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Bacon, Idolatry and other such Sacrilege.

Sometimes my mind forgets that it’s encased inside my skull.

Ramblings, stories and random absurdity brought to you from the writer of “1001 Uses for Hoarded Toilet Paper” and “I’m Willing to Bet $10 Jesus Christ was from Outer Space” and many other books, papers, and requisition forms you’ve never heard of. Read at your own personal peril, laugh a bit, cringe a lot and visit often!
4 years ago. May 11, 2020 at 3:36 PM

It wasn’t entirely my fault, you see. It was, in fact, a Monday.

I know you don’t like it when we talk about what happened but I think it best to just rip off the band aid and get it all out.

 

I hate you.

 

Don’t get me wrong. I love you with all of my warm and beating heart and to immeasurable depths deep down into my immortal soul.

 

But you need to understand that I loathe the mere sight of you and that’s why you had to die.

 

I hope that one day you understand that I was justified. It was, in a way, self defense. One more second with you and I would have surely gone mad.


To be honest, I’m not entirely sure my sanity is still intact. After all, I am speaking to a corpse; your lovely and beautifully silent and lifeless corporeal body.

 

If I am mad then it’s your fault for driving me so. Why couldn’t you just leave me alone? All the incessant nagging over inconsequential bullshit day in and day out. 

Even for this I could have one day found forgiveness in my heart of hearts.

 

But on a Monday??? What the fuck were you thinking?

 

 

 

 

 

4 years ago. May 10, 2020 at 4:35 PM

Fuck…daddy…unf…fu…ohh…mmmm…oh daddy you fuck me soooo fucking good!

 


You like that baby girl? You like feeling daddy’s big fucking cock inside your fucking cunt?!!

 


God yes daddy, please keep fucking me…don’t ever stop fucking me…please daddy?!!

 


That’s my good little fucking whore…mmmm…I love hearing you moan like a little slut in heat.

 


Daddy…I want you to choke me daddy…please fucking choke your baby girl.

 


Don’t ask me that baby doll.

 


Please daddy…I want you to choke me…I need to feel your hands around my neck while you’re fucking my little cunt.

 


Baby, no.

 


Daddy…please…I’m begging you…I want to cum…please choke me daddy…pleeeaaasseee…

 


What have I told you about asking for things that you don’t really want?

 


But daddy…I really REALLY need it…please do it daddy…choke my neck while you fuck my cunny!!!

 


I’m not going to do that princess…stop asking.

 


Do it daddy…do it now.

 


No.

 


*slaps daddy in the face…hard.***

 


You little fucking cunt. What the fuck is wrong with you?!!!

 


I want you to do it daddy…stop being gentle with me and fucking choke me now! 

*attempts to slap daddy again***

 


*Grabs baby by the wrist***

You really fucking want it? If that’s what you want then I’ll fucking give it to you you little fucking spoiled bitch!!!

*twists baby’s arm behind her back and grabs her by the throat***

 

Oh god daddy that’s it…choke your little fucking baby girl!

 


*tightens grip***

Remember what I said? Be careful what you wish for…I told you never to ask me for this but you just had to fucking have it…so how do you fucking like it now cunt???

*squeezes harder***

 


D…da…I…ca…bre…da…da…ugh..da…pl…st…yo…hu…ing…m…

 


What’s that bitch…I can’t fucking hear you…I bet you fucking love it now huh…you little goddamn whore!!!

*squeezes baby even harder***

 


…da… *choking sounds***

 


You always have to learn the hard way don’t you you little cunt! I bet you won’t ask again though, huh?!!!

*thrusts madly into baby’s fuck-hole…deep…hard…and without ANY regard***

 


*loses consciousness…fade to black***

4 years ago. May 10, 2020 at 12:40 PM

Everyone struggles with self acceptance; some of us more than others. The trick is to find the qualities in yourself that you are most confident about and build up from there. Self-confidence is the key to self-acceptance and confidence perpetuates itself. The more sure of yourself you become, the more others will be sure of you. The more others begin to rely on you the more you will be able to rely on yourself, and so on.

 


The most important thing is to remind yourself that you matter. The things in your head matter. The things that you do matter. Even if you dont know it you matter to someone else. Never let anyone make you feel inferior or unimportant. Talk to your friends or family about the things that matter to you. If any of you don’t have anyone to talk to feel free to blow up my inbox.

 


Folks we are human beings; imperfect individuals that need reassurance from time to time and this is absolutely nothing to be ashamed of or sorry for.

4 years ago. May 10, 2020 at 3:57 AM

Dancing around the rim of the infinite oblivion surrounding the deep and dark pools of your eyes, forever alone and drowning in the emptiness of my haunted and immortal soul; eternally falling into the bottomless abyss of your devouring hunger and unquenchable thirst. Like a cosmic singularity, your gravity takes hold of me and I surrender to your every deviant desire.

4 years ago. May 9, 2020 at 11:43 PM

Let me be clear. I am not looking for a submissive woman.

I am looking for a woman who identifies as submissive in nature.

Someone with an open heart and a starving mind; someone who needs guidance, direction and discipline; someone who desires to be intellectually challenged on a regular basis. I’m looking for someone with empathy and compassion. I’m looking for someone who is brave enough to always try no matter what she’s faced with.

What do I need? I need your surrender.

I need you to surrender to the things that are best for you. I need you to surrender to and accept the things that are beyond your control. I need you to surrender to my undying love and my unwavering support.

What do I want? I want all of you.

I want your every worrying thought, crippling insecurity and anxious desire. I want your every loving gaze and heartwarming smile. I want your every salty tear and troubling frown. I want every inch of your skin; every unique imperfection and beautiful blemish.

I want every extra 20 lbs, uneven cup size, scar, stretch mark, tiger stripe, pimple and grey hair.

I’m not looking for a specific D/s dynamic. We will evolve into whatever we are meant to evolve into.

I do have involvements with other women but this is not my quest for a threesome.

“East is East, West is West and never the Twain shall meet.”

You and I will be you and I. Nothing more, nothing less.

 

4 years ago. May 9, 2020 at 8:07 PM

If we suddenly found ourselves with everything that we’d ever wanted we’d be completely inundated with so much crap we wouldn’t even be able to breathe. The moment that we get exactly what we NEED everything else just falls into place.

 


Sometimes we DO need to go out and hustle. But a lot of times we just need to be patient.

 


Finding that balance is the key to living your best life.

4 years ago. May 9, 2020 at 2:23 PM

You arrive to the hotel at the specified time and check in at the front desk. You approach the desk clerk and introduce yourself to her. You tell her that I have left a message and a spare key for you. She nods knowingly and reaches under the counter and brings up a small, black case, a white envelope with your name written on it and a card key with the number 913 printed on the side. You walk to the elevator and press the button. A moment later the doors open and you step inside and press the button labeled "9." After a moment the doors close and you open the envelope then pull out the plain white stationary.

 


"Enter the room and place your cell phone and all of your jewelry in the box I have provided. Place the box inside the safe to the right as you enter. Remove all of your clothing and place it neatly in the top drawer of the chest. You will find a blind fold on the nightstand. Put it on and sit at the foot of the bed with your hands folded in your lap and wait quietly for my arrival."

 


You fold the note and put it back into the envelope just as the elevator reaches the 9th floor. The doors open and you step into the hall. The sign before you reads 901-910 to the left, 911-920 to the right. You turn to the right and walk to room 913. You pause in front of the door for a moment staring blankly at the brass plated numbers. You take a deep breath, hold it in a moment and then slowly exhale as you fumble with the card key.

 


As you slide the card into the slot the red light turns green and you hear a clicking sound letting you know the door is unlocked. You pull the handle downward and push open the door. The room is dimly lit by a small lamp on the nightstand but you are able to make out the king sized bed, a flat panel TV and a chest to the right of the entry way. There on top of the chest is a small, grey safe with an electronic key panel. The door on the safe is slightly ajar. You walk toward the safe clutching the black box tightly. It occurs to you that you don't know the safe combination and that once you place your possessions inside they will be locked away out of your reach until I decide to open it. You start to feel slight separation anxiety at the thought of placing your cell phone inside but you know the consequences if you don't comply so you empty your pockets, remove your rings, bracelet, and necklace, your car keys and lastly your smart phone and place them all carefully in the box. You then put the box inside of the safe and place your hand upon the door handle. You hesitate for a moment but then push the door closed until you hear it latch.

 


You turn and face the bed as your hands move to your collar finding the first button on your blouse. You slowly move downward unbuttoning each hole until the silky shirt hangs open revealing your lacy, black bra. You slide out of your shirt and fold it carefully and place it on the quilted bed. Next you find the zipper on your waist and unzip the tight fitting pencil skirt wrapped snugly around your curves. You give a slight wiggle as you free it from your womanly hips and slide it down your legs. You step out of it, fold it and place it on top of your blouse. You turn toward the mirror and pause to look at your reflection. Your eyes move carefully over your entire body, now only clothed in a matching black lace bra and thong panty and a sexy pair of black patented stiletto heals. Your caramel complexion is nicely contrasted by the elegant lingerie and you are momentarily pleased by your appearance.

 


You hear voices from the hall outside of the room and you immediately remember why you are hear and quickly begin to remove the remaining garments. You reach behind your back and unclasp the bra; the weight of your full breasts now free and only dropping slightly. You take it off and lay it over your skirt. Then you hook your fingers at the hip of your panties and slide them down and carefully step out of them. They then find their place next to your bra. Lastly, you step out of your heals and place them neatly at the foot of the bed.

 


You are now completely nude as per your instructions. All that remains is to place your clothing in the top drawer of the chest. You do this quickly and then take inventory by looking once more at my note and mentally checking off each instruction one by one.

 


"The blindfold!" you think to yourself.

 


You look to the nightstand and see a silky, strip of black cloth with ribbons attached to each side. You walk over, take the blindfold, place it over your eyes and then tie it behind your head using the delicate ribbons. You then feel your way to the foot of the bed, gently sit down upon it and fold your hands carefully in your lap.

 


You have no sense of time beyond waiting. You sit in silence patiently awaiting my arrival. The silence is a lie as your mind is screaming over and over at you to leave this situation. You've never experienced this level of anxiety in all your life but for some unknown reason; some forgotten willpower you didn't know existed; you remain seated and quiet. You somehow manage to regulate your breathing and try very hard to pretend that you are calm and collected. On the outside you are as still and as cool as a crystal statue. On the inside you are a raging inferno of molten hot anxiety. The fact that you have no way to gauge how much time has passed only adds fuel to that fire.

 


But still you wait.

 


You hadn't noticed before but now the torment in your mind has manifested a heightened sensitivity in your flesh and you are suddenly made very aware of your exposed state as the chill in the air causes goosebumps to appear on your otherwise flawless and smooth skin. You regret not adjusting the temperature before committing to your assignment and momentarily contemplate moving from your position to correct your mistake when suddenly you hear the unlatching of the door behind you.

 


Your breathing, which you had finally managed to regulate, has once again become shallow and irregular. You feel the knot beginning to form in the pit of your stomach and your anxiety transforms immediately into panic. You feel the heat from the tears welling up in your eyes and your face becomes flush with nervous fear. You want to cry out but you stop your sobs preemptively before even the slightest sound escapes your lips. You swallow the saliva in your mouth and you feel it moving painfully down your throat as if it were a large, unchewed piece of meat.

 


The door swings open with a slight breeze and then it is quickly shut with nothing more than the sound of the bolt springing into the jam. Afterward you hear the chain sliding into place and then the room returns to silence.

 


You haven't yet detected my presence beyond the logical association of the door opening and having the prior expectation of my arrival.

 


I remain silent.

 


I could describe to you what I'm doing in this moment but I've chosen to work in silence. For now I'm inspecting to see that you have followed each of my instructions to the letter. I begin to move around the room and I see your head, ever so slightly, tilt in my general direction. It's not enough to call out but it lets me know that the depravation of your sight has increased the sensitivity of your hearing exponentially.

 


This plays decadently and deliciously into what comes next.

4 years ago. May 9, 2020 at 11:19 AM

Fear and insecurities plague each and every one of us from time to time. Some people are able to overcome or manage those fears quite well while others can become completely crippled by them.

 


No one is immune to fear. It’s part of the human condition. It’s engrained in our instincts to be naturally afraid of certain things like pain for example. This is a healthy fear. Pain tells us that something is wrong. Being afraid of pain helps us to avoid harmful situations. This is a constructive use of fearful emotions.

 


We also have irrational fears. These are fears of things we have absolutely no control over. For example being afraid of death. That sounds like a legitimate fear doesn’t it? No one wants to die. Just the thought of it can make anyone uneasy. But do you have any control over when or how you die? No, not really. So fearing one’s own inevitable demise is an irrational fear that serves no real constructive purpose.

 


Irrational fear causes us to do strange things. Fearing loss can make us hold on too tightly. Fearing intimacy keeps us from connecting. Fearing commitment isolates us from others. In short irrational fear causes us to miss opportunities that lead to happiness and contentment.

 


I personally have dealt (and am still dealing) with the fear of loss. Specifically the fear of losing someone that I love. This can be caused by two things. Either it’s a trust issue or a lack confidence or possibly both. In my case it’s a confidence insecurity. I over analyze everything including my ability and worthiness in my relationship role. This causes me to overcompensate with inconsiderate, rash or impulsive actions that usually result in doing more harm than good. After a great deal of self reflection I’ve concluded that my feelings…my need…my love, no matter how strong, could never be enough to to keep anyone if that person does not want to stay. If my partner doesn’t wish to remain in a relationship then there is nothing I can say or do to keep her from leaving.

 


It’s irrational to think I have any control over the way someone feels about me. All I can do is show her my love and do everything I can to make her happy and have faith that when she says she loves me she means it.

 

Irrational fear keeps us from enjoying what we have. It holds us back from the things we want. It traps us into thinking that certain things aren’t available to us. It cripples and consumes us until we forget why we are here in the first place; to live and to love.

 


If fear is holding you back from something or making you go out of your way to avoid certain situations then talk to someone about it. If you don’t have anyone to talk to then feel free to hit me up. If I can’t help I’ll help you find someone who can.

 


Don’t let fear dictate the outcome of your life.

4 years ago. May 9, 2020 at 11:01 AM

No one is born a cynic. It takes a profane amount of unfairness to rattle someone to that point. A lot of times we don't even remember what it was that destroyed our optimistic outlook. But we've held on to cynicism for so long now it's like a security blanket that protects us from false hope. It's much easier to accept the pain when you’ve expected it all along. You can't even fathom what it's like to live like this unless you've been there so please stop telling us we’re being negative all the time. We have hope; just not as much as you do.

4 years ago. May 8, 2020 at 11:39 PM

It has come to the attention of the Inquisitor General that a number of rather absurd and unapproved titles have recently been published under the Earth-based writing/kink blog “Bacon, Idolatry and other such Sacrilege.” Furthermore, it has been suggested that the author of said works is a suspected planetary citizen of Jura Prime who are all well known throughout the quadrant as bold-faced liars. (Not to be confused with the italicized liars of Gorlax B.)

 

The High Court of Marexx 3 has issued a decree for the immediate confiscation and destruction of all written works, digital media and really terrible ideas that may have been purposely leaked by underpaid and under appreciated material reviewers within the Office of Censorship and Demoralization. Furthermore, if you have read any of the aforementioned material you are hereby required to report to your nearest mind processing station for immediate memory extraction. (Earthlings may substitute using a smart phone.)