A Dom's Tale ~ The journey there and back again

It was the early 80's,  just finishing up my USAF basic training at Lackland AFB  in San Antonio.  A band whose name I cannot recall was playing at the Airmans Club, it was our last base liberty before graduation and our flight being dispersed to the needs of the service. The band played the most haunting song, with a slow rhythmic beat... the lyrics I will never forget, and it seems so appropriate a theme song for my search for her....

In a time,

Before our time,

I was yours...

and you were mine.

Though the circle,

stops and bends,

when it stops,

it just begins...

VS 

A recent experience made me reflect on some of the basics .. you know, the simple things we just assume people know and we take for granted.  This is one of those moments.  We ( a new person just beginning and I) were discussing various "toys" we might enjoy, and the subject of handcuffs came up... I will describe the scene as best as my amateur writing can ....

I asked her to stand up, and blindfolded her (with consent naturally), then from behind I guided her hands to her back, and handcuffed them. She seemed a bit turned on by this, so I suggested we try the other way as well. I removed the handcuffs, and taking a length of soft cotton rope,  I slowly formed the "S" shape between her hands, allowing the rope to slide across her skin with each pass. Then I wrapped the middle to form the bind, and the "cuffs" were complete. To finish securing them, I stood up behind her, pressing lightly against her as I made a few loops around her body, above and just below her breasts, while keeping my head next to hers from behind, softly yet purposely breathing a bit heavy against her neck as I wrapped her arms and body before securing the final knot.

I asked her which method she preferred, and I bet you already know the answer...

You can restrain somebody with a pair of handcuffs easily enough, but with a little imagination and purposeful movements, you can achieve the same goal yet it is much more more fun for both of you to take your time and do it right    

I had a wooden plaque many years ago, that had this poem on it,  it always seemed to give me strength in my youth, and a sense of being, a sense that all would be all right no matter the current crisis - I would like to share it with you all... :)

Desiderata was written in 1927 by Max Ehrmann, a poet and lawyer from Terre Haute, Indiana. The word desiderata means “things that are desired.” Ehrmann said he wrote it for himself, “because it counsels those virtues I felt most in need of.” These virtues have been valued by countless others as Desiderata rose in popularity in the late ’60s and early ’70s. It is making a strong comeback today, as parents and grandparents are passing along this wisdom to their loved ones.

Desidereta By Max Ehrmann © 1927

GO PLACIDLY amid the noise and the haste, and remember what peace there may be in silence. As far as possible, without surrender, be on good terms with all persons.

Speak your truth quietly and clearly; and listen to others, even to the dull and the ignorant; they too have their story.

Avoid loud and aggressive persons; they are vexatious to the spirit. If you compare yourself with others, you may become vain or bitter, for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.

Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans. Keep interested in your own career, however humble; it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.

Exercise caution in your business affairs, for the world is full of trickery. But let this not blind you to what virtue there is; many persons strive for high ideals, and everywhere life is full of heroism.

Be yourself. Especially do not feign affection. Neither be cynical about love; for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment, it is as perennial as the grass.

Take kindly the counsel of the years, gracefully surrendering the things of youth.

Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune. But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings. Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.

Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here.

And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should. Therefore be at peace with God, whatever you conceive Him to be. And whatever your labors and aspirations, in the noisy confusion of life, keep peace in your soul. With all its sham, drudgery and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world. Be cheerful. Strive to be happy.

   It was a date like any other date. Well, almost like any other date that is. The hostess greeted us with one of those "I have to" smiles, and I gestured for her to follow the hostess to our table. As I walked behind her, I could not help but steal a few glances at the subtle, gentle side to side sway of her skirt as it clung to her oh so feminine curves.  I pulled out her chair for her, as I was raised to do, and she gracefully took her seat. Always a lady, and for this date at least,  my lady.  But unlike I was raised, I gave her a smile as I pictured what it might be like to raise that skirt and land a couple well deserved shots to that swaying picture perfect ass that had been walking in front of me. She gave me slight smile as I slid her chair up to the table, slightly jealous of the good fortune the chair was having.. lol.

   The wine came first, followed by the appetizer and main dish.  What did we have? I have no clue, something with a great Italian name, but nothing that really is burned into my memory.  We had some small talk, spoke of things we had done and wanted to do, so very very vanilla conversation.  It was what was happening in my mind that I recall the most.  Looking at her eyes as the light bounced off them, sparkling more than the wine. Her hands, so soft, gentle, elegantly in motion. Everything about her was alluring, enticing, entrapping.  She was vibrant, intelligent, seductive, and well aware of it. After dinner we talked some more, finishing up the bottle of wine before heading to the door.  I led her to the truck, opening the doors of course, and stealing some more glances, feeling like a kid swiping a tootsie roll at the drug store.

    I asked her if she would like to come over for a time, or should I take her back to her place. She gave a coy little smile and informed me there was nothing she wanted to do at her place, but would not mind some more wine. So we drove to my house, more vanilla along the way. Once inside, I set the lights to a dim hue, and the giant screen to a fireplace scene, so we could continue our conversation.  I poured the wine and settled in next to her, when out of the blue came a question I was not prepared for.... "So tell me", she said with  a nervous smile, "what do you use that rope for?", as she pointed at the cord of  colored jute I had mistakenly left sitting out after practicing some new ties two nights before.

   My mind raced for an answer to explain it away, to make it a normal object for this vanilla conversation, but how do you do that...lol. "Nothing not mutually agreed upon" I answered with a half smile. This opened a door in the conversation, and before I knew it, we were talking about how rope could be used in a relationship, or even just for a night for that matter. We talked of dark fantasys and secret pleasures..., hers and mine alike.. It was obvious she had never been active in the lifestyle, but it was equally obvious she had a strong desire to explore it... I finally confessed that it had been a part of my life for some time, a revelation that sent her into a flurry of questions..... 

   I agreed to answer her questions only if she allowed me to explain the answers my way. She agreed with reservations, and posed the first question... "Why use rope? wouldn't it be easier and faster to just used restraints such as handcuffs?" Certainly, I replied, but allow me to demonstrate. I retrieved some toys from the playroom, and told her she would have to trust me to understand.  I gently tied a silk blindfold about her head, and moved in behind her.  I took her hands one after the other and secured them with a pair of handcuffs, as she let out a small sigh. Now how does that feel I asked of her...... exciting! she replied almost immediately. 

  I released the handcuffs as I instructed her to remain blindfolded. Taking a rather long piece of rope,  I put her hands behind her back again, and slowly created the "S" shape of rope between her hands, letting the rope flow over her hands with each loop before closing the loops in center, securing her hands.  With the second length of rope, I positioned myself behind her, pressing against her lightly as I wrapped the rope around her body, just below and above her obviously excited breasts before looping it around her neck to finish outlining her perfect chest. "now tell me my dear, which experience do you prefer?"

    Before she could utter her answer, the lights began to get brighter and brighter,  and I heard the all too familiar voice of Alexa wishing me a good morning, and rattling off the news and forecasts of the day.... it was a wonderful day really, I smiled all the way through it.... :)

Slightly modified to fit my needs, but it fits ... The search begins anew! Lets start with a broad stroke! Whats the "end game", when all is said and done, what do I hope to have found? This will do! No, it's not the most masculine song on the planet, and yes I am fully cognizant of the fact that it is downright mushy, and even borders on a delusional fantasy, but hey .. it's MY world, and this is what I want! Lyrics from an old 70's song......Slightly modified to fit my needs, but it fits ... 

Shine on me sunshine
Walk with me world
It's a skippidity do da day
I'm the happiest Dom, in the whole U.S.A

Good morning morning
Hello sunshine
Wake up sleepy head
Why'd we move that bojangle clock so far away from the bed
Just one more minute
That's why we moved it
One more hug would do
Do you love waking up next to me
As much as I love waking up next to you

You make the coffee
I'll make the bed
I'll fix your lunch
And you fix mine
Now tell me the truth
Do these old shoes look funny
Honey it's almost nine
Now you be careful
Gotta go, I love you
Have a beautiful day
And kiss the happiest Dom, in the whole U.S.A

'

   Ever wonder what life would be like as a comet? Blazing through the heavens at breakneck speeds, past wonders so magnificent and horrors so dark your mortal mind you now posses could not handle the merest fraction of exposure to them, let alone truly comprehend and process the moment?  Barreling through the cosmos magnificently unopposed, with a light so bright any who gaze upon you directly would lose their sight for having had the privilege of gazing upon you?

   Well, that's exactly how life is. One day you are 20, carefree, wide eyed, optimistic, ten feet tall, and bulletproof. Then in the smallest measurable fraction of time by galactic standards, you find yourself on the backside of 30, a bit more realistic, alot more complicated, and definitely becoming more aware of life on this little pebble in space as you gaze at your children in absolute awe. Then you begin to feel the pull of life upon you, as certain as a giant dwarf star, gently yet consistently tugging at you, pulling you from the course you had set, realigning your destiny into areas unknown.

   The flicker of time flashes again, and you are past 45.  Your children are grown,  your brilliance has diminished somewhat as it was necessary to place so much energy into your children to assure THEY would have their own wonder filled journey, but you know it was energy well spent. Time is catching up with you now, you begin to see the end really is possible as friends, foes, and strangers paths intersect with various types of interstellar bodies, as Rush so eloquently put it "In a final flash of glory... Nevermore ...to grace ...the night."

   Eventually it will be your turn, you know it, and you feel it as the inescapable law of mathematics  so accurately predicts the longer you stay in motion, the greater the chances of your turn coming are. but you cannot come to a stop either, because everything else is in motion, and your odds remain the same.... so we continue, past adversity, pain, suffering and hardship. We endure the setbacks for the hope of experiencing the victories and pleasures beyond our comprehension. As long as we continue, we know we will always see both.... so we continue...

   Such a day is today. The sun does not shine brilliantly over the majestic mountains of my life, it peers through the final remnants of a necessary storm. What I had hoped would be another celestial traveler I had randomly encountered that could forge the journey with me, to blaze through the cosmos by my side and I by hers, I had to let journey on alone, to find her own destiny for reasons I will not disclose here. The parting was amicable, no harsh words of hatred exchanged, we saw each other for a brief, ever too brief, flash in time in the cosmos, and now head our separate ways. 

   So the storm clouds are blocking most all of my sunshine today, but the hope and promise of a new day shines through as the sun of my life once again begins to dissipate the clouds in my path which must be cleared before I continue, as random sunbeams of hope pierce the darkness and dance upon my soul, reminding me for a flash of the warmth that is possible if I continue . I am leaving this lighted harmonious world I thought I found, and once again attempt to chart my course in some infantile belief that I alone can choose the course, free from forces changing it for me,  before blazing upward into the cosmos to continue on my solitary journey, picking up speed as I go, once again beginning the search anew, taking with me the fond memories and comforting thoughts of a new found friend...

~K~

Life has it's little mysteries, it's own way of leading us and guiding us to newfound worlds inside our own little corner of time. Such is this day.  Last night was like any New Years Eve, The clock was ticking, the ball in New York was waiting to drop, the midwestern wind was howling outside, and the clock was making it's way toward a New Year and decade like so many times before.

Then, from out of the blue, the little mail indicator popped up here on The Cage. The message was simplistic in nature, straight forward and to the point.  It merely inquired "Are you looking for a sub?".  I did the normal check, read the profile before considering a reply, and the profile was brand new. Yes, I know what this normally indicates, but something odd inside my soul urged me to at least reply, so in kind fashion I simply replied "yes".

Now I had replied to a few of the classifieds on here,and posted my own as well,  most all with no reply, the rest that did not work out past a message or two... so The Cage was not some place I was anticipating finding a new dynamic, just good friends, good people, and good advice.  What followed next, even now in reflection still amazes me.  After a few messages back and forth between us,  I began to realize that somehow, I might actually have found a person I enjoyed talking to, in my proximity, ( and trust me, SE Iowa is not an area overpopulated with potential partners), who I would genuinely like to explore the possibility of a dynamic with!

We chatted back and forth until the same clock that had welcomed a New Decade into my life also reminded me that it was far past time to go to bed.  By the end of the conversation, to my utter amazement, I had done something characteristically unlike me. I had suggested to this fascinating surprise of a new decade that we explore a dynamic together, each free to exit at will with no ill feelings, and she had agreed!  I reflected back on a scene in "Remember the Titans" when the linebacker said " Listen, when something unexpected comes, you just got to pick it up and run with it."

Yes, we are definitely in the infantile stages of exploring, just barely knowing other at all, and hoping for the best. And who knows what the future holds? Not I for certain, but I am compelled to explore this new world,  to see what may become,  I am determined to enter it with my eyes wide open, one step at a time, slowly and deliberately taking each step together to the clicking sounds of the clock that ushered in this new experience.

~K~

In case you missed it .. I had alot of fun writing this, and reflection!

Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the hub,
Not a creature was stirring, not even my sub;

She was tied in her stockings in my dungeon with care,
With the hope that her Daddy, soon would be there;

Her bottom was paddled, now many shades of red,
;While the thought of an orgasm, danced in her head.
With my sub damn near naked,  and me in my cap,
I’d just settled her down, for some swats on my lap,

When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter,
I sprang from the dungeon to see what was the matter.
Away from the windows, so no neighbor we’d flash,
Placed my hand on her bottom, still warm as fresh ash,

The moon on her breasts on my sub white as snow
Got me just a bit horny from my head to my toe,,
When, what to my wondering eyes should appear,
But a miniature sleigh, and eight tiny reindeer,

With a little old driver, so lively and quick,
I knew in a moment it must be St. Nick.
I glanced at the clock, and it started to chime,

We were up way too late, now we had no more time.

My wishes I’d asked for raced through my mind,

Here we were wide awake, Santas here, in a bind.

We both were aware if he saw us awake,

Our tree would be barren, even though it was fake.

We dashed for the bedroom, got there in a tick,

But just too damn slow, racing good ol’ St. Nick.

He’d caught us awake, now the presents were lost,

But Santa just smiled, we all knew the cost.

My sub started weeping, laying there on the bed,

I knew in an instant, what had to be said.

Please Santa, I pleaded, it was not her fault,

I kept her awake, tied up by the vault.

She gives me so much, and asks for so little,

Her last Dom was cruel, he’d berate and belittle.

The gifts we have asked for, seem odd to the norm,

But I must find them, her heart to keep warm.

They’re paddles and crops, and tools for the top,

And blankets and cocoa, and things for sub drops

And nighties and leathers, and great stuff to wear,

Along with some comforts for great aftercare.

These things that we asked for, perhaps way too much,

Are things that we need, they’re not just a crutch.

He looked at my sub, so gentle and pure,

Then gave me a glance, as if to assure.

“my boy you are blind, it’s so easy to see,

But take some advice, from an old man like me.

All the toys in the world, would not be enough,

Not the whips or paddles or padded handcuffs,

The gift that is lent you, that rests in your hands,

This act of submission, belongs to no man.

For you see I have seen her, battered and weak,

With a heart so shattered, she just could not speak.

With her body and soul, and mind under attack,

So close to the end, with no will to fight back.

She has travelled a road, not many could walk,

In search of “a true one” not bullshit and talk.

Her soul has survived it, these heartbroken tours,

Not perfect for certain, but neither is yours.

The power within her, shines blinding and bright,

If you could just see it, if only one night.

A tear slowly rolled, down Santas red cheek,

He brushed back her hair, then again he did speak.

Take care of her son, protect her and pray,

Shelter her heart, and do not fade away.

Keep her and hold her and make her feel safe,

And worship the gift that you hold on  this day.