Complete submission??

        For these 72 hours I was his and I would serve him well. I only hoped I could make him proud. He came back to me with a rope and tied a noose, he saw the me flinch only the tiniest bit. He laughed gaining pleasure from my anxiety, the fear I know flashed in my eyes and he reveled in it. he placed the noose around my neck and the other end on the hook. I think I whimpered a bit, involuntarily he looked at me. Remember YOU asked for this don’t fucking complain now. I knew he was right, and I would do this I would suffer for him in silence, I would be a good girl. He went slow raising the rope little by little until my toes were the only thing floor. My brain started to panic I knew it was in my best interest not to thrash around so I fought it. I glanced at him and he was my calm. I knew I wouldn’t die not here, not with him. This man bringing me my destruction would not kill me I took comfort in that. I looked in his eyes and I calmed, seeing his excitement and how alive this made him feel gave me resolve. My brain was trying to panic. Why was it taking so long to pass out? Is something wrong? The pressure in my head was almost unbearable as I hung there my entire weight just about supported by a rope around my neck. I think I prefer manual strangulation, I giggled in my head, must be the lack of oxygen I can barely get in a breath now. Just look at me. I heard the words not entirely sure they had been spoken or in my head, but it was the sound of his voice, so I obeyed.

        Euphoria set in and everything began to dim. I closed my eyes as the world drifted away. I woke to a sharp pain on the side of my face and it took me a second to remember where I was. Then it came back to me, my eyes flew open to him above me hand raised back to slap me again. I grinned I really love asphyxiation I’m glad I agreed to this new experience. This one was for me as well as him. Good slave he told me as I got a hold of myself. I got a tingle up my spine as he said these words, I was beginning to live for his praise. He handed the bottle of water to me. I drank and it hurt to sallow. I flinched but didn’t complain I must remember I asked for this. He got to his feet, I got to my knees waiting for his words his commands. Come he said as he walked over to a chair and sat. I knew what I was to do I hurriedly crawled on my knees to his feet and remembered not to touch him, I liked my teeth. And took him into my mouth fucking him with my throat. I sucked his cock vigorously. I wanted to moan but I didn’t, his wrath wasn’t something I wanted to endure at that moment. I serviced him for a long time wanting to please him my jaw was sore and tired my throat raw, but I didn’t dare stop. More than once he grabbed my hair and forced himself deep in my throat making small thrusts keeping his cock deep in there blocking sweet oxygen until the moment just before I passed out, bringing to the edge and pulling me back to push me back again.

When he had came in my throat for the fourth time, he stood pulling me to my feet by my hair dragging me to a pull-out couch with the mattress removed. The frame looked cold and unforgiving. You know what we are going to do now? I shook my head from side to side. Well we are going to try the very thing you’ve been dying to try, been begging me for. I am going to electrocute you now.  He was right I had begged, through all out all our messages I mentioned it several times. I wanted to feel electricity run through my body. Now that the moment had come, I was terrified. I looked up at him wide eyed, breathing hard, hyperventilating. I fought against my urge to move away I fought against my brain screaming at me to run. He looked down at me amused. He was enjoying my fear, was so palpable in the air he could probably smell and taste it, he the predator, me the willing prey, a beautiful balance. In this moment he was MY sadist, I was HIS masochist and we needed each other. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath finding my resolve. I would not die here; this is just pain and WE need it.

     I glanced down and saw bruises on bruises, this gave me an odd satisfaction. I liked seeing the physical representation of my pain. He told me to be still once again. The anticipation was killing me, my heart was racing. When he got back to me, he took the cane he held in his hand and slid it between my thighs. He swung it back and forth, so it stripped both my inner thighs I let out a shriek. He lowered my arms and I stood on my whole foot for the first time in hours they were sore. If he had let the hook down all the way I knew I would have fallen into a heap on to the floor. He told me to spread my legs I did. He came around to face me showing me what he held, anal hook. I was terrified, slightly aroused (no one said I was sane ok) it took me by surprise I didn’t realize I could be in this much pain for hours and still get aroused. Bend over he told me I did. He had put lube on the steel ball on the end of the hook and rubbed it against my ass first spreading the lube. Then he went to work forcing it slowly inside of me. I squirmed and wriggled a bit it was painful so painful I was panting hard, but as it finally slid in it felt good.

     Too good and uncomfortable at the same time I could feel it stretching me. I wanted to move but I didn’t want to move it was an overwhelming sensation to feel so much at one time. This is why I was here, to feel, I closed my eyes and really felt it really soaked it up. I am a masochist I enjoy pain this is why I was created, and, in that moment, I knew it more than I had ever felt it. I was still bent over it was an awkward angle hands still bound above my head arms bent back at an odd angle because I was bent over. Master has a pulley system rigged to the ceiling, so he released a rope from above and attached it to my hook. The pressure was almost unbearable as he raised my ass just enough to put me back on the balls of my feet and he knew as he chuckled, I would not move. Then I felt it. the sting of a thin cane. It felt as if it cut me to the bone, but I knew it hadn’t. And so, it continued for a while. I was crying, tears streaming down my face. Each swing felt like it was stripping my flesh from my bones it was unbearable and beautiful. By the time he was done with that I was almost catatonic, tears streamed out of my eyes soundlessly as he pulled the hook from my ass I flinched. He was enjoying my pain and I was enjoying his joy. I was his to use and there wasn’t anywhere I would have rather been. Knowing I was serving him made the pain tolerable it gave me purpose. I’m going to let your arms down whore.

       He said it gave me enough time to brace my self my legs felt like jelly. I hoped I had been good enough and pleased him well. I wanted to collapse but I knew I couldn’t not yet. He didn’t untie my hands and said if you touch me or try to stop me I will back hand you so hard will fall out on the floor which would serve me just fine no teeth equal easier throat raping, you will be choking on your own blood and my cock, do you understand slave? I nodded terrified. Good slut he told me as he grabbed my hair and pulled me to my knees, I gasped out as they hit the ground from the canning I had just received. He shoved his cock deep in my throat I could not breathe. Fast and hard he raped my throat and I held still not moving a muscle. I was terrified that if I did, I would get punished. He shoved it so far down and held it there until I passed out again, he revived me and got right back to it. He came in my throat hard and I knew it wasn’t the end.  Damn, I looked at the timer. I’ve been here for twenty hours only fifty -two to go. He stood me up and gave me some water I was grateful. Stand still he instructed, I mean it don’t fuck move, don’t fucking complain either. I stood still more still then I have in my entire life and completely silent as he took the device off my head. He had stilled my racing mind with his presence, it had been that way since I met him.

                I wake up and for a second and I mean less than I second, I had forgotten where I was, but it all came back to me before my eyes could even think to open. I screamed; the sound inhuman. I was no longer human I understood that. I wanted to scream for him to stop but I couldn’t. No words formed in my brain, no thoughts just pain. Intense overwhelming soul shattering pain. I tried to move I couldn’t. I was suspended from a hook. My hands bound with rope, above my head, on the hook just high enough I was on the balls of my feet. If I lifted my legs it felt like my shoulders were being ripped from my body, so I kept my toes on the floor. I squirmed as the shocks of pain washed over my body. I was being whipped. I didn’t think I would survive; I didn’t want to survive. I reminded myself I came here I asked for this I will endure it. What got me through was a mantra I had thought up so that when things got too much too painful and I wanted to stop I wouldn’t.

      My Master is a sadist this is what he needs I only exist for his needs. My master will not kill me, I will survive this, I will not stop him. Holding on to that in my mind kept my safe word locked deep I will not use it. I could hear his laughter as he cracked the whip and I flinched. He mixed the mental and physical abuse well. Hold still he instructed me. Even if I could move, I was too afraid to. Disobedience was not tolerated. I couldn’t see what he had brought out, it was behind my back. Well played, the anticipation, anxiety, and fear were overwhelming. What I could see though was a timer.

     That timer was almost as torturous as the pain that was being inflicted on me. I had signed my contract for seventy-two hours; I had been here for sixteen… If I was able, I would have to train my mind not to think of the clock not to look at it. I was here to feel. To exist, by bringing my destruction my Master is giving me the gift of rebirth. I came to him as I am empty, broken, worthless, I gave my self to him completely to break me rebuild me, make me new. This gave me new resolve as he fastened the devise around my head that kept my mouth fully open, jaws fully extended. I hadn’t thought to look at my body in a while I was sure I looked like I had been killed brought back and killed again. This is day one.....

What have you done. I knew what I wanted before you sought me out I just didn't know how much. I craved the pain you offer but now its a deep burning within me burning me alive as I wait until you can burn me with your sweet therapy. And even as MY need for this grows with each conversation we have it is no longer about ME, now its about You. Giving you what you NEED. MY new need is my SERVICE to YOU. Though our time will be limited, I'd say short but I'm sure when I am with you and in your grasp it will not feel short, my existence will belong to you entirely. Dear sadist what have you done in such a short time the first thing I do is check my phone to see if there is a message from you. Dear sadist I look forward to your praise when you realize I understand what I ask and my sacrifice. When I ask the right questions. And you so open and forthcoming about everything, you gained my trust. I would and will lay my life in your hands because I trust. I will come to you not on blind faith but eyes wide open. I will survive you to please you. Dear sadist the things we discuss terrify me and excite me and you seem to be able to calm my mind when I feel uncertain. Dear sadist I will suffer for you. 

What can I say other than damn lol. Recently I've been talking with a sadist a true sadist. The things he tells me the things he says scare and exhilarate me. I think what the hell is wrong with me? The stories of things hes done to subs should make me want to scream and run but I don't want to I'm drawn to his flame and I know I will let him burn me. I want him to burn me. I'm not stupid this man will give me no quarter no mercy this is what he does. This is what he is built and born for. Brutalizing masochists like me. Torturing woman who get off on pain but he promises it will not be enjoyable but every once of pain is good for me, I know, I trust he will take me to that edge, that one just before death and insanity and when he brings me back I will be new. He knows, I suspect, that once I taste his brutality and he destroys me, I will never be the same. I only pray I will be able to survive this man. 

Have you ever craved something so much, needed it so bad you could almost taste, hear, see, or feel it? I'm talking about a yearning so deep that you feel like you're going to lose your mind? That is how I feel most days. Irritated, frustrated, needing something, like something is missing. That's because there is and has been all of my life. I'm a masochist that has never really felt the touch of a sadist or the sweet pain and release he can bring. I shut it down most days leaving me numb until my depression takes over again and that's when the urge is the worst. When I'm so low I already feel less than human I need that pain to bring me back. 

Ive decided to give my submission. I am now owned. I only wish to be a good sub and have daddy be proud to own me and i be proud to be owned by him. This is a journey i am excited to walk with him through. 

Daddys hands so firm so strong. They way they caress my body the way they feel in my hair. The sharp sting they make on my ass. The things daddy does with his hands leaves me breathless and wanting more.

there is something about that phrase that makes me feel so good. i always say maybe today ill be a little bratty earn myself a few extra swats on the ass or a quick correcting yank on my hair but i give in and never act bratty. i always give in and do what daddy says because he tells me im daddys good girl and it makes me tingle and glow. 

Broken

I am minding my business totally unaware. Someone is stalking me a predator watching his prey. Its dark and I’m out shopping leaving a restaurant something, the before details escape me, but I’m alone I feel his eyes on me I look around, but I don't see him he’s well hidden. His dick half hard with the thoughts of what he wants flooding his mind, images playing in his mind. I’m walking to my car paranoia ramping up, heart racing. His car is close by he’s staked me out earlier. He walks up behind me silently wraps an arm around my waist I’m startled. He puts his lips to my ear and whispers for me to be silent. I feel a knife tucked into his belt as he presses against me, I feel his semi hard erection on my ass. I’m scared yet slightly turned on. He walks me to his car and puts me in the backseat as he gets in, I check the door, child safety locks, damn. He blindfolds me. We drive for what seems like hours and we pull into somewhere. I can’t see I’m terrified. He opens the door grabs me by the hair and pulls me out the car. Pushes me up against the car pinning me with his body, he’s harder now. I hear the distinct rip of tape duct tape as he binds my hands with it. He pulls me into a building pulling the blindfold off my eyes now that we are inside, and I see 4 black men waiting. They smile sadistically I know what’s going to happen. My clothes are ripped off I’m naked my heart beating so fast tears in my eyes. I’m forced to my knees as they take off their pants. They force their dicks into my mouth I try fighting biting them struggling it earns me slaps to the face hands ripping my hair and hands around my throat until I open wide. My throat is fucked hard and rough. I am gagging and choking, and they are laughing. Calling me a white slut and they will teach me. It is my place to please them. They twist my nipples it hurts but makes me wet. I cannot help it. They pull out rope and I’m taken to a couch where I am bent over and my thighs are tied to my forearms, I cannot move my struggles limited. My ass spanked my thighs whipped my clit smacked. Tits abused, nipples twisted, face smacked extra hard and I’m seeing stars. They two of them pick me up and set me on one of the others laps I am straddling him and there’s nothing I can do as he slides his large hard cock inside my too tight pussy it hurts. I feel another man behind me and feel him hard against my asshole, Its too much he’s too big. I think he’ll give up but then I feel it. Lube he got lube my ass was going to get fucked. He puts it slow at first because he’s trying to fit, then he slams his whole length inside I scream in pain as another man shoves his dick in my open screaming mouth and I choke and gag again. I am raped by all 5 of them for hours and hours until I’m sore numb and exhausted. I have been used and abused. emotionally and physically broken. Naked and dirty. cum filled and covered. But they aren't done with me yet.... I have passed out from the trauma mentally and physically. I wake up I’m bound, arm and legs restraints pulled tight pulling my limbs in different directions. Spreader bar separating my legs leaving me open and exposed. everything is sore. My pussy, my ass and throat, everything thoroughly fucked raw. He comes in, my captor I recognize his scent and am brought back to the night before outside my car feeling his erection against me as he whispered in my ear. I start to cry. I see the joy my pain and anguish cause him in his eyes. he’s starting to get hard again. I think we are alone here I don't hear the others. I look to his hands and I see a collar with a leash. He walks over to the bed I am bound to and takes the bar away collaring me before he unties my arms and legs. I feel dirty, grimy and a little turned on. he tells me if I'm a good girl everything will be ok. I don't believe him but what choice do I have but to listen? I'm led to a bathroom and I am allowed to use it, I am thankful. He tells me I'm a dirty slut and need to be cleaned, turns on the shower. He pulls me into it with the leash and ties it to the bar in the shower. he undresses and he is fully erect again. I'm scared. He gets in and starts washing my hair, he washes my body. The hot water hurts everything. everything feels bruised raw and inflamed. He is enjoying it. When he is finished washing me and I think he’s going to let me out he bends me over and fucks my ass again. I cry from the pain. he smacks my ass and grabs my throat fucking me full force until he comes in my ass and laughs. he tells me I am his toy; his slut and he will fuck me when he wants and will let his friends abuse me any time, he wants to share me. I am defeated. he rewashes my ass and drags me back to the room where he puts me on my stomach tying me back to the bed. Once more my arms are tied to my legs so that I am in a bent over position, I’ve been here for a few hours. I don’t know what time it is my pillow is wet with tears. I’m starving and Thirsty. He must be at work because I haven’t heard a sound other than my own crying. I try to pull on my restraints seeing if I could loosen them, but I knew there was no hope. Nope tight as ever. I heard voices one, two, three, no four voices all men. I cried and prayed he didn’t want to share me and that he would leave me alone. Again, no luck, damn. The door opened and all four men laughed at my naked exposed body. One of them told me they were going to destroy my ass that he was eleven inches long and at least 4 inches thick. I didn’t know how much more I could take I was exhausted the adrenaline had abused my body too. I cried so much I couldn’t even cry any more. All I could do is scream as he took my ass and gaped it open. I could hear his grunts and I was disgusted and turned on. I hated myself for it, it was such a primal thing. You see it all the time in nature and what are we but animals? They untied my legs and arms and made me stand. They got out whips and took turns stripping, everywhere…. Nothing was safe, arms, legs, ass, tits. It stung and I squirmed. They laughed when they saw I was wet. They then took my hands and tied them together. I notice a hook on a chain suspended from the ceiling., Fuck. I knew what was coming next, my hands bound together were put on the hook. You know the kind that meat hangs on in a slaughterhouse. It just reminded me I was only a piece of meat to these men who were going to take their turns raping every hole in my body until I either died or they got bored. I prayed it was the latter but wasn’t sure if I wanted to live through this. The biggest one lifted me up wrapping my legs around his waist as he put my nipple in his mouth, fuck, I moaned, and I could feel the wetness in my pussy. He grabbed my hair and told me I would not enjoy this and plunged deep and hard into my already dripping pussy. I tried not to like it I really tried and God it hurt so much but it felt so good. Then another one of the men grabbed my hips and rammed his hard cock into my ass. It hurt so much I started crying again. I just knew my asshole was tore up, ripped and bleeding. They took turns fucking my holes until they had all came inside me again and again and again. I came too I didn’t want to, but I did I came all over their dicks again and again and again. I was so ashamed of myself. When they finally finished, I was laid back on the bed. I was broken I couldn’t move. My captor didn’t even bother to tie me back up. He and his beasts had shattered me, and he had saw that in my eyes, I wasn’t going anywhere, and he knew it. He looked at me staring up at the ceiling at the hook where I had just been hanging, where I had been broken officially, where the fight had left me. He laughed at me. Enjoying the fact that he had killed my spirit. The next day I was awoken before dawn and raped again I just hung on that hook limp unable to do anything. Every part of me had been violated. When they were done, they took me down from the hook put me on my knees and jacked off until they came all over me. I was covered in cum from, this time, eight grown men. They put the blindfold back on me and drug me outside throwing me in the van. While one drove the rest kept raping me I was so numb I couldn’t feel it anymore I was an object nothing more than a receptacle for them to cum in. we stopped finally and I was dumped out of the van on to the ground. I was naked covered in and filled with cum. I was ashamed, bound, broken, blindfolded and lying on the ground.

Hopeless

I don’t know how long I laid there on the ground. I know it had started to rain. It was dark, the rain should have been cold, but I couldn’t feel it. It was utterly numb… My body was sore, I was sure my pussy and ass were damaged, but I couldn’t feel anything. I couldn’t even cry anymore, they had won. They had broken me, killed who I was, and I had to live with it. It wasn’t fair, I should have died. It would have been easier. I finally got up off the ground and looked around to see where I was. At least they had dropped me close to my car. I was still naked, and the street was empty. I made my way to my car and could feel every bit of abuse I had endured, my body sore and aching. I winced as I slid into the driver’s seat of my car, my ass raw and hurting. My internal organs even hurt. I looked in the back seat remembering I had at least a hoodie or something. I grabbed it and slid it over my bruised body, and I drove home. Luckily my hoodie was long enough to cover me. I walked inside and broke down. I cried and cried. I went to my bathroom and looked in the mirror the image was rough. Hair knotted and tangled dirt from laying on the ground smeared on my face tear streaks down my face. It was unsightly yet some how it made my pussy tingle. I was shocked at my reaction. I tuned to my shower and set the water. I made it hot I wanted it to burn my skin. A tear ran down my face as I stepped into the burning hot water. I scrubbed and scrubbed my skin trying to feel clean, but I couldn’t and if I was being honest with myself, I didn’t want to. I started thinking about what had happened to me and I got aroused. My nipples hardened, my pussy tightened, and I got wet. My hand went down to my already aching pussy and started to rub my clit my back arched. My lips parted and I moaned. I made quick work of it and got my self off. Ashamed of how I was feeling. I walked naked and wet to my room and laid in my bed. I had dreams; I would have called them nightmares except they didn’t feel that way. I woke up breathing hard and back arching and my pussy soaked. I dreamed of all the things they did to me all the abuse and violation. I wanted it again it felt so wrong, but I wanted it. I felt hopeless. I got up and go dressed and thought well now my life has to go on like this never happened. I went to work and went about my day. After I got dressed in the sluttiest clothes I had and went to the bars and clubs, I left my drinks unattended and danced provocatively. I did everything I could think of everything they tell you not to do. What was wrong with me? I went home wasted and got into my bed passing out almost immediately. I jumped my heart was racing and my head was spinning. Then I heard something. Rustling, like someone moving around the house, it must have been what woke me up in the first place. I began to sweat as I laid there and listened to what sounded like more than one person in my home. I was laying on my stomach hoping they’d just take what they wanted and leave. I didn’t have much in the way of valuable possessions, but I was hoping my T.V and laptop would be enough to satisfy. Oh, how wrong I was. I could hear them at my door. Three sets of shadows beneath my door. Suddenly the door burst open and I was pounced on. There was a knee in the middle of my back as someone grabbed my arms forcing them behind my back and tied together. I screamed this got my face shoved into the mattress until they could take my panties off and shove them in my mouth to gag me. Was this the same man? Was he really back to hurt me more with his little group of friends? Or was this an entirely different group of people? Now that I had been raped was there a sign on my door, on my forehead that told people “Hey she likes this, this girl is for raping”?  Is this what was happening? And then I smelled it. It was his cologne mixed with the sweat and pheromones. I instantly got wet. One of them noticed and laughed calling me a slut and how it wasn’t rape if it makes me wet. This made me even wetter. He bent down and whispered I was daddy’s good little slut and I was going to enjoy this. I found my tears again mostly because I was enjoying it. What is wrong with me? I moan a little as he entered my body, ass raising slightly to meet him.  He must have told the others they were not to touch me because the others did not come close to me. One did have a camera filming it. He instructed one of them to take the gag out of my mouth I guess I could be trusted not to scream because my body was responding with betrayal. My back arching, my pussy dripping my hips flexing to meet him with each stroke. I wanted to give in to just give in. So, I did. I moaned out in pleasure and urged him to go harder and faster. I asked him so to spank my ass and he did so with pleasure. I started feeling the pain I mean really feeling it. How it made my body feel how it made me want more. How the more pain he gave me, slap to the ass, yank on the hair a hand around my throat. Everything he did urged me toward my climax. Call me daddy slut. He said as he pounded me harder. Yes, daddy I yelled out. That’s my good girl he said to me as put his hand on my shoulder thrusting harder. Cum for me he said. And I did I came hard and fast with a loud moan and my body shaking. This must have sent him into climax because he came with me.