Liberated

Journey of my self-evolution

I had been talking to this dom. Let's call him Isaiah. In the beginning, as all new relationships go, he was actively interested, a fast replier. It became a regular thing, we would talk almost every day and if we didn't he would text me saying he was busy and would contact me later. And I'm not gonna lie, I became used to the attention. Then after a while, he became super distant with no explanation. Me, being very expressive and straight forward, texted him explaining my feelings and asking what's up? He lashed out at me.

Long story short, Isaiah was going through some personal shit and took it out on me. He ended up apologizing; I ended up forgiving him, but I knew in my mind that I would never express how I felt about him pulling away again until I could trust him again with his reactions. We don't speak much anymore and I don't know why, but I definitely went through attention withdrawal.

You ever been with someone and got used to their presence in your life and that attention, and then all of a sudden they yank that away, no notice or maybe very little notice, but you didn't know it was gonna be this bad.

I think people at the end of the day just wanna be seen and viewed as important to someone.

Attention withdrawal is a painful thing to go through, but after the emotional storm has passed, the level of self-assurance and confidence you gain is otherworldly.

I don't chase people anymore. I'm here, and I'm important. I'm not gonna chase after them to prove I matter.

Don't chase people anymore. You're here, and you're important. You don't have to prove to them you matter.

SirsBabyDoll(sub female){Pizza+☕} - All....the...fucking...time!

I've discovered the source of mine tho and so dealing with the abandonment issues is going to be tough.

But at least I NOW know the source. I just don't know how to heal the wound.

4 years ago

xGabbyx(sub female){Galy} - I think, learning how to heal is the hardest part of the process. That's still unknown territory to me.

4 years ago

xxxalexxx(sub female) - *nods* I relate to this so much, a singular person's attention is almost like a drug and I get addicted to it, then have to quit cold turkey. it is a vicious cycle. but I do also think that trusting people and being open and willing to share your emotions is a great human trait that, although my lead to hurt, can also make things more connective with a person- there such a push and pull, but I do entirely get what you are saying

4 years ago

xGabbyx(sub female){Galy} - Yeah, I just think its gonna be a little while before I can be that open again.

4 years ago

J o l l y(sub female){Nillaw} - I'm super needy and HAVE to have attention. That being said, I just went through a similar experience not long ago. However, one key importance is that Daddy TOLD me what was going on before distancing. He was also going through some personal things and I offered space so he could have time to himself. He stayed distant for about 4 or 5 days. And things are back to normal now. I just don't think Isaiah handled things well... but don't give up!!!! You'll find the right one for you!!! ♡♡♡ it just takes time.

4 years ago

xGabbyx(sub female){Galy} - Thanks jolly, I hope so!

4 years ago

Smessie - I have been there quite a bit just recently, and it is the worst! However, for at least one of them who I know very well and know his other characteristics to be that of a narcissist, it is something called “love bombing.”
Now, until I did some research, I just thought narcissists were vain people. It’s actually so much more, and a lot do not come off as vain or self-centered at all. Just the opposite.
They “love bomb,” you because your attention is their drug, and they need to know they have you completely under their spell. Once they get this, and once the high of it wears off, however, they don’t crave you the same way. That’s when the attention can either drop off, turn on you, or die out completely.
Thank you for your affirmation that none of us our alone in having this happen to us, and that we matter enough to not let it drag us down. 👍🏻😘

4 years ago

xGabbyx(sub female){Galy} - Yeah, I think it's really important for others to know that they're not the only ones, and their feelings are validated.

4 years ago

SSG{ENM-TLP} - I've personally been there with who was the love of my life, so yeah, it has the potential to tear you apart. With it being just a week later and the personal crisis aside, it takes about a week to get to know the basics about someone. There may not have been a real connection for him. If there is a connection, it would drive you both to each other. You have a good attitude about it in waiting. We arent intended to connect deeply with everyone. It would have been kind of him to let you know he was going through something, but glad you got a sign that his communication style wouldn't be appropriate for you.

4 years ago

Breece Not Looking(sub female) - So very true, we just want to be seen by the person we give our power to. If they do not see us, and pay attention to our devotion it isn't really a kink anymore. If it's not natural, don't force it. Letting him know of your expectations is a good thing. Thanks for sharing. 🌼

4 years ago

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xGabbyx​(sub female){Galy}

Liberated

Attention Withdrawal

xGabbyx(sub female){Galy}