When is punishment necessary and what purpose does it serve beyond sexual gratification?
I think this is the most asked question I get so I’m going to touch briefly on this subject.
In most D/s relationships there are established rules by which the submissive partner is subject to. They vary from relationship to relationship and depending on the Dom they may be very strict or a little loose.
As a Dom you need to be very specific with your sub on which rules are most important and which rules are flexible. A submissive needs to know the hard and soft boundaries that keep her on the path of obedience. Also, consistency is extremely important. You can’t punish her today for something she got away with yesterday.
I think punishment should match the infraction. Was this something that thoroughly pissed you off? Or was it a mild annoyance? Or is it simply a playful spat? Ask yourself these questions and form an adequate punishment that fits the crime. Also don’t underestimate the power of a firm warning. Sometimes being reminded of a previous punishment can be enough to get her back on track.
Another thing to consider is the emotional state of the sub. Was she acting out because of something going on in her life? Or maybe she is just trying to get your attention. These are things a good Dom needs to be on top of. If there is something wrong then punishment will only push her further away. Sometimes you’ll find that after a good conversation punishment isn’t at all necessary.
When all else fails you may need to drop character for a while and work out your issues as a couple. You need to know when to separate kink from real relationship situations.
