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Discovering my true self

My thought, hurts, victory’s and complaints as I go through this journey of self discovery in the life of BDSM.
4 years ago. June 7, 2020 at 2:24 PM

For those of you whom don’t know yes, my Sir and I are poly. He has more experience then I do but we are both poly and trying to explore that has been a struggle. Like any sub I’m very possessive of my Sir. And like any Dom he is very possessive of me but we both know and understand the desire to have and play with other people and partners. I am just starting to get comfortable with the idea and so the idea of looking for a second partner is kinda scary and unnerving.


Where do you start? 
How does this work? 
Do I approach perspective partners or do they come to me and I send them to Sir?


Also, there aren’t very many Doms whom are poly so that makes it hard. We (my Sir and I) have rules and restrictions and it’s an ongoing conversation but I still think it’s something that I’m going to have to really start looking at and talking about. 


Any tips and advice from poly people please message me or comment below. This is going to be one of my focuses for the next little while. Thank you and remember, stay safe. Have fun. And keep on kinking on! 


~PM 💋💋

Max Heathen​(other male) - I am a Poly Dom/Master, but my version of poly isn't the mainstream. Its about the relationship before the intimacy, for us. There isn't an alpha or beta in the dynamic of Poly for us, we are a Triad. One completes the other two and so it is with all three of us. We all three must have a productive friendship that can build into a deeper relationship, is maintained and ever evolving to inclusiveness between us as a Triad. There is really too much detail to be done in a comment but if this sounds like an intriguing concept that you would like to learn more about, feel free to send me a mail.
4 years ago
perfectmistake​(sub female){Nyxian565} - Thank you I might just for perspective
4 years ago
MasterLinguist​(dom male) - Comment deleted by poster.
4 years ago
SSG{ENM-TLP} - I am happy to discuss this with you further. Polyamory is a type of "open" relationship. In a polyamorous relationship, all partners are aware of one another. There are various levels of relationship and engagement. As Max said, there are a lot of different types of poly but ethical non-monogamy is present among all of them. I highly recommend joining Polyamory Love or Polyamorous Living on FB. You will get advice from people in relationships of varying types. Dating other people in and of itself is not being poly. If you are permitted to have an actual relationship with someone, then you are closer to poly. It is a lovestyle that is very BIG on mutual respect for ALL partners. No one is treated as less. That doesn't mean everyone has the same level of affection or love. Someone may be less emotional and you need that in someone and the one who gives the emotional may not be sexual at all but may be. Regardless, you will share some degree of love for each partner.

It isn't actually as easy as it may seem to find a true poly partner. A poly person is typically very good at compersion. We are happy when our partner(s) find happiness regardless of it that is with us or someone else, and we are grateful to their metas (my partner's partner) for what they contribite to our love. I love my meta and I am very grateful that she pleases and loves my partner. Jealousy can reer its head sometimes with some people, but those who have been poly for a while or who express compersion naturally tend to own their feelings and realize that jealousy is a result of fear. When you realize that poly is about addition and not subtraction (gaining a friend or lover instead of losing your partner), you can work through jealousy easier. Communication is even more critical in a poly relationship. Happy to answer any questions I can. I love the life. By the way, there is also a FB group named BDSM and Polyamory or something similar. I highly recommend it. There are two books that are the go-to books...More than Two and Ethical Slut.
4 years ago

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