This Challenge nearly got my goat. I wanted to start with a gentle "Ramp up" start with things about myself I liked and work my way up. There are many flaws I dislike about myself. Facing those flaws, REALLY looking at them and putting them under the magnifying glass is hard. I'm modest, I dislike showing myself to others. I haven't posted much, because I've been working on my courage and self acceptance.
My biggest issue with my self consciousness is primarily because I'm heavyset. I understand that being obese is NOT attractive, and I know it's not attractive to me.
Whereas, I'm working on my weight and flaws. I'm still self conscious. I wear more conservative clothing, and I avoid certain situations Like wearing a bathing suit in public if I can. (Or I'll cover up with a large shirt)
I've been ridiculed, made fun of, rejected, and even ostracized for my weight - of which, I know I'm not as heavier as others. But, the feelings are still there. Things still happened in the past that helped mold and shape my present, and maybe even my future to a degree. I'm working on trying to change that.
I also know my Master enjoys showing off what is his, letting the world see what he cherishes.
So with this final post. It's still conservative enough for me not to have a meltdown- but still revealing enough to push my comfort zone.
Excuse me while I bury my face and go hide.
