5 years ago. November 28, 2019 at 2:30 PM
Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today to give spanks to (insert spankees name/names here) and to reflect on all the many people and things to be spankful for.
I'd like to take this opportunity to spank all the wonderful weirdos that have tolerated me here, and sort of eyeroll all the people in my lesser-flavored life.
You know, as we stand here, glasses raised, spanking eachother for another year of whatever nonsense weve gotten up to I am heartwarmed to be surrounded by so many spankful people.
If somehow I have not spanked you personally please know that in my heart I spank each of you everyday.
Spank you very very kindly,
-me
