Scribbles

Show of hands - who didn't see this coming?
(No one raises their hand.)
That's because everyone saw it coming. It was never a question of if it would happen, it was simply a matter of time.

Predictably, the last several months have seen a spike in the average number of births. Widely attributed to the fact that while last year the whole world was experiencing some level of quarantine, instead of moaning about how they were stuck indoors staring at the walls, many people were instead asking each other "Hey, wanna fuck?"
Established couples, roommates, friends. For some, sex became a fun way to alleviate boredom; a much needed break in the monotony by way of good ol' fashioned fucking.

And why not? Sure, there was a lot of sexting and camming and mutual masked masturbation, we put a lot of extra mileage on all of our toys, and Amazon became everybody's favorite porn site.
But as 6in of hard expanded to 6ft of horny suddenly "we're all gonna die someday anyway" became a viable excuse to close the social distance.
Our urges overtook us, all manners and mixtures of genders and identities. But as is often the result when eggs and sperm collide - babies happened.

Enter 2021.
Until the birth certificate people catch up the gender choices will continue to be just "male" and "female" and according to the Social Security Administration, so far this year the most popular baby names are Liam for boys and Sophia for girls.
But there was also this other phenomenon, the thing we all saw coming. The appearance of neat little bundles of germs, so-called "virus babies."
Yep, you guessed it, people started naming their babies after the damn virus. Really.

Perhaps the highest profile example of this is a couple in India who named their twins, a boy and a girl, Covid and Corona. Interestingly, the couple said that they might someday give their babies more distinctive, traditionally gender-specific names, but for now the twins can easily be identified by their pink and blue masks.
(I confess, I made up that last part.)

Other examples from around the world are:
Lockdown (very dungeon party meets WWF)
Sanitiser (queue all the jokes about squirting into someone's hand.)
Tina, as in quarantine
Demi, as in pandemic
Rhona, as in corona
And a man who named his son Covid Bryant, after the late Kobe Bryant, who died in a helicopter crash in early 2020 just as the whole covid thingy was really taking off.

(Ok I feel bad about that pun. Sorry.)

I've never met or heard of anyone named Plague or AIDS or Smallpox or Cancer or Polio or Flu. But maybe the trend will continue and in the future we will commemorate all sicknesses and infections and diseases and maladies of every shape and symptom just by fucking them into the following year's SSA list of Most Popular Baby Names.

Fuck me I am so fucking tired of the whole fucking subject.

Yes, this is going to be yet another in a very long line of humorous musings about kink shaming, probably the dozenth one already posted today, all about how somebody made a stank face because they didn't like what gave someone else an erection, and how dare you expose me to it, and ewww poor fragile me because it's awful and icky.

But this time it happened under stranger than usual circumstances, and as the sole arbiter of what is sexy/bloggy I decided to plant my flag on the barely attainable high ground and use my chosen platform to rant about it.
Hereafter, at least for the duration of this post, kink shaming will be referred to as KS* because as much time as we spend droning on about it, launching strikes at it, or trying to defend ourselves against it, it really should have it's very own capitalized abbreviation. Like DDlg. Or GERD.
(*Not to be confused with SK which is the German death metal band Skunky Kunt that KB turned me onto recently hahah!)

In this case I was not directly involved in the KS and I don't actually know what happened. The two people at the center of this travelling circus told 2 people, and they told 2 people, and so on and so on and suddenly, before anyone could say "Faberge," the story had reached my doorstep. (Another vintage TV commercial reference. It's 1984 old school but still feels, y'know, fresh.) It was about the presumed not-niceness of a Dom based on his profile which had been misinterpreted by a overzealous, easily-angered sub.
I will not give the names of the 2 founding members of the band because it was their conversation and I don't want to mischaracterize them or their opinions. Plus, it was a disagreement about a profile and I really don't give a shit about something as meaningless as a disagreement about a fucking profile. We fill them out and we read them so that we can decide if we have an interest in the person behind the picture, not to confer sainthood on them.

IMPORTANT! - It is crucial at this moment to mention that to the best of my knowledge, during their exchange explanations were given and apologies were accepted. The conversation was ultimately very cordial, both players turned out to be very cool people, and the two said goodnight, each having come to respect the other's point of view. Awesome.

Please keep in mind that this is a wash, rinse, and 3rd person repeat account of the conversation. My understanding of it is as follows:
A Dom wrote a rather pointed and not very timid profile clearly outlining his greatest fetish: training subs who want to be broken, abused, and remade "perfect" by himself, all the while being used for his enjoyment and at his whim. Ok, I guess I can kinda see the allure of that. A sub then read it, didn't like it, and she fired off a solid condemnation of him and his point of view, calling him and his profile "disgusting." Her opinion was that he was one of them instas that has no knowledge or respect of the lifestyle and community.
Hers is an easy reaction to understand, and his (unnecessary) explanation was that having that sort of dynamic with that sort of sub is his biggest fetish. And it is interesting that, according to him, he has had many subs "Love" his ostensibly "disgusting" profile, and contact him with interest. I believe that because during my time in our community and in rl I have met enough people to know that it is not only possible, it is also not uncommon.

His profile was obviously not constructed at Build-a-Bear, his particular D/s style isn't really my ish, I've never read Insta-Dynamics for Dummies, and thankfully they got it all sorted. But if we are to say that KS is unacceptable can any of us truly have a problem with any profile - even it does come off as insta-dumbass as his?
Doesn't what she did count as shaming?
And if we go around balking at the things we see here, bitching about how one member fails to live up to our self-imposed standards of Domsmanship, or how another member falls well below even the lowest expectations of acceptable subbishness, aren't we judging their dynamic, and therefore their kinks, and shaming them in exactly the same manner that we hate when it happens to us?

Because if we are then I suggest that the templates for every profile and blog post, every forum, message, chat, and Bond, should prominently feature this warning sticker:

!CAUTION!

The following might hurt your feelings.
Maybe even real bad.
Continuing past this point indicates that you are a consenting adult who has already agreed to accept that risk, way back when you checked the box next to "I am legal, now let me in so I can get my kink on!"
If you do not agree with the above statement then immediately Stop, Block, and Roll.
(And maybe fuck off a little while you're at it.)

YES, I know there is a very big difference between KS and plain ol' not wanting to jump in someone else's bouncy house. I used to be a very active supporter of the "no kinks left behind" movement but lately I've kinda started to rethink that. I believe that sometimes it is actually overtly dishonest (and more than a little dumb) when you opt to switch from "Wait - you like to lick your own butthole? That's totally gross!" to "Uh oh, I don't want to threaten your already weakened sensibilities so instead I'll qualify that with 'unless its a fetish in which case I'm all for it' even though it's still totally gross."
YES, another option is not saying anything at all but if someone asks me if I like to lick my own butthole I'm probably not going to say "Sorry, no comment."
One is the truth, one is a lie, and one is conspicuously evasive.

Ok, I really don't give a fuck about anyone's opinion regarding my fetishes, or if anyone tells me they're gross. I'm ok with them, I own them, and I'm not ashamed. For now KS does exist, but hopefully someday no one will ever feel such a thing again.

And in the mean time none of us should ever forget that the Block button is right there begging to be pushed, and "go fuck yourself" is a mere few words away.

In a new radioactive sample the trick is recognizing which half has begun to decay first, and when.
But that can't really be determined until full decay is inevitable.
And it's all downhill from there.

I have decided to accept this 5 Things Challenge!

Thank you to Theandreas for issuing it, and to KB and LL for unintentionally making me aware of it.

This actually took a lot less time than I thought it would but sometimes I get to blogging and I can't stop...

5 things I like about myself:

1. My musical talent/ability: I play several instruments, compose, sing, used to play in a rock band, and occasionally still perform. I can often play songs after hearing them only a couple times, and I can transcribe and play pieces that somehow suddenly appear in my head. I'm pretty much awesome at all of it! (author's note - see dislike #4.)

2. My writing talent/ability: I've written many short stories, (started then never completed) 5 would-be novels, a play, was hired to polish someone else's screenplay, repeatedly blogged all over myself and others, and passed uncounted notes in class. I've even been known to pen some very, very bad poetry, but anybody can do that so my stuff is pretty forgettable. (author's note - see dislike #4 again.)

3. My friendliness: People like me. Animals like me. Fruits and vegetables like me. Luckily, I enjoy the company of most of these nutty characters. Minerals are notoriously stand-offish so I don't really know what they think of me, but I suspect we'd get along well.

4. My voice: I have a deep, relaxing voice and have made money using it.

5. My sense of humor: Seriously, I'm fucking hilarious!

AND NOW -

5 things I dislike about myself:

1. I hate that I don't get the point of visual art: Why would a person buy and hang a painting or photograph of a tree or a mountain or a sunset, or anything that they could just go outside and look at? I genuinely don't understand that - and as an artist I find that to be particularly bothersome.

2. I get way too territorial, overprotective, and even jealous: That's enough about that. Class dismissed.

4. My ego: It can't quite decide what it wants to be when it grows up. It's either too small, or too big, or too everything in-between. As you can see I kinda have a lot of ego to contend with. (author's note - see likes #1 and #2.)

5. I can never seem to finish procrastinating because I just keep putting it off until later.

5. Ok that last one was dumb so how about this: I'm very hard on my self whenever I don't do the "right thing" - as defined by own already too high standards for myself - especially if I don't do it immediately. A light turns off in my head and I start to feel like I've fucked up somehow.

4. My troubled relationship with numbers: Some days I can math like a motherfucker! Somedays I want to kick whoever invented numbers right square in the roots. Odd numbers are so cool that they should have their own comic books and movie franchises (complete with fully posable action figures) and I especially love prime numbers. But I don't even like even numbers because they seem puny and stupid by comparison.
And apparently today I'm really bad at counting.

(author's note - By strange coincidence, I actually gave this same challenge/task to someone special a few days ago!)

Somehow during the last 2 days I did something stupid.

 I am not sure what it was but the result is that I fucked up my back a little bit. Not a real big deal, but I will be spending more time in bed for the next couple days than I usually do.

 Alone. Which makes it even worse.

 So to all of my friends out there listening, please call me periodically and make sure I haven't fallen down and can't get up.

???

...when your alarm goes off so you roll over and hit snooze for please just 5 more minutes - but accidentally wake up anyway.

Dirty talk is like...

When you see a new sub and think "Ah yes, an opportunity to make a positive first impression."
So you oil up, slide into your tight Mr. Creepy pants, straighten the sleeves of your snappy blue blazer, comb your hair, check your breath, and prepare to fire off an irresistible opening message - then you remember that nowhere on her profile did it actually say "looking for a Dom who can rock a pair of tight Mr. Creepy pants."

So you adjust your tactics and instead send a message that reads:
"It's ok, don't be alarmed! See - I took my pants off!"

Guaranteed to never work every time.

(Author's note: no pants were injured during the writing of this story.)

Controlled humiliation. There, I said it.

Now add to that... The prying eyes of the public.

It is immensely satisfying to propel a sub to the point where she can no longer hold it in, and where the stakes are high if she goes beyond the egde. Toward the horizon of a flat world beyond which there be mystery. How long to the point of no return? And how better to test the waters than to sail amongst strangers.

However, though the risk of being caught is one of the main selling points, playing outside can get a bit sticky because it often requires a measure of discretion, which almost defeats the purpose of doing it.

Almost.

But there are plenty of methods and opportunities to play with our outdoor toys, and I'd like to share a few of my favorites which I either invented (as far as I know) or overheard at the monthly gathering of the DaVinci Code Doms Club.
(It's a thing. We have hats and jackets and everything.)

1. Get your sub primed and ready (whatever form that may take) stick a vibrating buttplug up her ass, position and power a fully charged lush within her, and take her out to dinner at a fancy restaurant (where it is unlikely there will be minors nearby.) Of course, the gentlemanly thing to do is to pull out her chair, see to it that she is seated comfortably, open the RC app on your phone, and wind her all the way back up to where she was before you left home. Once fully wound, make her explain to the server that her silverware is dirty, or order several drink refills, or slowly walk around the dining room sitting in all the empty chairs, or request that the entire desert menu be read to her. Twice.
All without anyone suspecting anything.

2. Force her to her knees and instruct her to do her job. At the proper moment, you cum down the front of her shirt. But wait - you need some grocery items! Tell her to go the store (think Walmart) select a cucumber, a zucchini, a bottle of lube, and to stand in the longest line. By the time she reaches the register and is ready to pay, the dried cum has stuck her spotted shirt to her chest, and everyone has seen what she is buying - but only the 2 of you will ever know why.

Before I go, I wish to share with you one last example.

3. About 5 years ago I had a sub who lived several states over. She was a wonderful girl, extremely loyal, and unfailingly obedient. As it happened she loved being humiliated in public. I picked out her clothes for the day - a comfortable, modest sundress with large open pockets on the sides. I loved that dress on her.
I called her at work later with very specific instructions. She was to go into the restroom, lock the door, remove her panties, sit on the counter and masturbate until she came. And she had to send proof to me via pic and vid. Simple. Fun.
Lastly, she was to clean herself with her panties, thoroughly clean the sink and counter, put her panties in her dress pocket, and return to her desk.
No one ever said anything to her, but she spent the rest of the day humiliated, wondering if anyone could tell what she had in her big open pocket.

Now I put it to you friendly fellow Cagers, tell me your favorite - or most humiliating - public play/display experiences.

It has been a trying week, but an end may be in sight.

Until last night there was only a small amount of fluid dripping pitifully from the tap, a weak stream barely flowing through the pipe.
3 days of no washing or showering or bathing or toileting, or however you relieve yourself when you're feeling especially dirty.

Finally, the powers that were never chosen to be, whoever they were, in their finite wisdom decided that the time had come to turn the water to my house back on.

I leapt into the shower and was able to scrub and rub and come out cleaner than I had been since Tuesday.
Then I stripped the sheets, dropped a load of laundry in the machine, washed the dishes.
As I mentioned to a good friend later in the evening - in defiance of mother nature I domesticated all over the bitch!

Of course, being able to get everything all wet made it easier, but the worst part of all was the cold. It was soooooo cold.

The heat had been off for approximately 24 hours. I had been alone the whole time and when it did come over me again, I screamed and writhed in satisfaction. It was over. I made it through a long night of no heat.

And no thanks to the limp dick who is supposed to be controlling the joint. While he was off getting his his sphincter bleached during a suspiciously-timed vacay, I was rocking a wicked chafe on my inner thighs due to the friction of rubbing against my ever-shriveling testi-cicles.

Then this happened:

Stiff from cold, I searched for a warm spot under the covers to retreat into until I was satisfied and ready to move on.
I could barely get myself up long enough to make it to the kitchen for a cup of coffee, but eventually the heat returned to my bones and I rose.

Thinking about the Walking Sleeping bag that someone has been threatening to give me as a birthday present, my mind drifted and I tumbled headlong over the living room table.
I heard a bone-chilling sound, not unlike the sound a rock-hard stalagmite makes when it snaps in half. Fearing the worst, I frantically checked to see if I had cracked an ice pube. Fortunately I had not, and the noise I heard was only the splintering of the polished oak table.

Yes, my sack street boys had frozen solid, enough so that they broke the hardwood on contact.

It was petrifying.
An icy moment like that tends to bring the mind into focus; makes the darkest, sickest fancies less taboo. It forces the body to stand taller by erecting a tower to ward against any future sack attack; a sheath to protect against any further issue.

As of last night the electricity, power, and water are all on, and even the wifi is back up and running.
It has been a trying week, but an end may be in sight.

Despite all that, today is not one that will live in infamy. But I have experienced very few dates that will.

A heartfelt Thank You! to all my people for sending well-wishes and good vibes to me and everyone in Texas as we freeze our unwashed tits off.

???????

lj