I'm tired and burned out. I sit in a constant state of lost depression. I deny my little in public due to fear of judgement. I see things she wants to do or buy, but say no because in the public eye I should be a grown, mature woman. I grew up in a strict catholic home. To this day my mother passes judgement on things I do that she considers childish. " You are supposed to set a example for your two young children. You do not have the right to give in to your frivolous childish desires." It is a constant guilt that pounds away little chips of who I am. With the kids always being home I now deny my little at home too. It has even effected my dynamic Daddy and I have together. Playtime is hard due to interruptions, he is at work often, we are both so exhausted we lost the energy to try. The littlest things set me off and my brat comes forth. I mouth off and catch myself disrespecting him out of frustration. No punishment or correction happens. The guilt eats away because I know I am in the wrong, but my frustration is overflowing and I can not put the stopper back in to halt it. I am a ticking time bomb that will either be disarmed or explode.
