”Demisexuality is a sexual orientation where people only experience sexual attraction to folks that they have close emotional connections with. In other words, demisexual people only experience sexual attraction after an emotional bond has formed.“
This road into the world of BDSM has been an interesting one. One thing that baffles me both online and in person are the men, Doms, masters etc etc who are so sexually bold with there approach. Would you walk into a bar see a nice lady and be like “hey wanna fuck” just the first words that come out of your mouth? I highly doubt it. So why do you assume that’s acceptable in this life style? But those same men will be the first to scream BDSM isn’t all about sex.....
I Identify as a demisexual person if there is no emotional connection there can’t be a sexual one it’s just not going to happen. For most that’s a problem cool to each their own.
I don’t feel the need to express this every time I meet a new person but maybe I’ll have to because when I say “Hey I would just like to get to know each other” if in person they look at me like I have six heads if online they just completely ignore it and still proceed with there “request” like slow down what’s your favorite color? Ice cream flavor, do you like steak or chicken, cold or warm weather, does pineapple go on pizza (yes it does) things like that before we just dive in.
I feel like that’s important because it will be what carries a relationship sex is cool and all but it will eventually lose its stamina. I don’t want temporary gratification that could lead to long term and permanent mental and emotional turmoil.
I got a message after talking with this “gentlemen” that read “you want to be a submissive right here’s your chance” lol well okay let me just drop to my knees like what no. First off I don’t “want” to be anything I am Submissive. Just because I’m submissive doesn’t mean I want to have meaningless sex. I feel like SSC ( sane SAFE and consensual) needs to be extended to ones mental and emotional health and not just physical and sexual.
There are terrible books and movies (50 shades of toxically unrealistic) that feed to a narrative that having a sexual connection before having an Emotional one is okay and it is. However there are little to no movies that express having an emotional connection before having a sexual one is okay. Not everyone is wired the same.
No I don’t want to send you nudes, no I don’t want to tell you about my deepest fantasies (so you can read it and get off) no I won’t have sex with you no I won’t want to come over for a session. I’m not an aggressive or combative person in any sense of the word I’m literally the embodiment of a shy five year old. However I’ve had it I try so hard to be nice and respectful and try to redirect the sexually awkward conversation. Every time someone ask me something sexual I’m just going to respond with a vanilla question. Until they get the point.
If I happen to be so lucky and find what I’m looking for this summer. I want it to be real and have a chance to stand the test of time. I want the foundation that it’s built on to be a strong one and I’m sorry but a foundation built solely on sexual aspects isn’t strong enough to hold an entire house (relationship) up for long.
I know I’m different I always have been but I’m not crazy or unrealistic for wanting to know what your favorite movie is? Or what makes you laugh? What keeps you up at night? What helps you fall asleep? Wanting to know this vs wanting the size of your penis I’m a virgin what the hell would I even do with that information even if I wasn’t a virgin again what would I do with that information??
Dont call me beautiful and sexy and then immediately ask for a nude like seriously??? Porn is free get your smartphone get your lotion your towel and have fun! I want to get to know who you are as a person. I’m interested in BDSM but what drew me in was the trust between the two people the control a sub gives up for the freedom that it holds and how caring the Dom is in handling that control. If I wanted to have sex with no meaning behind it I live on a college campus with thousands if not hundreds of thousands of boys who are ready and probably willing.
I don’t need a Cinderella story but I’m not a one night let’s just have sex type of girl either and I’m over being sorry about it.
