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Discovering my true self

My thought, hurts, victory’s and complaints as I go through this journey of self discovery in the life of BDSM.
4 years ago. August 2, 2020 at 1:21 AM

Hello sorry for the double posts in 1 day but I have another question. So I’m on TikTok (probably like most of you are) and I’m in the kink side of TikTok because that’s a part of my life I also believe that you can get education and lessons from a wide variety of sources. But there is this this going around where there are girls saying that they are sexually submissive but emotionally dominant and I was wondering what that means. Thank you in advance. 

Stay safe. Have fun. Keep on Kinking On.

 

~PM 💋💋

4 years ago. August 1, 2020 at 3:20 PM

Hello my beautiful lovely kink community! I have a non-kink question that maybe someone can answer or direct me to a place I can get more information from. So as you guys know I’m a subby. My Sir says I’m a brat also (I don’t see it I’m an angel... just ignore my blog post about causing trouble.... 🙄🙄😏), I identify as a more middle than a little, and I am primal prey for sure. Now the one I’m trying to reconnect with the most (and the part I was closest to before I found and accepted my subby side) was my witchy/pagan side. I would really love to reconnect to that. So I have a couple questions for any of my witchy sub (or Dom) sisters and brothers.

 

- I was really into the Tarot card readings but I never had a deck and I would love to get one. Should I pick one off online or find a store and go there and physically touch them until I find one that “speaks” to me? (You know what I mean)

- Crystals are also a big thing I liked to use. Should I go based on my birth crystals first or should I also take the time to go to a store or shop and find ones that connect to me.

- What types of spices and herbs should I have on standby or on hand at all times?

- Book recommendations on how to reconnect with your pagan side. 
- Any tips, suggestions or anything please please message me or comment!! 


Thank you all! 

Blessed Be!

 

Stay safe. Have fun. Keep on Kinking on! 

~PM💋💋

4 years ago. July 30, 2020 at 2:26 PM

Alpha and I had our second weekend together this past weekend. It was amazing. Wonderful. Better than anything I could have imagined. I’m still recovering from it. But I’m that recovery comes the drops. And I’ve had a couple this week. And with the recovery also comes the sadness and the loneliness and the missing of being in His arms. So I just wanted to remind everyone that it doesn’t matter if it’s your first weekend or your 101st weekend. Make sure you practice self care. Make sure you keep communicating. Make sure you talk with your Sir and check in with them. I make a point to ask Alpha everyday how he’s doing and if he’s okay outside of the usual conversation we have and the normal how are you how’d you sleep questions. Doms can drop too. And it can take up to 72 hours (that’s 5 days) for a drop. Practice self care. Keep checking in. Know it’s okay and that this is normal. I am loved. You are loved. Stay safe. Have fun. Keep on Kinking on. 

~PM 💋💋

4 years ago. July 19, 2020 at 8:48 PM

Hello!! I know it’s been a minute since I was last in or posted anything. Life has kicked me in the ass but I’ve gotten through it. And Sir has been there to help. Anyways now I’m back! And I’m seriously looking for some fun subby friends I can talk with. I mean having vanilla friends is great but they don’t understand all the intricacies of being a sub. Especially on those days I am bratty. And they think it’s strange that I have to ask permission to do some things that they normally would just do. And while they are supporting it’s still nice to have friends who understand. So this is my official looking for friends post.

 

Subby friends wanted. 
Let’s talk about the pros and cons.

Lets swap stories.

Lets share play ideas.

(Lets complain about our Sirs/Madams (face it it happens))

Lets come up with fun ways to be brats. I mean.... great ways to be good girls and boys and always listen to our Doms. 😏

Lets be friends! 

comment or message me if you want to be my subby friend. Just be aware that I am a witchy bratty sub who likes to invite chaos into her life. (I’m also a Hufflepuff) 

 

 

Much love! 
Stay safe. Have fun. Keep on kinking on! 

~~PM💋💋

4 years ago. June 27, 2020 at 5:41 PM

So, my Sir and I have our first scheduled in person meet for next weekend. Hotels have been booked and plans have been made and it’s happening come hell or high water. And I’m so excited. But so gosh darn stressed it isn’t even funny.


What if he doesn’t like me in person?
What if I’m not what he’s hoping for?
What if I’m too much?
What if I’m not enough?
What if he changes his mind but I’m still super attached?
What if I change my mind?


See.... stressed. All these worries and questions running thought my head ever since I clicked the confirm button on the hotel. 


Well I’m sure I’m not the only one stressed and worried and my Sir has been so very supportive and loving and kind and reassuring that it’s really not even worth the stress of stressing but it’s a natural instinct. So here are some coping mechanisms, from one anxiety ridden sub to another:


-Breathe.
Girl (or guy no judging just love) take a deep breath in.

Hold for a 5 count.

Release slowly.

Repeat.  

Everything will be fine. Lean on your Sir/Ma’am. Trust them. They would never put you in a situation where you have to worry. They love you. They know you’re stressed they get it. They still love you. Breathe.

-Talk with them.
Tell them about your fears and worries. They know you better then you know yourself sometimes. And in this case it’s best if you go to them with your stress and worries and have them take those away. Maybe with a video chat. Maybe with a little play time. Maybe with a virtual cuddle session. But tell them. Don’t let the stress build because then you will be a ball of anxiety when you see them for the first time and no one wants that. 

-Self care. SELF care. SELF CARE!

Do I need to say it louder for those in the back?? SELF FLIPPING CARE!!!

Take a bath. Read a book. Have a little one on one time with BOB (or whatever you name your vib (with permission of corse 😏)). Go for a walk.

Clear those negative thoughts and doubts away people. 


You’re gonna see your flipping SIR!! 


You’re gonna be able to touch.

To kiss.

To cuddle.

To talk with face to face.

To play with.

This is a special, magical time. Enjoy it. Cherish it. Take lots and lots of pictures. Make amazing memories. You never get to see each other for the first time again. Make this one special. 


Be prepared. Be smart. Be safe. Make sure you tell a trusted person or people. Give them the details of where you’re gonna be. Keep your location on your phone on. But don’t stress. 


I hope these helped you guys. And remember my loving kink community, stay safe. HAVE FUN!! And Keep on kinking on! 


~~PM💋💋

4 years ago. June 7, 2020 at 2:24 PM

For those of you whom don’t know yes, my Sir and I are poly. He has more experience then I do but we are both poly and trying to explore that has been a struggle. Like any sub I’m very possessive of my Sir. And like any Dom he is very possessive of me but we both know and understand the desire to have and play with other people and partners. I am just starting to get comfortable with the idea and so the idea of looking for a second partner is kinda scary and unnerving.


Where do you start? 
How does this work? 
Do I approach perspective partners or do they come to me and I send them to Sir?


Also, there aren’t very many Doms whom are poly so that makes it hard. We (my Sir and I) have rules and restrictions and it’s an ongoing conversation but I still think it’s something that I’m going to have to really start looking at and talking about. 


Any tips and advice from poly people please message me or comment below. This is going to be one of my focuses for the next little while. Thank you and remember, stay safe. Have fun. And keep on kinking on! 


~PM 💋💋

4 years ago. June 7, 2020 at 12:27 PM

This isn’t an advice entry guys sorry. Just a little poem/reminder my Sir had me write to myself because I was feeling down. For those of you who have collars maybe you share similar feelings to mine. For those who don’t, don’t worry your collar is coming. Hold off until it’s from the right one. I’m lucky in the fact that I have found my Sir and that we have such a special and magical connection. You will find yours someday too. 

 

 


My collar is a symbol of my submission. 
My collar is a symbol of love and affection. 
It’s a symbol that my Sir thinks I’m worth the time and effort. 
It means I’m loved. 
I’m protected. 
I’m cherished. 
It is a visual representation of my freedom. 
My freedom that I find through my submission.
It’s the chain that binds me to my Sir. 
It is a representation of passion, of love. 
It’s a gift that is given to me that I gave. 
To wear a collar is to be strong. 
I am a strong woman. 
And my collar is a representation of that.
When I look in the mirror and see it in my reflection, when I see it against my skin it reminds me of where I’ve been.
Of who I was.
And it gives me hope for the future and where I’m going.  

4 years ago. June 2, 2020 at 5:33 AM

So some of you may be like wait PM what’s going on and why is another Dom writing a blog post on your profile when you have a Sir. Well lovely kink community, Nyxian565 is my Sir. He also has decided to grace us with some words of wisdom and I have to say, he is very wise indeed. So without further ado, the debut of my Sirs Blog: 


Importance of a private Journal

Many Doms have subs keep journals as a way to keep them and their sub close. It is an amazing tool that can really expand the dynamic. It provides couples a wonderful new form of communication. However in a Dom/sub dynamic it's not uncommon for the Dom to have complete unfettered access to the journal. This just isn't a good thing. There should be two journals. One shared and one private. This private journal is even more important than the shared one. It allows your subs to have a place of refuge. It allows them to log their frustrations and dreams. I encourage every sub to have friends that they can rely on to share their thoughts and talk about their dynamics, but some things are still private. Some things will always be off limits to friends.  The private journal solves this. It allows the sub complete freedom to express themselves away from prying eyes. This can be to vent private frustrations. Problems that would make people look at your Dom differently. It can also be a place to write about dreams or desires not yet ready for your Dom's eyes. Things you may still be unsure of. I think it is absolutely necessary for good relationships and good mental health. 

———————————————————————

I have to say He makes some very good points. And while we have a public journal I know He also encourages me to have a private one as well. And while I don’t like to keep things from Him as I feel like it’s hiding and lying I am going to start a private journal because He’s right. I need a space to work out my emotions and my frustrations with Him without having to worry about holding back for fear of how He will react to my words. Also having a private Journal will keep it so if I have anything planned for Him it can still be secret. 😏 

 

As always if you have any other tips or advice leave a comment down below! And remember, Stay Safe. Have fun. And keep on kinking on!! 

~ PM and Nyxian565 💋💋

4 years ago. May 29, 2020 at 11:50 PM

This goes out to all my bratty sub sisters and brothers out there!! 

Do you wanna cause some trouble?
Come on let’s go and play!
The Doms aren’t here anymore,
Let’s go out the door!
Chaos is that way!!


We can be best buddies.
All the chaos
That we are gonna cause.


Do you wanna cause some trouble?
Doesn’t have to be chaotic!


The Doms are back!


Run and Hide!!

 

And from one brat to another!

Stay safe, have fun, keep on kinking on!! 

~PM💋💋

4 years ago. May 19, 2020 at 10:08 PM

Hey guys! So I know I’ve been slacking a little about my blog posts but I’ve been dealing with those pesky real life problems. I just wanted to reach out to you all and thank you for your patience. Also, if you have any topics or anything you want me to write about please leave them in the comments. I am by no means a professional but I do really good research and I also try to use real life situations and pull from my experiences. Thank you all again for your comments and feedback on any and all posts I’ve made. You all rock!! And as always, stay safe, have fun and keep on kinky on! 

~PM💋💋