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Posts by TopekaDom(dom male){✶}

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Questions for seasoned bdsm users

Seasoned BDSM Users?

Mainly....

Don't overdo on the Cayenne pepper.

Thu Apr 09, 2026 12:26 am • 8 Replies • 1520 Views

Author

TopekaDom

Forum

Absolute Beginners

Topic

Questions for seasoned bdsm users

5 Questions

1)

A: Informed Consent
B: Honesty
C:Being Honorable

2: Punishment is always emotional, never physical. My most common is telling them "I am disappointed in you".
2a: "Funishment" is an absu ...

Tue Apr 07, 2026 3:28 am • 8 Replies • 1565 Views

Author

TopekaDom

Forum

Lifestyle BDSM

Topic

5 Questions

Who Pays: Sex Toys

Toys can be expensive. I would not expect someone to buy me one, but I also am not very financially well-off, so I can't buy them on-demand. I have to budget for them. I would say if it is of utmost u ...

Mon Apr 06, 2026 1:39 pm • 14 Replies • 2079 Views

Author

TopekaDom

Forum

Lifestyle BDSM

Topic

Who Pays: Sex Toys

(Didn't really plan on a whole series of "Who Pays" but since the first one worked out so well, I thought I would try another)

Over time, I have come across the problem of who buys the sex toys fo ...

Sat Mar 28, 2026 7:06 pm • 14 Replies • 2079 Views

Author

TopekaDom

Forum

Lifestyle BDSM

Topic

Who Pays: Sex Toys

Training? Idk?

"Training" is probably the most misused term within the lifestyle.

Not all those on the inside of the collar need it. And, there are more variations of training than anyone cares to admit, no ...

Thu Mar 26, 2026 1:49 pm • 6 Replies • 1254 Views

Author

TopekaDom

Forum

Generally Speaking

Topic

Training? Idk?

So Who Pays: First Meets

(I wish this place had a Lifestyle Philosophy section, but I digress)

So being the Old School Bastard that I am, I got to thinking about how a first time, face to face, meet would go. Now yes, a ...

Wed Mar 25, 2026 2:23 am • 16 Replies • 2506 Views

Author

TopekaDom

Forum

Lifestyle BDSM

Topic

So Who Pays: First Meets

The economics of interaction.

This is an age old question to me.

Back in the day, on a whole other lifestyle website that no longer exists, someone asked how personal economics affected if one was a Dom/me or not. Thei ...

Thu Mar 19, 2026 3:10 pm • 4 Replies • 699 Views

Author

TopekaDom

Forum

Generally Speaking

Topic

The economics of interaction.

Exhibitionism

The main thing is not to involve others in your kink without consent.

Specially the vanillas.

That being said, there are numinous levels of Exhibitionism. Some see it as degrading: such as bei ...

Tue Mar 17, 2026 3:39 pm • 10 Replies • 1656 Views

Author

TopekaDom

Forum

Fetish

Topic

Exhibitionism

Outfit control

Yeah, that is commonly known as micromanagement. It is ok for some, but I find it boring as shit. While I have provided some guidelines, I don't make small decision like that. Part of trai ...

Sat Mar 14, 2026 4:49 pm • 12 Replies • 4075 Views

Author

TopekaDom

Forum

Fetish

Topic

Outfit control

✨ If BDSM were a holiday… what would it look like?

A nation wide Folsum Street fair?

Sun Mar 08, 2026 5:36 pm • 8 Replies • 1334 Views

Author

TopekaDom

Forum

Lifestyle BDSM

Topic

✨ If BDSM were a holiday… what would it look like?