A Dom's Tale ~ The journey there and back again

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   Ever wonder what life would be like as a comet? Blazing through the heavens at breakneck speeds, past wonders so magnificent and horrors so dark your mortal mind you now posses could not handle the merest fraction of exposure to them, let alone truly comprehend and process the moment?  Barreling through the cosmos magnificently unopposed, with a light so bright any who gaze upon you directly would lose their sight for having had the privilege of gazing upon you?

   Well, that's exactly how life is. One day you are 20, carefree, wide eyed, optimistic, ten feet tall, and bulletproof. Then in the smallest measurable fraction of time by galactic standards, you find yourself on the backside of 30, a bit more realistic, alot more complicated, and definitely becoming more aware of life on this little pebble in space as you gaze at your children in absolute awe. Then you begin to feel the pull of life upon you, as certain as a giant dwarf star, gently yet consistently tugging at you, pulling you from the course you had set, realigning your destiny into areas unknown.

   The flicker of time flashes again, and you are past 45.  Your children are grown,  your brilliance has diminished somewhat as it was necessary to place so much energy into your children to assure THEY would have their own wonder filled journey, but you know it was energy well spent. Time is catching up with you now, you begin to see the end really is possible as friends, foes, and strangers paths intersect with various types of interstellar bodies, as Rush so eloquently put it "In a final flash of glory... Nevermore ...to grace ...the night."

   Eventually it will be your turn, you know it, and you feel it as the inescapable law of mathematics  so accurately predicts the longer you stay in motion, the greater the chances of your turn coming are. but you cannot come to a stop either, because everything else is in motion, and your odds remain the same.... so we continue, past adversity, pain, suffering and hardship. We endure the setbacks for the hope of experiencing the victories and pleasures beyond our comprehension. As long as we continue, we know we will always see both.... so we continue...

   Such a day is today. The sun does not shine brilliantly over the majestic mountains of my life, it peers through the final remnants of a necessary storm. What I had hoped would be another celestial traveler I had randomly encountered that could forge the journey with me, to blaze through the cosmos by my side and I by hers, I had to let journey on alone, to find her own destiny for reasons I will not disclose here. The parting was amicable, no harsh words of hatred exchanged, we saw each other for a brief, ever too brief, flash in time in the cosmos, and now head our separate ways. 

   So the storm clouds are blocking most all of my sunshine today, but the hope and promise of a new day shines through as the sun of my life once again begins to dissipate the clouds in my path which must be cleared before I continue, as random sunbeams of hope pierce the darkness and dance upon my soul, reminding me for a flash of the warmth that is possible if I continue . I am leaving this lighted harmonious world I thought I found, and once again attempt to chart my course in some infantile belief that I alone can choose the course, free from forces changing it for me,  before blazing upward into the cosmos to continue on my solitary journey, picking up speed as I go, once again beginning the search anew, taking with me the fond memories and comforting thoughts of a new found friend...

~K~

Life has it's little mysteries, it's own way of leading us and guiding us to newfound worlds inside our own little corner of time. Such is this day.  Last night was like any New Years Eve, The clock was ticking, the ball in New York was waiting to drop, the midwestern wind was howling outside, and the clock was making it's way toward a New Year and decade like so many times before.

Then, from out of the blue, the little mail indicator popped up here on The Cage. The message was simplistic in nature, straight forward and to the point.  It merely inquired "Are you looking for a sub?".  I did the normal check, read the profile before considering a reply, and the profile was brand new. Yes, I know what this normally indicates, but something odd inside my soul urged me to at least reply, so in kind fashion I simply replied "yes".

Now I had replied to a few of the classifieds on here,and posted my own as well,  most all with no reply, the rest that did not work out past a message or two... so The Cage was not some place I was anticipating finding a new dynamic, just good friends, good people, and good advice.  What followed next, even now in reflection still amazes me.  After a few messages back and forth between us,  I began to realize that somehow, I might actually have found a person I enjoyed talking to, in my proximity, ( and trust me, SE Iowa is not an area overpopulated with potential partners), who I would genuinely like to explore the possibility of a dynamic with!

We chatted back and forth until the same clock that had welcomed a New Decade into my life also reminded me that it was far past time to go to bed.  By the end of the conversation, to my utter amazement, I had done something characteristically unlike me. I had suggested to this fascinating surprise of a new decade that we explore a dynamic together, each free to exit at will with no ill feelings, and she had agreed!  I reflected back on a scene in "Remember the Titans" when the linebacker said " Listen, when something unexpected comes, you just got to pick it up and run with it."

Yes, we are definitely in the infantile stages of exploring, just barely knowing other at all, and hoping for the best. And who knows what the future holds? Not I for certain, but I am compelled to explore this new world,  to see what may become,  I am determined to enter it with my eyes wide open, one step at a time, slowly and deliberately taking each step together to the clicking sounds of the clock that ushered in this new experience.

~K~

In case you missed it .. I had alot of fun writing this, and reflection!

Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the hub,
Not a creature was stirring, not even my sub;

She was tied in her stockings in my dungeon with care,
With the hope that her Daddy, soon would be there;

Her bottom was paddled, now many shades of red,
;While the thought of an orgasm, danced in her head.
With my sub damn near naked,  and me in my cap,
I’d just settled her down, for some swats on my lap,

When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter,
I sprang from the dungeon to see what was the matter.
Away from the windows, so no neighbor we’d flash,
Placed my hand on her bottom, still warm as fresh ash,

The moon on her breasts on my sub white as snow
Got me just a bit horny from my head to my toe,,
When, what to my wondering eyes should appear,
But a miniature sleigh, and eight tiny reindeer,

With a little old driver, so lively and quick,
I knew in a moment it must be St. Nick.
I glanced at the clock, and it started to chime,

We were up way too late, now we had no more time.

My wishes I’d asked for raced through my mind,

Here we were wide awake, Santas here, in a bind.

We both were aware if he saw us awake,

Our tree would be barren, even though it was fake.

We dashed for the bedroom, got there in a tick,

But just too damn slow, racing good ol’ St. Nick.

He’d caught us awake, now the presents were lost,

But Santa just smiled, we all knew the cost.

My sub started weeping, laying there on the bed,

I knew in an instant, what had to be said.

Please Santa, I pleaded, it was not her fault,

I kept her awake, tied up by the vault.

She gives me so much, and asks for so little,

Her last Dom was cruel, he’d berate and belittle.

The gifts we have asked for, seem odd to the norm,

But I must find them, her heart to keep warm.

They’re paddles and crops, and tools for the top,

And blankets and cocoa, and things for sub drops

And nighties and leathers, and great stuff to wear,

Along with some comforts for great aftercare.

These things that we asked for, perhaps way too much,

Are things that we need, they’re not just a crutch.

He looked at my sub, so gentle and pure,

Then gave me a glance, as if to assure.

“my boy you are blind, it’s so easy to see,

But take some advice, from an old man like me.

All the toys in the world, would not be enough,

Not the whips or paddles or padded handcuffs,

The gift that is lent you, that rests in your hands,

This act of submission, belongs to no man.

For you see I have seen her, battered and weak,

With a heart so shattered, she just could not speak.

With her body and soul, and mind under attack,

So close to the end, with no will to fight back.

She has travelled a road, not many could walk,

In search of “a true one” not bullshit and talk.

Her soul has survived it, these heartbroken tours,

Not perfect for certain, but neither is yours.

The power within her, shines blinding and bright,

If you could just see it, if only one night.

A tear slowly rolled, down Santas red cheek,

He brushed back her hair, then again he did speak.

Take care of her son, protect her and pray,

Shelter her heart, and do not fade away.

Keep her and hold her and make her feel safe,

And worship the gift that you hold on  this day.

The journey began with a simple relationship, and one night while resting her head upon my chest before we went to sleep, I was stroking her hair gently to calm the migrane which had overtaken her, and she gently whispered "sometime, I'd like you to spank me". The request seemed an odd thing, but I filed it away and we fell to sleep. The next day I opened the subject with her, and she began telling me dark secrets of kitten play, light bondage, spanking and other secret desires.

We began exploring these things, and I began some serious research on exactly what this thing was she wanted me to be a part of.  In my history, these things were done only by deranged and abusive people, I had the movie goers (pre 50 shades) view of this world. As I read and researched,  I learned what it meant to be involved in such a thing, how the bonds were pure at heart,  and the trust in such a relationship unquestionable. The particular relationship that got me involved sadly failed over time, but I was left with an entire new world to explore and learn about.

I learned alot about myself in this exploration, of who I was and wanted to be. I learned that for a woman to offer you her submission was akin to finding the lost treasure of Xanadu. A treasure that cannot be owned or possessed, merely held in the hands it was given to, placed there by trust and understanding once you have earned the right to hold it, Simply put.. the greatest gift one person may give another if it is true.

So for my first blog entry, I offer the lyrics to a song that I've always loved, but never truly understood its true meaning until I got to know myself better ....

~~ To Be a Man~~
      by Boston

What does it take to be a man?
What does it take to see
It's all heart and soul
A gentle hand
So easy to want and so hard to give
How can you be a man
'Til you see beyond the life you live?
Oh, what does it take to be a man?

We can be blind, but a man tries to see
It takes tenderness
For a man to be what he can be
And what does it mean
If you're weak or strong?
A gentle feelin'
can make it right or make it wrong
What does it take to be a man?

The will to give and not receive
The strength to say what you believe
The heart to feel what others feel inside
To see what they can see

A man is somethin' that's real
It's not what you are
It's what you can feel
It can't be too late
To look through the hate and see
I know that's what a man can be