I first read those words over three decades ago, they echoed and entrenched themselves into my being then, they instantly became a cornerstone principle as an example of who I wanted to be, what sort of person I must strive to become. And they still carry a tremendous amount of weight with me today. Dare I say, they are many times more important to me now that I am in the lifestyle than ever before.
I was speaking to a very nice lady a couple of nights ago that I met on here. She was very new to the lifestyle, and to this website as well. I was totally at peace and relaxed chatting with her via text, and even moreso when it turned to an actual voice call later in the night. None of my normal red flags popped up, no warning sounds in my head or heart, and I found myself truly enjoying the chat with her. She had, as I am sure most of the subs on here do, been overwhelmed with insta doms pm'ing the newbie, making asses of themselves, and generally painting a poor picture and horrid future of the lifestyle in general.
So then along comes me, and I was unusually overexcited to be talking to her, and I am certain it shone right thru. But, I did my best to explain to her what the lifestyle is really about, and some of the wonders and pleasures that finding a dynamic might bring to her life is she chose to pursue this new found interest of hers. I attempted to convey to her how a true Dom holds, honors, and cherishes submission when it is offered, and how meaningless terms like "Sir" or "Master" or any of the others are if they are not earned by the Dom.
I tried to explain how playtime is a perk of the true bdsm dynamic, not the reason for it, how trust is an EARNED cornerstone of the dynamic, that takes time and commitment on the parts of both Dom and sub. Now I am more than certain I did alot more talking than listening..lol. She was very attentive and polite and courteous throughout the call. Toward the end of the call, I regained my previously fluctuating self control (an effect most females do NOT have on me..lol) and reminded myself that she was a brand new member of the community, and her head was probably spinning with all the information (from my perspective) that I had shared. So the time had come to be pulling back a bit on my part, and I simply said I thought she should think about what she really wants to do, and if she had interest in my direction after making those decisions, to let me know.
Now do I know what will come of all this? Of course not, but..she did get a clearer picture of the Dom behind the keys than mere writings could provide. And who knows .. she may just decide the lifestyle is better lived though in movies than in real life and return to vanilla ville, or purse things with somebody else ... all her choices and decisions, and I of course respect them all, and at least hope in the end of all things,,I helped her find her way if nothing else.
So now we come to the title of this Blog, and what it means in regard to this lifestyle. Some of us blog to clear our minds, seek advice, and at times offer insight for other members of our community. and sometimes, we get thank you's in our pm's and blog comments, that for whatever reason, you reached somebody and helped with your writings. To those who have thanked me, let me reiterate - “In accepting the Gift you Honor the Giver.” I am both grateful and honored to have been of service in any capacity.
Now, If you, as a Dom, TRULY are offered your sub's submission, know in your heart that accepting that gift, that all too rare gem, you had better make DAMN SURE your sub is feeling (and being) honored through your gratitude and actions, or ... imho, you don't deserve to hold it in he first place. We don't accept submission like a parking pass at Six Flags, stuff it in our pockets with a quick thanks and then off to the playroom. It must be cherished, earned, respected, protected, encouraged, and developed. It is not a piece of candy, it is the ultimate gift in the lifestyle, and must always be treated as such, so that the giver never doubts the honor it bestows.
Just another rambling I suppose ....
~ID~
