The Isolation Diaries

Good day my fellow cagearinos,

I had a little look back over my old blog posts and noticed that I have done you all a terrible disservice.  

As a card carrying grammar nazi, I was disappointing to see how many typos and just really shitty grammar there is.

I think it’s down to the way I type up my blogs.  Where as a few of you clearly out a lot of thought into what you put up, some more than others, I just type as I think and hope for the best.

I could run a spell check after typing it up but in fairness with my miming bird like attention span, once I have hit that publish button I have already moved on.

So apologies for any frustration or annoyance of my shockingly poor typing.

from this post onwards I promise to take more care when posting and vow to make all future posts error free.*

till next time cagebots

* Bad Monkey cannot be held responsible for the breaking of any vows or promises.

A wee rant if you will allow me.

Well not really a rant, just an observation.

Why do people either have nothing on their profile or that BDSM test thing?

when I’m snooping through profiles,(which lets be honest we all do). I’d like to know a little about the person.  

Just tell us a little about you.  Don’t need your life story but something that reflects something threatening to be a personality would be nice.

its good to know that you are 75% Mistress I’m 60% water but that tells you fuck all about who I am.

I know this might come across as a bit of a moan, but I like people and knowing people and seeing if it’s worthwhile reaching out to them.

I also know that some folks might not want that which is cool and I understand.   

It’s just a pet peve.

Apologies if I came across as a bit of a dick there, long shifts are clearly getting to me.  Normal service will resume soon. 

In celebration of zombie Jesus laying a load of eggs for some reason my work have decided to give me the Easter bank holidays.

I am buzzing.  Through all my jobs  I have worked every Easter bank holiday since I was 15, I am now 38 (I think).

can’t wait to do something super fun but history tells us that I’ll just be cutting the grass or something equally mundane.

still you cannae whack a long weekend.

So this morning I found a dead rat in my front garden.

not the best thing to take up to.  And after a quick look round the house I was able to confirm that it wasn’t from our house, the most likely place being one of out neighbours 2 doors up.

knowing these delightful people have a drug habit and really not looking for any kind of confrontation before I’d even had my morning shite I called the enviro health who will hopefully be out in the next couple of days.

I then sat down to my breakfast after my morning BM and chowed down.  

ive got to say, once you get past the fur they are quite tasty...I’m beginning to regret calling enviro health now.

sorry fly out had to sit through one of my dullest postings...but you’ve gotta take the rough with the smooth sometimes.

How do cagebots,

I thought I’d take a bit of a detour from the normal random shite I talk about on here and talk about something I’ve decided to call melting head syndrome.

don’t worry it’s not a side effect of the covid vaccine, I don’t think it is Anyways.

Ive mentioned before that I sometimes struggle with anxiety and it can lead to me making some rash or insensible decisions.  

Most recently it led to me ending things with a domme who was very good and we connected very well, however due to a case of melting head syndrome I got the fear that I wasn’t good enough or that I was letting her down.  She had given no indication of this.  

Result I told her that I felt I wasn’t able to be what I felt she deserved i then deleted her contact details.

Now, a few weeks after the fact, common sense has set in along with the regrets.

Morale of the story?  

if you feel you are comming down with MHS, take a beat.  Talk to someone, don’t just react.

anyways,  we don’t have as many infected around these parts anymore which is always a good thing, my back was getting sort building those pyres.

... as the smoke from the pyres begins to clear and the troubles of the past year are comming close to being little more than a distant echo we can all breathe a sigh of relief that it is almost all over, we have almost survived the great toilet paper war of 2020.

I know we still have a lot to go through but thankfully the microchips being implanted in us by bill gates and the rest of the Illuminati lizard people, or whoever Alex Jones and David Icke say is responsible for all the ills of the world, is giving us hope that maybe, just maybe I’ll be able to return to the theatre of pies even if it’s just in time to see my team get relegated.  

I know there are many still struggling with everything that’s been going on and some countries still have a long way to go, but in the no doubt butchered words of a great philosopher of our time;

“Hard work pays off, bad times don’t last but bad guys do”

Morning cagebots,

been a few days so figured I’d put something on here.  

hope we all had a good Christmas and watched die hard, cos it ain’t Christmas until Hans gruber falls from the Nakatoma tower.

No snow here, but goodness me it’s cold, almost broke my arse when I was out with the dog this morning. 

sorry about the random mutterings, just a bit of a flow of thought which as you can probably tell I’m rather guilty of.

Right folks, 

2 days till some fat guy breaks into our houses and empties his sack everywhere and I have noticed something quite concerning, a lot of people don’t seem to understand what is and isn’t a Christmas film.

So I figured I’d look at 2 of the most common films that are misunderstood.  I’ll look at the main themes which determine what is ad isn’t a Christmas film.

Film 1 - frozen

synopsis, child born with magical powers that can control the weather refuses to accept full responsibility for her actions and runs away to the hills, making a big mansion for herself and refuses to let anyone in.  

So many people think this family friendly film is a Christmas film.  Other than the snow and ice there is no connection to Christmas.  In fact I happens in July and the weather is very wrong for the time of year.  If anything it’s an alogory for climate change, with those responsible refusing to accept thier role of things and wanting us all to just “let it go”.  

For the sake of fairness it should be pointed out that there is a Christmas special frozen on Disney plus.

Film 2 -  die hard

Synopsis -  estranged father tried to reconnect with his wife and daughter on Christmas Eve.  He overcomes many challenges with the want to be with his family being his main driving force.

nany don’t consider this a Christmas film, Bruce Willis included.  They are however wrong,  the themes running through the whole film make it one of the most Christmasy films ever.  It even has Santa (kinda).

anyways,

that’s my rant over, disagree if you like, however you know this to be true...

As it’s the week before Christmas, we have next to no customers calling through which means I have loads more time to post on here. I bet you are all just giddy with excitement, it must feel like you’ve won the lottery or found a fiver under the couch.

Well, prepare to be disappointed.  As it will mostly just be me typing up a flow of consciousness.  It’s quite cathartic really, I’d recommend everyone try it at least once, maybe twice just to be sure.  Kinda like that time in b+q only with less body fluids and a better mobile connection.  At least this time it can’t land me in court, one hopes.

I am aware that some of our non-uk readers may not know what b+q is so I’ll tell you.  It’s basically a big hardware store where we send all our old people to work once they have passed their sell by date.  

anyhoo,

im all out just now,  I may return later to bore the tits off you all.

...but I would like us all to take a moment to appreciate how perfect the ending to mandolorian is.  

If you haven’t seen it, I pity you all.  If Star Wars ain’t your thing, I don’t mean to be hurtful, but you are a horrible person with no soul.  

anyways cage bots,

no deep and meaningfuls today...

though I have discovered inkmaster on amazon prime, I have no tattoos but I have become an expert in inking folks in the space of two nights.  

anyhoo,  this time I’m off

although I should make you all aware that as woke as big mouth is it still manages to be fantastically offensive.  

anyhoo this time I’m off....

ohh but you really, need to watch aunt Donna.

Right I’m off now...

just one last thing, did you hear about that guy that got cut in half?  He’s alright now

ok definitely off now

just to let you know that I make no apologies for that joke.  

anyways good night...

I also make no apologies for you reading this far down through all that utterly meaningless shite.  That’s on you.

till next time