So I've been back in this space for just under a day. Time moves strangely, just like temperature. When I'm there it feels like time is suspended for most of the time, and then it moves so very quickly. W/we pack so much into the day at times, the first days feel like weeks, this is when O/our hug-o-meters are getting filled; then, without warning, something shifts and time speeds up. The last week usually goes by in the blink of an eye, and W/we both look at eachother in shock at one point and ask eachother "How" ... How did it get to be tomorrow?
I cracked the code on jetlag, but I will wait to claim victory until I can repeat the miracle next trip. I'm also not crying today, just numb. I'm also experiencing time strangely. I can't decide if it is moving fast or slowly, or not at all. He told me that there is a dangerous kind of snow that can happen when you are driving and it is night, and you can see nothing except the headlights and the snow and the blackness, and it almost looks like a movie portrayal of "warp speed" , it is dangerous because it is easy to "get lost" in it. To be unable to really tell your position in relation to space or speed.
This description is intriguing to me.
Right now I'm numb, and nothing feels real. part of me physically still feels like I'm on a plane, I don't know if anyone else ever experiences that after flying long distance, but for me, for a few days after I can still feel the dip and rise of being in the air.
So for today I'd like to share one of O/our powerful practices... W/we save one of the "best" experiences for O/our last days. Preferably the last night. W/we have done this intentionally since the very first trip. W/we know that that last little bit will be necessarily emotionally hard, and if W/we let ourselves it would be easy to "wallow" or "get bogged down" in the anticipation of loss. One of the ways W/we avoid this is by making intentional plans that W/we have looked forward to and will get U/us out and active and engaged in the moment, rather than the anticipation of the coming day(s). (note: anticipation does not necessarily have a positive connotation, neither does excitement.)
The first summer I was entrusted with making the plans, and I saved something amazing for the last night. I took Him to a space He had long desired to go; to Medieval Nights the horse show. I got U/us a special table and even signed Him up to be "knighted". He still has the momento on His bedside. Apparently I picked a title for Him that they had never used before, so that was pretty unique as well. The plan worked, and W/we were swept into the evening, focused on the event and the joy rather than the impending loss.
Then, on the morning of W/we have breakfast together. Ideally, we go out for breakfast and have some time. My favorite memory is still of the time W/we went and had CrackerBarrel together. It was lovely, but so was Tim Hortons. Everything has its place, its own beauty.
So this time, one of my favorite memories was also towards the end, but it was drastically different that W/we had planned. W/we left the house with the intention of going to my tutoring session (I have the opportunity to tutor some children in the area online when I'm here, and in person when I'm there. This opportunity has really been a game changer in relation to my financial stability when I'm visiting Him. As it stands, things when I'm in my own space are *fine*. I'm ok, but the economic situation of my country is .... precarious, to say the least. I would be 100% unable to do anything in the way of providing my own ticket to go and see Him... but this opportunity has made that possible. I have been able,with His help, and with this tutoring, to manage. )
So W/we headed to tutoring (a little sad, because it did feel like a small loss of time, but also grateful for the boost it provides). Then W/we were intending to go on a date. I've never been to a casino, and the intention was to go and have some fun on a very set budget. If W/we win, awesome, if not, hey it was a lovely couple hours of fun. ... but when W/we got to tutoring a very different opportunity presented! The family surprised U/us with tickets to the zoo, a bonus for my time and effort, and some other small gifts. I was really overwhelmed. Here's the kicker... He was very happy to "pivot" .
See, He is an opportunistic Dominant. I do not claim that this is a term anyone else would use, but it is the term that W/we use. W/we discuss it pretty frequently. I have been in around this lifestyle for coming up on 20 years, and maybe the people I've met are the exception... but He is different. Most that I've known are very clear on Their Will and Their plans. They have a vision, and they execute it. This is very well and good. Most of Them can certainly roll with the punches, and find ways to solve problems... but I have not known too many who are willing to "pivot". By that, I mean most times opportunities that present that had not been in Their original plan are not followed up. MstrJ is the exception to this, in my own experience... He is ready and willing and EXCITED to pivot on a moment's notice. Saving $60 because W/we were given tickets to the zoo??? YES!
Going to walk around outside on a rainy, cold, overcast day ... when I look at Him and say: "Can W/we?" YES!
It was an amazing day filled with holding hands, and excitement, and joy, and discussion...
very few people were there, though it was not empty. W/we were able to get right up next to each habitat, and every single time that I wanted to ask a question of the zookeepers I was able, because I was pretty much the only one asking. Never once did He get annoyed with my questions. W/we got to see the new Polar bear. One of the penguins played tag with me. I had no idea that reindeer scratch behind their ears just like a DOG!!!
I didn't know that meerkats have a "Sentinel" and I had no idea they slept in a cuddle puddle. ... I was shocked at how BIG porcupines are... and why in the heck do they stand in a line? 0__o
W/we watched the Gibbons and they are bizarre creatures! Fantastic, but bizarre.
The best moment of all was seeing the baby Red Pandas roughhousing. They love to jump into the springy bushes, and have no fear of getting hurt when they "miss". They also apparently scratch their tushes on one single rock... the SANE rock, must be a good scratching post.
Last but not least, now Lemurs wrap their entire bodies into a tangle to sleep.
The thing is... if He were not an opportunist, W/we'd not have had those memories. If He were not willing to pivot to take advantage of the chance; yeah We'd have had an amazing day. 100%. W/we DID go to the Casino the very next day, and it was amazing... but because He was willing to pivot W/we had two lovely "last memories" for the trip.
I love this one not only because of the song, but also because of the video.
Thank You for all the ways You support me. Thank You for being able and excited to pivot. Thank You for being an opportunist. Thank You for walking in the cold and overcast and rainy even in the not perfect shoes. Thank You for being EXCITED with me. Thank You for lemuring with me. Thank You for lunch. Thank You for being exactly who and how You are. I LOFF YOU!
https://www.youtube.com/shorts/anEypp5Ff6w
His slaveMikayla
