House of Tanglewood Thoughts and Rants

I am Tara Tanglewood. I am a High Protocol Lifestyle Domme. I am a sadist. These are merely My own opinions.

Eye Rolling Blogs.......

4 years ago. September 2, 2020 at 7:10 PM

I see blogs where submissives are crying about their relationships with Doms and yet, when I provide some thoughtful well written advice, they fucking DELETE My comments on their blog.

ok then

That certainly says a lot about that particular sub-unwillingness to hear constructive criticism AND do something about it. Never someone I would potentially play with, as I can see an abuse accusation coming........no one needs that crap!

you need ppl to get sucked into your narrative about how you are being emotionally abused because a/b/c happened. you want folks to sympathize with your desperate plight.

The truth is an interesting thing. There is the story told from the submissive side (all woe is me) and the story from the Dom (which was never made public). The actual truth lies in the middle somewhere.

But if someone comments something that doesnt fit in with your story-delete!!!!!! Cause We cant have an actual lifestyle Domme who LOVES this life, make an assessment as an outsider looking in, and possibly judging you.

For the record-My comment was about being a better person. every single person is a unique individual. no one else like you out there!! Self love and self care are important no matter what side of the coin you identify. Gain knowledge about the things that interest you in this life. read. and then read some more. Ask questions, get a mentor, oh -did I mention READ!! google is a thing!! Back when I first started in this lifestyle, you couldnt get info on the computer. it was an odd network of interesting ppl or maybe a shady magazine that had personal ads. Use the tools you have available now!! There are no excuses!!

simplylaura(sub female){djinni} - A-freaking-men. Thank you!

4 years ago

Miinuh(sub female) - Again for those in the back! Bravo 👏

4 years ago

SweetSirRendering(sub female) - 👏🏼

4 years ago

rosethorn(sub female) - Something people dont often like to hear is that truth can be subjective. Objective is fact. Two people can see the same thing and interpret it differently, we seem to have forgotten this.
A while back an ex of mine was struggling and we had an incident with a knife where no one was hurt but he was very upset. One moment helping with dinner the next started to panic. Do i consider this an issue no... he was having flash backs and thought someone who attacked him was going for me. I could say all sorts and go well he did xyz if i interpreted it differently because it was concerning. Why would I do that to someone who had no intention of hurting anyone but could do with some help. He thought I was being attacked and tried to protect me, flash backs suck i know cos ive had them. From my perspective if i wasn't aware of how bad flash backs can be it would have looked very different from my point of view. And no i was never hurt neither was he cos it wasn't like that.
Now it could have gone very differently fortunately enough im a big girl and i know how to look after myself.

4 years ago

Tara Tanglewood(dom female) - the issue I had with this particular blog was that the female sub was actively looking for sympathy and attention because of her situation. When I threw that back into her lap for more self reflection on what had occurred, My comment was deleted along with several others. she only wanted to hear the ppl who immediately wanted to white knight her. I read further into her blog and discovered some issues that really needed to be worked on personally BEFORE venturing into lifestyle dynamics. BDSM is NOT a substitute for therapy.

4 years ago

rosethorn(sub female) - It really really isnt. Its something im seeing a lot of at the moment too. No one can help you if you can't help yourself and you can't help others unless you look after you first. The internet is an odd place sometimes.

4 years ago

simplylaura(sub female){djinni} - It's the life vest analogy, right? You can be working on yourself in a relationship, God knows I always am. No D/s, Master/slave, daddy/boy relationship is going to fix the things that you've been struggling with your whole life. Like you said, BDSM can be therapeutic, but it is not a replacement for therapy, and anyone who says otherwise is chock full of red flags. However, I am biased as I'm a licensed clinician with over 15 years real lifestyle experience. What do I know? Lol.

4 years ago

rosethorn(sub female) - See i think there is a line between therapeutic and therapy thats often blurred. For example seeing a hairdresser or going for a back massage can be theraputic but its not therapy. Having any joy fun or anything meaningful can be awesome but its not therapy. Also therapy does fix things either it doesn't magically make them disappear it helps you to move forward for things to become a bit lighter baggage wise so it doesn't drag you down. Its not a fix everything solution... sorry for the rant.

4 years ago

simplylaura(sub female){djinni} - Don't apologize- you have hit the nail right on the head!

4 years ago

djinni(dom female){smplylaura} - Ding ding ding!!! You hit the bell, my friend!

4 years ago

simplylaura(sub female){djinni} - Let's pretend that I am the bell, k?

4 years ago

rosethorn(sub female) - Thanks, its really frustrating so i can only imagine it from your perspective. Of course your the bell.... ding :)

4 years ago

djinni(dom female){smplylaura} - She just wants me to hit her! Lol

4 years ago

rosethorn(sub female) - Ding ding ... :P

4 years ago

djinni(dom female){smplylaura} - Amen!!

Did we just become best friends?? YUP!

4 years ago

Tara Tanglewood(dom female) - you two are adorable!!

4 years ago

rosethorn(sub female) - Awesome x

4 years ago

Bunnie - Well said.

4 years ago

LadySusweca(dom trans woman) - I know which one you are talking about and mine was deleted also. Someone asks for help, gets some valid answers, but they don't fit the martyrdom they wish to have so they get deleted.

4 years ago

Tara Tanglewood(dom female) - omg soooo much this. yes Lady Susweca-you got caught up in that deletion as well. I noticed. I put thought and effort into a well crafted message out of concern as did you and then a veritable fuck you to the both of us. lesson learned! I wont be doing that again soon!!

4 years ago

LadySusweca(dom trans woman) - I will probably be helpful again, but definitely not to her.

4 years ago

Tara Tanglewood(dom female) - I should have clarified that-I will always be a resource for this lifestyle-I just wont be sharing My wisdom with that one

4 years ago

TheChimera(sub female) - Now, before I say this. I'm going to be up front and say I have NO idea which which blog this all was in relation to (Nor do I overly want to.) And this is also my own opinion- so I could be completely back-ass-wards in this opinion.

One thing I've noticed as a trend with a lot of blogs where subs are "Woe is me" and their relationshit failed - is that a lot of subs act like a Dominant is going to fix their mental struggles, or emotional issues.
Like... A Dom(me) might bring a little structure into your life as a subbie, but A Dominant =/= Therapist. It's not fair to think that way, and I've watched Dominants take on some a submissive and get absolutely overwhelmed with her mental issues.

It floors me how often these codependent girl-children think a Dominant is going to fix everything. No, sweetieschmoopiecakes. It's not. ((And it's not just women, some male subs are just as bad.))

Like... If your life is a mess, YOU get up and fix it. Period. As a victim of years of emotional abuse. It was my decision in the end to drop my ex and cut him off from my life completely. It was my decision and my fight to step forwards and pick myself back up out of the dirt.
I was lucky to have my Dominant there to be SOME support- but in no way is he my therapist.

I'm sorry someone was foolish enough to delete your comment, that's their loss they shrugged off decent advice. Some people just like to stay in the hole, ya know?

4 years ago

LadySusweca(dom trans woman) - As a Domme, I have no problems handing a submissive a business card for a counselor, telling her she has 48 hours to call and schedule a appointment. If she does not like the one I suggest she can find her own, but she better make an appointment.

4 years ago

TheChimera(sub female) - Oh my goodness, yes. <3

4 years ago

rosethorn(sub female) - It is your responsibility to look after yourself not your Doms. (Controversial i know).
Im not currently in a relationship that doesn't mean i don't look after myself.
A Dom is a partner who can support and help you grow but it is not their responsibility. Doms are human not a guide for everything in your life. Yes its helpful to have someone to chat about ideas with but you are responsible for looking after yourself on your Doms behalf. Its sad i even feel the need to say this.
If you're not ready for a relationship then don't be in one, its okay to take time out.
My personal perspective, it takes two to tango, two to build something and two to break something too (not popular i know, just my point of view)

4 years ago

Tara Tanglewood(dom female) - all of the this. Because the better the person you can be, the better the sub you can be!

4 years ago

TheChimera(sub female) - Yes yes yes yes yesssss!~

4 years ago

UntitledHearts - This needed to be said. Like ten times over. Glad you have no problems saying it, Tara. Some people aren't able to be introspective because they don't know how. Perhaps it's because they've never thought to, or maybe it's because it's hard to look at yourself with your head firmly stuck in your ass...*shrugs*

4 years ago

TheChimera(sub female) - **Take on a new subbmissive and get completely overwhelmed. Wow, What is typing?

4 years ago

LadySusweca(dom trans woman) - We don't know either but are you a submissive or a subbmissive? 😛

4 years ago

TheChimera(sub female) - LOL! Subbmissive. The double B because I'm thicc.

4 years ago

LadySusweca(dom trans woman) - Bb for big butt?

4 years ago

TheChimera(sub female) - Something like that~ Lol I was leaning towards "Bad bitch" :smirk:

4 years ago

LadySusweca(dom trans woman) - I like to think that is me, but I end up being kind and respectful so ends up not working for me.

4 years ago

TheChimera(sub female) - You can still be respectful and still be a bad bitch~ >:3

4 years ago

My Dear{Trust} - Love this whole thread.

I have actually had someone attack me via response to one of my blog posts here. Why? Demn if I know. As far as I know I have had no interaction with him, his sub, or have done anything worthy of an attack on my character.

Point being - if I didn't delete that BS, odds are going I won't delete a comment someone made just because it holds a mirror up.

People should realize that erasing the things we like does not erase the reason those things are there. Instead, people should focus on reflection and introspection - then, if you don't think the suggestion holds merit, just be thankful that someone took the time to think of you and to offer input.

Otherwise... as I've said before, the gender opposite of an Asshat is an Assbonnet. :D

4 years ago

Tara Tanglewood(dom female) - I think asshat is pretty gender neutral as is twat waffle.........

4 years ago

TheChimera(sub female) - Oh I dunno, calling some big "tough guy" an "ass bonnet" would be pretty spectacular.
Especially if you make the "kiss kiss" face at him afterwards... >:3

4 years ago

LaVieEnRose(sub female){Kintsugi} - Everyone has their “woe is me moment,” Fuck I have them at least 20 times a day BUT BUT BUT I don’t expect to be coddled by those I share those feelings with cause some times a good kick up the virtual rear end is needed to snap you out of it. I think it’s unfair to expect a Dom /Domme to fix your problems as everyone has stated they’re only humans and can only do so much. They’re not counsellors or therapist (well some might be but you know what I mean) to be expected to swoop in an fix everything. They can guide you to things they think that might help you but you as the individual sub have to be willing to make those changes and willing to want to not just wallow in self pity. I mean we all need a good cry sometimes and the occasional wallow can feel good but to perpetually live in that state isn’t healthy.

If someone has taken the time to provide well thought out and earnest advise I think it’s a bit shitty to delete the comment. I know it can be jarring to be expected to look at yourself and do some self reflection but it’s necessary to be able to grow as a person and a sub.

4 years ago

Tara Tanglewood(dom female) - I always say Be Better. That goes for both sides of the coin. D and s types. self analysis as well as dynamics in a lifestyle are important!! The ability to accept constructive criticism isnt a skill that is taught. It can be difficult to hear and even harder to implement change. Thank you for your response 💖

4 years ago

Johnny slave sub(sub male){I'd most w} - Personally, I believe I'm a better me from having learned so much from the wisdom of various women and thus as previously stated...I am a much better sub. Within a relationship, I am better equipped to provide a Dom woman with greater daily happiness, which heightens my own. Those who turn off their minds to constructive criticism or advice...are on a selfish, self destructive path to never improving upon their own ways. For me, closing my mind to the advice of any woman, most especially a Dom woman is never an option. I cherish all I can and have learned from women. Ms. Chimera stated that the Woe is me attitude is found..not only from female subs, but male subs as well. That's a TRUTH.
No Dom can fix all of a subs problems, a sub must be willing to care about himself or herself as well. However, although there are 2 sides of a story. .the Doms story and the subs story. ..and the truth is often somewhere in between, as Ms. Tara rightfully said. ..I'd personally place more accuracy upon the story stated by the Dom. ..that is...if the dom's story hasn't been deleted. Oh....foolish deleter.

4 years ago

Ownerless916(sub male){Have been } - Here here! Well said, enjoying reading your posts, classy, honest, your balanced, wise, true to yourself, and warm. Thank you for being you, your an elder , which means you mastered what its about, a lot faster than most, I don't feel inferior communicating with you, that's important. Of course I'm aware that women are the superior sex, I spent the last 25 years or so unlearning everything I thought I knew about being a man, bye for now...

4 years ago

Johnny slave sub(sub male){I'd most w} - A real man can recognize the reality that as humans, we are all equal, but when it comes to our place and status within a relationship. ..we rightfully need to accept the supremacy of women and know our place beneath them. The real man will follow the greater wisdom of a woman who has come to know and fully believe in her true right to rule. A real man will most humbly obey and serve and adore the woman he comes to belong to. Not that she is perfect, because as humans, none of us are perfect. However, being Woman...she is much closer to perfection than males. We males need to treat a woman we belong to....as though she actually IS PERFECT.

4 years ago

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Tara Tanglewood​(dom female)

House of Tanglewood Thoughts and Rants

Eye Rolling Blogs.......

Tara Tanglewood(dom female)