Dark bits.

Satindragon{Not Lookin} - Sometimes people forget their manners in chat. That is why I don’t use it. It had become a place for several to gang up on others.

Once upon a time it was an informative place to have a chat.

Mister Anderson​(dom male) - Hopefully people will apologize when needed and play nice. Otherwise they can be top of the chat room food chain.

However this shakes out in my eyes, I'll probably keep the blog.

SSG{ENM-TLP} - yes, keep the blog. leave the chat, but even at that, you enjoy chat, and they enjoy you. I say start your own chatroom and only those who can behave can participate with the "awesome" and incredibly humble Mister Anderson.

Curlyniccia{Protected} - I used to love the chat rooms but I rarely frequent there now x

Dellydoodah​(neither female) - come back in x

xxxalexxx​(sub female) - please dont leave ma, you always keep me giggling in the chat, plus youre da bomb dot com

RedKat{Not now } - I don’t enough the chat room as much as I thought I would. I go into them to learn, ask questions and get together with likeminded people. Sir, I haven’t read anything like you describing, but I could have missed it, as over my head. (I blame the pipe)... Hang in there...

JadeMermaid​(sub female) - ill be blunt and maybe a bit rough for a moment. Leaving seems a cop out. If you find issue with something, speak up. You of all people MA have the ability to graciously and respectfully put together words to remind someone their current behavior is inappropriate. As someone who has been a victim of things in the past. Silence and withdrawal from the people I knew, and thought were my friends, was it's own form of condoning. I get irrationally upset when no one speaks up to actions or words that are wrong. I don't care if its someone else sub/dom/friend. If something is not along the lines of SCC it needs to be stopped, spoken about, in public. so everyone understands that what just happened, or what was said IS NOT THE NORM. Maybe thats out of line, and I'm in the wrong. But if another Dom steps in, I do step back. If another Dom I respect chides me for being over the top, I will step back and apologize. The whole point of being in a community, is to look out, care for, and teach each other. Saying "I wash my hands of this", says you are not worth the time and effort to help. - I could be totally off, and in the wrong on this. But it's just my perspective. And I do try my best to correct my mistakes and errors when pointed out to me. I'm dense, and sometimes I need to be hit over the head multiple times before I realize I'm in the wrong about something.

Mister Anderson​(dom male) - There is community and there is the chat room. A chatroom has its own laws, and one of them is that people will defend themselves when criticized.

In my case, I believe giving people the choice to change how they chat or to continue to do so without me, is the best way I can ask them to change. It's not a good way, I agree. But it's the best of bad choices, imo.

JadeMermaid​(sub female) - Fair enough. I just would hate to see you go, because others have forced your decision
. Rather than you making the call on your own.

Redtailedkitty - I agree with you there Neo. Even in person there can be drama, but much easier to deal with when your face to face. But if you try to ask someone to calm down in chat, it usually causes a bigger fuss. It's not worth the energy to get wrapped up in the chaos.

I left chat (Cage in general, actually) because of the high school, bully, gang up on anyone we disagree with mentality. Many tried to talk me into staying. And I did. A lot longer than I should have. But eventually, it was just too toxic to avoid any longer. And now I see it happening again. I left chat 3 times yesterday due to behavior that was unsettling to say the least.

I know I can get "passionate" myself on occasion, but I've learned to speak my piece and then move on. And it's very upsetting when I've seen at least two members already be driven away by bullying behavior since coming back in two months time - and those are just the ones I know about...

The is supposed to be a safe space for people to connect with like minded individuals, to learn from each and grow. But apparently we can't have nice things.....

Mister Anderson​(dom male) - maybe we can. I'm hoping we can have nice things.

SSG{ENM-TLP} - I feel like this post is doing just as you're asking him to do, but he's doing it more of a teaching forum instead of in an interactive forum. People can read a blog post and process it and digest it before running off at the mouth. If someone isn't feeling themselves in the chatroom and something is said to them, they could become defensive and retaliate, then everyone jumps to their defense, and you end up with drama. I have been in the chatroom only a handful of times, and nearly every time I've been there, someone has taken something the wrong way, and whatever "discussion" that was being had is drown out with people trying to calm the offended down. The discussion dies, and those not involved in the drama is left to sit and wait for it to die down. It would be a good practice if there is some need to voice oneself, that it be done in a private chat or through a private message instead of in the main chat hall. I've been chatting since it was invented. Time hasn't helped. Those of us who learned to chat "back in the day" follow an unspoken protocol of those days. That is what MA is referring to about "the rules of the chatroom" most likely. We would like for the civility of the times to return to the chatroom, so we can actually have drama-free interaction. I don't have the time to keep a chatroom open for it, but perhaps those of you who frequent the rooms more could have several in that could maintain such a drama-free room. A lot of fun could be had if a little work was done to manage it.

MA, thank you for taking the time to write this piece. I would enjoy some chat time. Perhaps we'll see some changes and be able to see a little more of "the good old days" plays out in chat.

shysweetness​(sub female) - I enjoyed reading this right up until the last line... :/

Dellydoodah​(neither female) - I am an avid blog /forum reader. I learn a lot and watch how people respond to and with one another. Recently I have seen interactions between folks under the guise of a blog . Taking it into the chat rooms makes others feel uncomfortable and will keep others away from the chat room which during these horrible Covid times just might be their sanctuary. Nobody cannot like everyone but there is a social etiquette that surely should be stuck to.

SSG{ENM-TLP} - I agree. I see some "passive aggressive" blogging and forum posts from time-to-time. It doesn't address the problem, and just stirs shit generally. No one knows who the post is about, so many different people take offense and write their on passive aggressive piece. IMHO, these types of things are best handled in private--directly. A lot of times there was just a misunderstanding. My ex-husband and I went a week without talking once because he thought I was giving him the silent treatment and I thought he was giving me the silent treatment. Neither of us were doing it intentionally. We were waiting for the other to come around. If we had been direct and spoke up right away, that misunderstanding would have been avoided. All of that being said, someone's blog is their personal domain. Whatever they want to do with it is their prerogative as long as they follow the community rules. I just feel it isn't "community building" to post passive aggressively. I guess that's my point. :) I agree also that nothing should be taken to the chatrooms. Gossip destroys not to mention it builds a negative reputation for that person that will follow them far longer than the memory of what the gossip was even about. I agree with Delly...Keep the chatrooms fun, stress-free sanctuary. Or at least be sure the main chat hall is committed to it.

darlingnikki​(sub female){Taken} - I agree with you. I have been more annoyed of the drama of late. I do have grown to really care about many of the people in chat. I really don't like seeing anyone hurt or anyone being ganged up on. I am still so new to this, I want to learn as much as possible. I would hate to see anyone new been run off because of a faux pas.