As a Dominant, hell, as a human being, I find myself growing each day. My tastes change constantly as I discover new things that excite and intrigue me and leave behind other things that no longer hold my interest. I’m 42 now and I’ve considered myself a Dom for the last 19 years or so. In that time I’ve held several short lived relationships and arrangements with submissive women and even managed one long term committed relationship with someone I cared for very deeply.
What I’m getting at is that even though I’ve been doing this for a very, very long time I still find myself asking the same 2 questions that I’ve asked myself since I first took on the role of a Dominant…
1. Am I worthy?
2. Will this help or harm?
Being a Dominant doesn’t excuse you from being a responsible, compassionate, decent human being. In fact, it’s quite the opposite. Being Dominant is a lot like being a mentor. You are essentially shaping and guiding her through life. And you have to realize that there is often an underlying reason someone identifies as a submissive. As a Dom it’s your duty to probe her mind and challenge her as well as to satisfy her desires. In my experience if you handle this properly you will absolutely be the therapy she couldn’t otherwise receive.
I’m not going to say that every sub has issues. Sometimes a fish is just a fish. But you need to recognize when the fish is actually a whale and you need to approach each new relationship with an open mind and a fresh perspective. THERE IS NO SINGULAR APPROACH THAT FITS EVERY SUBMISSIVE.
I feel I need to repeat that last line.
THERE IS NO SINGULAR APPROACH THAT FITS EVERY SUBMISSIVE. It scares me to see how many Doms out there think that they can treat each and every submissive exactly the same. That’s ridiculous. Subs are people folks. They have lives. They work. They have families. They have issues that are unique to their individuality. If you can’t take the time to learn everything you can about the person who has put their trust in you then you don’t deserve to call yourself Dominant. D/s arrangements can’t work if one side is constantly giving while the other is continually taking.
I’m not speaking to the individuals that are here just for fun. I understand that phone sex and sexting doesn’t really require a great deal of involvement. We have needs. We’re only human. I’m talking to those of us that have chosen this lifestyle as a foundation for serious relationships.
It’s morally bankrupt to assume you can use and abuse someone without any repercussions. And if you think that’s what this is all about then it’s time to reconsider your own life
