrace inner traits of myself, and work with them.

We decided that tomorrow, Saturday, would be a designated day to embrace those "little" traits I have.
I've been wanting to do  binge on a few old kid's movies I adored as a child, so we figured why not make a day of it.

In fact, moving forwards. We're going to make designated days to embrace these traits. In future, I figure I'll invite everyone to join and participate as they see fit.

So!

You're invited to join us for this impromptu "little" day. Be it a full day of regression, or an afternoon of watching old kids movies you loved when you were younger. (Or for some parents, maybe introduce your kiddo/rewatch an old movie you might have enjoyed when you were their age.)

 

Everyone is welcome to join. Little or not

 

I'll be making a blanket fort where Squidlet and I will be watching kids movies, while eating comfort food, and more than likely, some drawing will be going on.

This girl's movie list is:

• The Sword and the Stone
• The Black Cauldron
• The Princess and the Goblin
• Thumbelina
• Rock-a-Doodle
• The Pebble and the Penguin
• Once Upon a Forest
• Ferngully

In no particular order. All by what I feel like watching next. 

Others are welcome to bring their snackies, coloring books, crayons, stuffies, pillows, movies, and anything else they'd like!

Times are flexible and open to all. Be it morning, afternoon, or evening.

This was inspired by SSG (SensualSubGirl) and her awesome Littles Day she orchestrated awhile back. 
At the time, I halfheartedly participated, had a few other things happening.
So I figured I'd give this another shot, and open the door for others to participate who mayhaps couldn't last time, or just wants to do it again!

 

So let's make a day of it! Future designated days will be announced a little earlier to allow others to join/prep if they wish to partake!

 

 

 

 

 

Actual conversation between Master and I. Worst answer to give? Or best answer?
You be the judge.

When in any kind of dynamic or relationship with anyone, you're bound to fight at one point or another.  I think a lot of "new couples" or "New marriages" hit those points and that's when their metal is genuinely tested. I've watched my goofy friends hook up, then break up just as quickly over a ridiculous fight of which - could have been resolved if both sides talked it out.

And I think that's the big key-point there. Talk. It. Out.

All too often I've been the "Middleman" in fights between friends, and they'll say something to which the conversation proceeds as:
Me: "Did you tell so-and-so that?"
Them: "Well, no..."

Piece of advice: Put your cards on the table.
Let the other see EXACTLY what's going on, don't hide emotion, don't hide opinions, (Keyword there. OPINIONS. Not insults. Slinging insults or pointing the finger of blame will just make the fight more heated.) tell the other person exactly what's on the brain, how it made you feel, and why you acted the way you have. Even if you're in the wrong, surely you had some reason why you acted like a doofus? - if you're wrong, still admit you're wrong. Just because you're being open and expressing your reasons doesn't automatically make you right.
Just be open.   It's you and your partner VS a problem, not you VS your partner.

                                                                                    Which leads me to my next part of my journal post.

 

Master and I got into a bit of a fight over the weekend.

He told me he needed time to think - which I respect. I know he's a deep thinker, and likes to have his thoughts in order before approaching a deep subject. So I let him have his space. The only downfall is he mentioned I was part of the reason why he needed space and time to think; get his thoughts in order.

Like him, I'm a deep thinker. When I know I've done something wrong, I'll scrutinize everything. I'll tear and shred myself apart. I won't sleep, I won't eat. I'll fret and worry, and be anxious.
Master took the evening to himself to think.

When he got back to me later the next day, I was a wreck. I won't give deeper details-
but I'll say that he had some life events happen that had him stressed out. I've been having some personal things happen that left me stressed out.  I acted out in a very petty manner against someone else, he didn't like it. He told me I had acted in a petty way, and he didn't approve of it. He was disappointed by me acting like that. But, he didn't tell me this until the next day.

I got angry.
I understand and I'll admit, I was wrong to act petty to someone else. But, with it. I was angry I had shredded myself apart that night over something that in retrospect, was minute. Frivolous, even. 
I put my cards on the table. I told him I was angry, why I was angry, what happened the night previous, how I couldn't sleep well, or even eat because of the anxiety.  I put all of our conversations and actions under a microscope to try and figure out what I had done wrong. I even looked and reviewed messages all the way back from February. Unsure how I upset him so much to a point he wanted space away from me to think.

I asked him to next time, just elaborate more. Tell me if it's something devastatingly awful or not. That way I can peacefully let him be and in the process, not completely rip myself apart over something that doesn't warrant me ripping into myself.

He felt terrible after when I told him everything- which wasn't my intention. I put everything out on the table so he understood where I was, why I was upset and angry. In the end, he put his cards on the table as to what was going on, why he felt the way he did, and why he took a step back to assess and evaluate his emotions. He had very good reasons why he wanted to take a step back and evaluate everything. Which isn't my place to disclose to you all. But, I can understand why he chose to step back, and I respect him more for it.
In future, together, we'll work harder and know how to better handle the situation if anything similar pops up like this for us.

In the end, we talked it out, we patched it up, and spent the tail-end of the evening talking and playing video games together before I had to curl up in bed.

"My challenge to you all: For the next 48 hours (yes through Friday) try very, very hard to focus on the positives - any positives - you might have. Try NOT to blog about the negatives. If you feel down and need to express yourself, please do"
-Literate Lycan

 

Hmmmmm. Alright then, challenge accepted. Positives... This list will be scattered, some more simple positives than others

 

• I love the weather right now, it got cool outside whereas usually it's really humid. I've got my window open and I'm enjoying sipping my morning tea while feeling the cool air, and listening to birdsong.
• My job was able to tweak protocol to enable myself and my coworkers to work from home remotely. My mother has a compromised immune system from her chemo treatments- so it's fantastic I'm able to keep myself isolated and at a low risk to my mom while also being able to remain steady on my bills. (I know a lot of people got laid off from their jobs. Which really sucks)
• In hand to the above, My mom kicked rectal-cancer's ass! She's off the chemo and returning to her normal spunky self!
• Recently, old wounds from a past car accident flared up- making my back spasm and lock up. I'm happy to say it's healing, and my mobility is returning again without aches and pains
• Recently, I've been really developing in Monster Hunter World, I'm honing skills and having a ton of fun doing so
• I recently made a couple new friends from The Cage to also play with me on MHW! I'm excited at the shenanigans we get up to!
•  I have a Dominant who is very caring and understanding. I appreciate he can read my actions and accurately understand why I do things, even when I don't completely comprehend them.

It may not seem like too much, or even really simple stuff. But, I'm glad for it, it's been keeping my mood light and my views very optimistic.

 

 

Some fools just can't catch a hint, huh? I dunno I've noticed an influx of folks trying to creep up into my PMs and Inbox... Despite my tag having "AF" on it, or my voice-clip stating I'm collared, or the announcement I've been collared repeatedly on my profile, and the announcement on my blog about being collared.
(Boy, is there an echo in here?!)


To the Insta-Dom's hitting my inbox, Bond, or PMing me in the Chatroom: Yeah, you do look that creepy/stupid, and yes, my Master sees everything. 90% of the time we're laughing at you.

I know personally, I have a difficult time accepting or loving myself.
For those reading, I propose a challenge to you.
Fill out the below, and really think about it. 

Name:
One thing you like/love physically about yourself.
I like/love my eyes. How expressive they are, how they brighten and flash, or darken.

One thing you find physically sexy about yourself.
My legs. How long, shapely they are. 

One thing you can/will physically improve about yourself.
My weight. I'm heavyset, and this is only temporary. We will work on becoming fitter/healthier.

One thing you like/love mentally about yourself.
(I dunno if this counts as mental or physical)  I love my laugh. It's contagious.

One thing you find mentally sexy about yourself.
my wit. I have a nice way of immediately delivering snappy comebacks; most of the time I can get people to laugh with a 1liner. It's a great way to break the ice, and I'm easy to talk to.

One thing you can/will mentally improve about yourself.
I have some private, dark insecurities. I'm personally working to improve on them every day.

 

[[Your answers don't have to match mine. You're welcome to clear this, repost it in your blog, or just fill it out on your own.]]