A few weeks ago I responded to a person about being so hooked on someone that you just cant put them down and walk away. This person described it as an addiction. I agreed and thought to share my reply.
Addiction to someone. Yeah. Been there.
It hurts so bad to not see them. It may hurt even worse to see them but still not hear from them. You try to convince yourself that it would be easier to just block the person, so at least you can tell yourself that the silence is your doing, not theirs. You wonder - were they actually trying to contact you the whole time they were blocked, If only you hadn't... Like a phone call you fear you missed every time you checked the phone just to make sure it was working so that you wouldn't miss their call. Because of the distance apart there is no door that you can just knock on; no doorbell that you could just ring. No body in front of you. No face to look at. No eyes to drown in. And perhaps the hardest part: Do they still want me? Do they even remember me? I can't move on but maybe they already did?
So you wait and hope. There is always hope.
Hope is the worst part. Hope is all that's left.
Addiction to someone. Yeah. Been there.
(11/15/2019)
