Expectations, so many expectations from my friends, advisors, mentors, family, and even people on here. My family expects me to be studious and poised. To blindly accept and obey, that is not me. They love to brag about the whiz kid who skipped the tenth grade and made it to a prestigious university free of charge. To keep up that appearance is exhausting. My friends expect me to be cool and level headed. To fix the problems, give advice, and put them in their place when things go out of control. Being everything for everyone is draining.
Sexy, alluring, wise, witty, etc... honestly I can't keep up. What if I told you I was clumsy, a little bit crazy, and most definitely bold. About my dance parties at 3 am even though I'm a horrible dancer. I am almost always sleep-deprived, a tad messy, and I fear not of being alone but of being surrounded by people for the rest of my life. Would I still fit into your mold?
That is why I am a sub. I want a safe place, a place that allows me to be me or whoever I feel like being in the moment. A place where my mind rests, and I sink into the feeling of acceptance. The freedom that overtakes me when I give up my control, that is why.
