Discovering my true self

So my Sir has been sick for a little while now. And that’s okay. We have to remember that our Sirs are people too and they do have off days and they do get sick. Here are some things you can do to help them get through it and to get through it yourself. And some ways to handle the emotions that come with it. 

Ways to support a sick Sir:

- make sure they are taking care of themselves. This may seem like an obvious one and it kinda is but make sure that they are drinking water, eating food, sleeping enough. Just support them and check in. 

- send cute messages and pictures. Sweet messages and pictures will make them smile. And smiles are some of the best medication.

- Listen to them. Give lots of kisses and hugs and just basic comfort and love. Being vanilla at this time is okay. 

Now the feelings that come with a sick Sir. Be prepared ladies and gentlemen because these ones knock you on your ass. You’re gonna feel anxious, helpless, sad. You’re gonna miss them. You’re gonna feel uncertain. This is okay. This is normal. You’re not going to lose your relationship. Everything is still okay. They aren’t gonna leave and they aren’t intentionally making you feel this way. 

- write out your feelings to process. If you journal like I do make sure you are doing this. It helps.

- Have them give you simple tasks or give yourself those tasks. Don’t slack on things just because they cannot hold you accountable. 

- Communication communication communication. This is a huge huge thing. You need to keep talking. Express your feelings. Talk to them. They will understand. They may be sick but they still understand. 

I’m sure there’s more and I really want to hear what you guys do when your Sirs are sick so please comment any other suggestions. And you know your Sir best you know what they need. Always trust your gut. And remember, stay safe, have fun and keep on kinking on. 

~PM 💋

Just want to share with you all!!

Just a note, this ain’t advice just me sharing my news. Thank you in advance for celebrating with me! 

So I know I’m new to the scene and I know that I’m in my first dynamic but I just wanted to share with everyone some awesome news. My Sir has decided to officially give me a collar. This has been an exciting and roller coaster of emotions experience! Thank you guys for going on this experience with me and thank you for your support. Here’s a preview of what it will look like. Once I get it and it’s okayed with my Sir I’ll post pictures of me wearing it! Thank you again. And remember stay safe, have fun and keep on kinking on! 

~ PM 💋

Now, some of you may be wondering PM what do all these things have in common? Well let me tell you. 

So yesterday Sir and I were playing and had an intense scene. Afterward we had a small conversation. And Sir mentioned he was dropping and we needed to do after care and self care.

Did you know that you can get sub and Dom drop from interactions in the internet??? If you said no then join the club because I didn’t either! 

I’ve read about the importance of aftercare and drops and all that other stuff but nothing mentions that’s something I needed to do with online scenes. 

So here are some tips on self care and helping take care of Dom drop:

Self care:
1. eat a snack. I don’t know about anyone else but I’m always hungry after sex. This can go for real life situations as well as online if you are physically playing as well.

2. Drink lots of water. You want to stay hydrated. It’s important.

3. Set up an after sex/scene playlist of your favorite songs and listen to those. There is power in music. 

4. Ask your Sir to send you a video of them saying something or call them and chat with them just to hear their voice. (This one helped me way lots) 

5. Look at your favorite picture of them or a picture both of you together if you have one. 

Tips to help with Dom Drop: 

(Please note that I got a good majority of these tips for a very good close friend of mine and I don’t want to take credit that is totally hers and I had really no idea of how to help until she helped me out. Thank you girl you are a gem💋💋) 

1. send them a picture of yourself. Your Sir loves you and they want to see your smile. 

2. Write to them. A poem and letter a fun or good memory. Just something from the heart. They want to know and hear those words. And it’s needed especially after a scene that has darker kinks or was heavy on the discipline/degradation. They need to know that you don’t hate them or take those words to heart.

3. Send them their favorite song. The lyrics or the song in general or if you have one send them “your song” or a song that reminds you of them. Again music is powerful. 

4. Make sure they are taking proper self care measures like eating and drinking. 

5. CUDDLES!!! Lots and lots of cuddles.

Hope these tips help you guys out as they did me! As always if you have any other tips leave them in the comments. And remember stay safe. Have fun. And keep on kinking on!

-PM💋💋
 

So we all have those times when we have to put our kinky side to the side and step into our “vanilla persona”. And while we may have to do it we don’t think about having to do it with our Sir. 

Well lucky for me I get to experience this strange occurrence where I have to be vanilla in situations with my Sir. And it’s hard. There are times He will say something off hand and I want to comment “Yes Sir” or “No Sir” or I’ll get messages from him as my Sir that I can’t respond to vocally that I really want too or can’t react to as I would normally in a kinky situation l. This also goes for the opposite situation as well.

Recently I introduced Sir to some of my kinky friends from one of my groups and I sometimes have a harder time remembering to use my proper manners in that situation and slip up. So here’s some tips that I have for all those out there in similar situations as me.

1. talk to your Sir about your problem. See if there’s anything He can do to help keep you in the right headspace during each situation.

2. Technically you don’t stop being in a sub headspace when you are in vanilla situations and if you are like me and find it weird to call your Sir by their real name come up with a nickname that you can refer to them as. I tend to go toward hun or babe pending the situation and in certain situations I do refer to my Sir by his real name. But I try not to. 

3. make it a type of game. I like to tease my Sir and I know he likes it as well so I try to see how many times I can drop the word Sir into casual conversation. Just know that turn around is fair game tho so expect those dirty messages to come your way or if you are in person expect those wandering hands. But hey that’s the fun of it.

4. if all else fails just be real with your Sir and tell them that’s it’s too hard to go back and forth and try to work something out to limit those type situations. Just know that they will happen at some point. 

These are my tips and as always if you have any other suggestions drop them below. And remember everyone stay safe, have fun and keep on kinking on!

~PM

We all like our Sirs. Well we should anyways. And we all like to spend time with our Sirs. We like talking with them, sending pictures to them. Just generally being with them. It’s natural. But let’s take a second to talk about when Sir is busy.

These past few days I’ve been extra. It’s okay, it happens sometimes. I’ve needed extra attention and extra affection and my Sir has been so forthcoming and accommodating with it it’s been amazing. He told me yesterday as we were saying goodbye and good night that he is going to be very busy today and won’t be able to pay as much attention to me. My first instinct was sad. But I understand that my Sir is a live person and he has responsibilities and a life and it can’t revolve around me. Instead of letting that blip of sad settle I grabbed myself by the bootstraps, put on my big girl panties and got over it. I took the night to think about things I could do to keep myself occupied while my Sir was busy and ways to make it not so sad that communication will be limited. 

So here are my tips on things to do while your Sir is doing Sir things:

1. Go for a walk. 

~step outside and get some fresh air it will make you feel better. And there is something so cathartic about pushing and exercising your body. Plus it’s a good way to stay in shape and work on your endurance and just imagine the possibilities for what Sir will put you though with an increased endurance. 😉

2. Color a picture. 

~I find coloring to be a good stress relief. There is something so soothing about the colors. Plus there are fun kinky coloring books you can color and send the picture to your Sir.

3. Take a bath/shower.

~turn that water in as hot as your body can handle. Throw in those bubbles or bath salts. Light a candle. Play some music. Grab a glass of wine and a good book and just relax. It will be good for your headspace. And you will be relaxed and ready for Sir whenever he is done and then you can take care of him better. 

4. Look at a picture of Sir.

~sometimes that’s all we need. Look at his picture. Ask for a voice recording of him saying your favorite phrase and play that. Reread old messages. It isn’t the same as having him there I know but it will stave off the sadness and loneliness while you wait for him to be available.

5. Take cute pictures of yourself.

~my Sir likes it when I send him cute pictures of me. I love Snapchat filters so it makes me happy and I know that he will appreciate the picture. And think about how much you like random messages during the day. Your Sir likes them too and it’s a great way to say “hey I know your busy but I’m thinking about you and I can’t wait until you’re done with whatever you’re doing and I’ll be here to help you destress”. And no one said that the pictures had to be “G” rated. I’m sure that no Sir is going to be mad about a random sexy picture. 

Those are some of the things I do and will be doing while my Sir is busy. If you have any other tips please leave them in the comments. I hope that this has helped you guys at least a little. And remember we all understand!! Have fun. Stay Safe. Keep on Kinking On. 💋

~PM

So I’ve been in a dynamic for almost 2 weeks now and I have been trying to figure out what I would like to say about it as there is so many emotions flowing through me. So here’s what I decided.

I am unashamedly and completely ecstatic about my budding relationship with my Sir. I mean yes we had a mild argument a couple times (both my fault due to my insecurities) but other than that I couldn’t be more happy. He has been the most supportive, understanding, kindest person throughout these stressful few weeks and it has been wonderful. We can play and have fun together even in vanilla settings with our vanilla friends and it’s like a dream. 

So for all you newbies out there keep on keeping on. You will find a good Sir. They are out there just hold on a little longer. 

And to you Sir, thank you for being one of the good ones. 💋

Look at me Sir.

I’m on my knees in surrender, waiting  impatiently for your instruction. 

Smile at me Sir.

That smile that tells me all

of your secret desires.

Laugh for me Sir.

That deep chuckle that fills me with
unbridled desire whenever I hear it.

Touch me Sir. 

Run your fingers slowly over my body.
Learn my curves as they are yours to learn.

Use me Sir.

Use me for your deepest darkest

desires as I find joy in the pain.

Love me Sir.

Love me with your body, your touch.
A gentle caress, a firm slap, a soft kiss. 

Free me Sir.

As I find freedom in you. 

You always remember your firsts. First kiss, first love, first time you had sex. But let’s also talk about those other firsts. The first time you get punished for being sassy to your Dom, the first time you break up with someone.

....the first time you fight....

Now I’m going to stop right here. This is the one I want to talk about.

The first fight.

Now, I’m new to this lifestyle, I’m new to the give and take aspect of this type of relationship. I’m new to the feelings that this type of relationship provokes. I’m in communication with a prospective Dom and we have been talking and getting to know one another and have decided to enter into a training type of relationship. A couple of day later it happens. Emotions get high and something triggers and we get into an argument.

Now, I’m a crier, always have been. Doesn’t matter if I’m happy, sad, mad, frustrated I cry. And boy did I cry after I let my mouth get away from me. Heart wrenching sobs of frustration and anger and (and this is what threw me) humiliation and remorse and failure. The last three feelings caught me so off guard and were so surprising that it made me feel even worse. My instinct was not only to apologize but to drop to my knees and beg for forgiveness. 

After emotions calmed we did have a normal conversation but those 3 pesky feelings never went away. They have made me doubt myself. They have made me also take a step back and figure out what I can do to prevent myself from every feeing that way again. 

So those new to this lifestyle take my experience and learn from it. Prepare yourselves for those heighten feelings. Be prepared to have some new ones knock you on your ass. Don’t be ashamed of feeling that way, talk to your Dom/partner. And most of all learn from the experience and make changes so you never have to feel that way again. 

Man, this shit's unflatterin', all up in my head again
I don't feel myself right now, maybe I should just lay down
If vanity's my vitamin, well, I don't feel the difference
I don't like myself right now, gotta find a way out
What you feel is natural
But I don't wanna feel this anymore
Pick yourself up off the kitchen floor
What you waitin' for?
Girl, won't you stop your cryin'?
I know that you're tryin'
Everything's gonna be okay
Baby girl, don't you hang your head low
Don't you lose your halo
Everyone's gonna be okay
Baby girl
Draw your comparisons, tryin' to find who's lesser than
I don't wanna wear your crown, there's enough to go around
What you feel is natural (Natural)
You don't gotta put up with this anymore (Anymore)
Pick yourself up off the kitchen floor (Oh)
Tell me what you waitin' for?
Girl, won't you stop your cryin'?
I know that you're tryin'
Everything's gonna be okay
Baby girl, don't you hang your head low
Don't you lose your halo
Everyone's gonna be okay
Baby girl
Girl, don't hang your head low
Don't lose your halo, don't lose your halo
Girl, don't hang your head low
Don't lose your halo, oh
Girl, don't you stop your cryin'
I know that you're tryin'
Everything's gonna be okay
Baby girl, don't you hang your head low
Don't you lose your halo
Everyone's gonna be okay
Baby girl, won't you stop your cryin'? (Won't you stop your cryin'?)
I know that you're tryin'
Everything's gonna be okay (Everything's gonna be okay)
Baby girl, don't you hang your head low
Don't you lose your halo
Everyone's gonna be okay (Everyone's gonna be okay)
Baby girl
Everyone's gonna okay, baby
Mm mm mm, mm mm mm
Hoo hoo hoo, hoo

Because we all need a rally song in our lives. Here’s mine.