1. They are authentic, honest, and transparent. They answer any question you ask and share important information about their life, past or present...hiding nothing.
2. They know what they like and don’t like, continue to educate themselves on the subject, and have mentors or friends who are in the lifestyle.
3. You like each other even without the kink factor. It is so hard not to jump right into the BDSM part of the relationship, but a good Dom will wait for the two of you to get to know each other first.
4. Physical chemistry is not enough. You need to have the same goals, habits, needs… From family to job, you and your Dom must be in sync or be willing to adapt or adjust.
5. A good Dom has a plan. Your relationship is something that he has thought about. He knows where he wants to go and how to get there and he shares his thoughts with you. “We’ll figure it out as we go” is not acceptable, that means he doesn’t see you as a long term partner and doesn’t want to tell you or he hasn’t thought it important enough to even think about it. Either way, move on...he is not worth your time or energy.
6. They will know their strengths and weaknesses, take ownership of their feelings and issues. They will be emotionally mature, calling you on your BS and welcome you calling them on theirs. Most importantly, they are not easily angered or demanding perfection.
7. A good Dom is comfortable in their own skin but strives to grow in all areas, emotionally, socially, and spiritually. They learn from their mistakes and don’t try to put the blame on others or shrug it off.
8. They will be interested in you, how the two of you can explore and grow together, and how you make them a better person. A selfish Dom will only care about what you can do for them and want everything on their timeline.
9. They will be good at intuiting what you want and need, they understand you so well, that they know what you would most likely do in specific situations. How you feel affects how they feel. They will share these things with you.
10. They are confident but realize that their authority does not equal omnipotence and will own up to their failures.
11. A good Dom will guide the growth of the relationship, setting and pushing limits, and tearing down of barriers.
12. They will be patient, investing the necessary time and care needed for a deep relationship. They will take roadblocks in stride and find other ways to meet your relationship goals and objectives.
13. A good Dom will always tell you how much they appreciate you. They lift you up, not tear you down. They want you to become the best you can be, and will celebrate, advocate, admonish when needed..to get you there. You will honor that by showing your appreciation in turn, meeting their needs and fulfilling their desires.
14. They will become aware of your body as much as they are of their own. They can sense what you need, how much you need, and when you need it.
15. They have their priorities straight. They are financially stable, they take care of themselves from living space to personal health and hygiene.
Things to remember
- If you find someone like this, don’t let them go. They don’t come around often.
- Remember that those you find the most attractive will begin to look ugly to you when their character is ugly, and the one you thought just average will become beautiful to you as their inner beauty shines through. (even models in magazines are airbrushed.)
- A new Dom can be just as qualified as one who has more experience due to their natural talent and dedication to perfecting their craft. Age is just a number.
- If they aren’t willing to put in the time, you can bet your time with them will not be worth it.
