So last night I called the nurse to find out if I should go to the er or wait it out and call a doctor. . .
I gave her my info and she told my insurance is not Actived. So now I think I have to wait until February 1st for it to activate.
I feel meh. Going to bed.
I’m sitting here now in pain and lonely. (I’m trying to enjoy my time in a word pad but my pain is killing me. However I cannot sleep.)
I have pain my abs, pelvic area, up the lower back, down the thighs, and my head. Waist down I feel pressure as if everything is twisting and pulling down. I get pain on my left side of my an, sharp when I cough and laugh.
Its very hard to focus on anything. I cannot repeat thing if people speak to me, its frustrating.
My stomach hurts; between the nausea, craps, pain, and horrible indigestion, it is hard to fall asleep comfortably. I would get indigestion and nausea usually at night between 1am to 6am.
The bloating sucks. I swear my ass feels heavier and looks bigger.
My sleep schedule is off. I sleep for several hours, and I’m barely up an hour or two and I’m exhausted again.
I’m sad, frustrated, and scared. I believe this caused mostly by endometriosis.
I think I am going to the hospital.
Words I want to hear from my submissive boyfriend in poetic form
Yes Mistress
Please Mistress
What can I do for you Mistress
Let me rub your feet Mistress
Thank you Mistress
I need you Mistress
I want you Mistress
I love you Mistress
I am yours, Mistress
Let me take care of you Mistress
I’m kneeling for you, Mistress
I am nothing without you, Mistress
Yes Mistress
Please Mistress
What can I do for you Mistress
Let me rub your feet Mistress
Thank you Mistress
Let me drive you, Mistress
Take my money Mistress
Budget for me Mistress
Pay my bills, Mistress
Whatever you feel is my allowance, thank you Mistress
Yes Mistress
Please Mistress
What can I do for you Mistress
Let me rub your feet Mistress
Thank you Mistress
I will exercise, Mistress
I will eat what you make Mistress
I will cook when you ask Mistress
I will eat that salad as it is good for me Mistress
How do you want your coffee Mistress.
Yes Mistress
Please Mistress
What can I do for you Mistress
Let me rub your feet Mistress
Thank you Mistress
May I pleasure you, my sexy Mistress?
Do you want toys, Mistress?
May I please cum, Mistress?
May I please release, my sexy goddess?
I always think of your sexy curves, Mistress.
Please let me lick your pussy, beautiful Mistress!
Your curves, your round booty and breast make me ache for you, Mistress.
Please peg your gorgeous goddess.
Yes Mistress
Please Mistress
What can I do for you Mistress
Let me rub your feet Mistress
Thank you Mistress
I think its stupid that someone would block me because I’m sick. If they couldn’t understand that I had a fever and chills, then they will never understand my bigger medical problems.
I have endometrisos which causes lots of pain it feels like I’m a tube of toothpaste being squeezed in the middle. I get cramps so bad it goes up the back and down the legs. My mom has to talk me down as if im in labor pains. random pain including Pain during or after sex. This also causes anemia: side effects are exhaustion, dizziness, and chills. It also makes me very moody, I mean extreme mood swings.
I have diabetes and stomach issues so food has been giving me problems especially at night.
I also get depression, become anxious, and I have had to deal PTSD (from the death of my ex.)
I’ve told people that they can’t handle my health. I’ve seen people not believe me and freak out when I'm sick.
I mean I'm not going to apologize for being in pain that can't control when I snap at you because you're horny.
Warning: very gross material for some. . .
Why have the last ten really good looking betas who have messaged me want to be human toilets?
Yes, need some attraction in my partner, but the desire to injest human waste turns me off.
Large amounts of piss is gross. I understand sometimes it leaks, but even the smell of piss, especially early morning piss turns my stomach.
Shit is instantly on my hard limits list. Do you know how much bacteria is in human waste? It can make you extremely sick.
Why won't people listen to me?
What the hell?
I'm a dominant, damnit!
No Skype. No Kik. No snap chats. No hang outs. No cam.
I do not have the strong enough WiFi and privacy to do can on cam. I will exchange pics when I can. But I do not live alone.
No cam does not mean oh wait let me kick family outside and freeze so I can cam with you while you tease the fuck out of me while I give you a fake moan because I do not masturbate.
When I say no, it means no.
If I am not into you, as a sub you do not tell me no. You say I appreciate your time, best luck on your search.
Whether you are male, female, or trans . . . if you are my sub. .
The wetter you will me make me. I could be sdo wet I could have my sub drown their tongue in my pussy licking it all up.
I love sucking cocks or licking the sweetness out of a pussy. I miss the fore play.
Back to your rants now.
Why don't people listen to me when I say they can't handle me?
I have depression and anxiety, and there are times I cannot deal with life. I need to go into my Sim games, my art, my walking, or most of my fictional writing. It is a process for me to come back to me. I'm usually a very positive, perky person, but over the years, life has worn me down.
I need positive people. I need someone who will encourage me, to keep my spirits up.
I do not need someone who complains about everything in life. I do not need someone so toxic that even the sun shine is bitch. I met someone like this. . . and tried to be friends. He never ask me about me, just complained about everything from work to his place to food. I couldn't take it, and said whatever. (That was my depression talking, but I realize I couldn't help him, and he was pulling me down. I had to save myself.)
I did feel bad he had no friends, but now I know why.
He was one who gave me the sex block.
Can men and women be friends?
I'm frustrated that I knew he couldn't handle the truth. I'm not upset that I knew I was right, that he said he was hurt when I said I wanted to see other people. He said he understood but that was a freaking lie.
He just wanted to be friends over a month ago. . . so its his own fault.
Now he is making me feel bad and guilty for wanting a relationship with foreplay and sex. What is really wrong with that?