The Isolation Diaries

If you don’t follow football, turn away now.  What follows will be unashamedly some ill informed and petty views of Scotland’s European journey.  It will in no way be anything like the previous two posts in which I was a bit of a moany wee bitch.

When we qualified for the euros I, along with the rest of the country, hit party mode.   After the year it’s been such a release of collective joy for everyone.

Although we got here not many really believed we would get anywhere in it.  When we drew0-0 with England, a team filled with players worth millions, it felt like we had won infact we really should have.  Every player on the park stood and put on a performance to make everyone proud.  Seeing, and hearing, the England supporters turn on their own team was an utter joy as was the look on the pundits faces.

 Now with one more game to go against Croatia we are on the brink of making history and if we do qualify for the next round there is a good chance I may break my semi-T-totality.  To be fair I reckon you could possibly just right the whole of Scotland off for a couple of days.

Though in fairness I have followed Scotland long enough to know how this story ends.  But still live in hope.

Previous blog post was a bit down in the dumps, I’m not sure this is any better.

My brother is getting married in less than a month.  I am to be his best man, 

There are 7 years between us and for various reasons our relationship is quite strained.  He likes to try and project to everyone that we are all the best of pals and do loads together.  I know this is why he asked me and I couldn’t say no as I’d need to explain to everyone the myriad of issues.  

So as the date draws closer it is becoming clearer and clearer how little they have thought about the people they invited,  

they had invited 170 folk, due to restrictions they are restricted to 50, they still haven’t worked out who to cut...me, my folks and others have tried telling them what they need to do, but head is in the sand.

I know this may come across as me being a bit of dick, but as many issues as I have with him he is still my brother and I don’t want things spoiled for him.

again no clue why I’m posting this just want it off my chest.  Feeling quite contemplative today I think.

How do cagebots,

Another wee introspective today, seem to be falling into these moments of reflection quite a lot recently.

I have to confess I often feel quite conflicted with coming here.  If you read my blog postings or check out my profile you will know I am married.  It’s not something I hide from anyone I speak to.  My wife is aware of my interests, although she dose not share them and is unaware that I come on here.  She isn’t comfortable at all talking about it at all, although our sex life is pretty good.

I know this makes me a bad person, and I don’t feel good about it at all. I love my wife very much and know she deserves better.  I couldn’t do without her.

However, odd as it is coming here and speaking to like minded folk really helps settle me. 

I am aware of how selfish this makes me seem and if I’m honest I don’t really understand the point of this post.   Though in truth I am very selfish for coming here.  I am finding just typing out my internal thoughts quite  oddly therapeutic.  

if you have any issues with the content of this post I’m going to ask you to keep it to yourself.  

Opinions are like arseholes, everyone’s got one and most are full of shite.

Goodness me it’s hoat round these parts, windows are all open but somehow it just so much warmer than it was with them closed.

Im stopping short of stripping off but being a pasty hairy Scotsman it is a struggle and it will be a challenge not to end the day as a puddle.  The struggle is real.

Anyways that’s all to report today, stream of conscious thought complete.  

Till next time cagebots, if I survive.

I will give a wee trigger/content warning here dealing with some aspect of bullying. Not often I do that but I know it could bring back some bad memories for folks.

In one of my many introspective moments last night I had a little think on why and how I am into what I’m into...obviously in a kink sense, cos I’m obviously into Heman and horror films because they are cool as fuck.

Although I have just, relatively recently, started to explore my submissive side I have genuinely felt that it was something that was always part of me.  

As I looked back I tried to think of anything that “flicked the switch” and I rembered a couple of instances from when I was wee.

The earliest thing I remember is when I was about 7 or 8 and I was playing out my back garden and I heard sombody shouting me over, it was an older girl that went to the same school as me.  She was in p7 I was p3 or 4.  We weren't friends and I don’t even know her name.  

I went over to her and asked her what she wanted, she said she wanted in the garden, we had a big fence and wall so couldn’t just come in. I told her no and she slapped me and called me a little bitch.  I was pretty upset she laughed and walked away.  I remember feeling pretty embarrassed and upset, but something a bit exciting too.  I know that this was not a positive experience, but I think it started something in my brain.   

About a week after this at school I was just going back to class after lunch and the same girl grabbed me pulled down my trousers and pushed me into the girls toilet.  The handle was broken and I couldn’t get out.  Again totally embarrassed and upset.  The teacher had to come and find me.  Again as bad as it was at the time I do remember a bit of thrill from that feeling of vulnerablity.

There are instances but those are the earliest I can think of.

I know none of the above was positive but I do think it was instrumental in unlocking something in my wee head.

I know nobody asked for it but I find it helpful when I’m thinking about things to type it up.  It’s good to help understand yourself I think.

till next time.

I know not many will be into football (soccer for our colonial friends). But in two days time Scotland take on England in the euros.

this time last week I was feeling pretty good about it, now? Well having seen both teams play in their opening games it is a good job I’m a sub as I feel we could be in for a bit of a humiliation.

though in the unlikely event we beat them, well I might be posted missing for a few days.

anyways, that is all for today.

A nice wee 90’s music reference in the title there, no clue who done it but it’s stuck in my head now...as it is yours.

Been away for a wee while to give myself a bit of break, I suppose watching Scotland getting humiliated last week made me think I was missing out, so long as we put on a good show against England that’s all that matters eh.

I took a wee break after speaking to someone from here for a wee week and decided something didn’t feel right.  Nothing to do with them or me to be fair, just wasn’t feeling it.  

it’s a bit of a bummer when it happens, and it’s always good to step back after and just kind of assess what you are looking for.  Reckon I’m still looking for the same but no pressure on myself.

Anyways, I’m sure everyone was missing me...or more likely you are saying to yourself “who is this prick?”  

either way,

welcome back me.

Hello cagebots,

In the uk, Scotland, we are beginning to open up. 

As much as I enjoyed murdering and cannibalising my neighbours, I was just thinking about all the things We will be able to do again. 

For many meeting up with friends and family will be the first thing they will do.  Others it will be a holiday or maybe even meeting up with people they have only ever connected with online.

I just can’t help but wonder if the maternity wards are prepared for what will be prepared for such levels of shagging not witnessed since the end of ww2.  

Though I’m sure after covid, 10 million screaming weans will be a walk in the park for our hero’s in the nhs.

anyhoo,

that’s today’s thought for the day.

till next time 

Hello cagebots,

I have a bit of question for you all.  I am aware that some may take it as a personal attack but it’s not intended that way.

I think the best way to ask it is offer up a bit of background.

In my time knocking about and talking to different people various kink sites I found found that many folk don’t seem to show much personality outside of what role they are in a bdsm setting.  

I do struggle with these peoples as I like people and making friends with them before any kind of dynamic.  Unfortunately it seems like many people just want to project an image that may not be there true selves, window dressing.  I get it the internet is all about But because of this I can only assume that they have nothing else going on.  This is I should note, in chat/message interactions, not profiles.

I have to say, this not something I have experienced here as many people seem to be pretty genuine.

Anyways, onto the question.  How much of your personality on here is defined by your role?  

an example, I am a sub male however I don’t submit to everyone I speak to., though I am always respectful...I’m not a total dick.

 I like to get to know people and explore connections before considering submitting to someone.  If you are ever speaking to me in chat or through blogs I am exactly as I would be if you were standing infront of me.

So i hope that made sense.  Like I said I hope nobody takes offence at this.  It’s just something that I’ve noticed on my journey’s through the internets.

also if you made it this far down well done, that was a whole lot of words.  I would offer to add you into a raffle by way of reward unfortunately I lack a tombola and any prizes.  Let’s not forget the fact that raffles just stress me the fuck out.

Hello cagebots, 

And first of all an apology, there is no mention of bestiality in this blog, I’m sorry to disappoint that one person that opened this blog in the hopes of some hot vulpes vulpes action.  I know there was at least one of you.

No I’m talking about the two wee furry orange bastards that decided to use my front garden at 1 in the morning to make some sweet love.  

The noise they make, for those unaware, is much like I imagine a soul would make if it wear being ripped from this realm and cast into the great beyond.  Utterly horrifying.

It was this haunting sound that woke me up and left me with the existential dread as my mind went into over drive as I contemplated the meaning of life, what actually happens when you die and what if this was the end and we are all just stuck in a horrific loop doomed to relive our mistakes again and again.  

finally fell over again at 5 and I was up at 7. 

like I said, fucking foxes.