The end

Think of an interest of yours that you didn't get to explore during the relationship. Maybe you wanted to learn to play music but never found time in between arguing with your partner. Maybe you love ...

Tue Nov 17, 2020 7:26 pm • 22 Replies • 6620 Views

Basic Question on how to be a better DOM

Since you're wanting to start from understanding the psychology of the role, and since you give high priority to communication, I think my book "The Heart of Dominance" would be a good fit for you.
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Fri Nov 06, 2020 7:44 pm • 5 Replies • 2458 Views

Age-Gaps - Attracting Interest in Older Men - Not Reciprocated

This isn't unique to age-gaps. There's a large number of men who simply do not respect what women want. If *they* want *you,* that's all they care about, and nothing you could say in your profile woul ...

Fri Nov 06, 2020 7:35 pm • 25 Replies • 8364 Views

BDSM career?

I write and teach about D/s, and I love it. It gives me an excuse to spend more time and attention on what I'm passionate about, to meet more kinky people and make more friends.

I also know a few f ...

Wed Nov 04, 2020 11:35 pm • 5 Replies • 3308 Views

Re: Thoughts on BDSM Bars

Did they have a resident top who would flog and spank random drunk people on request? I thought they had a monitor who ensured safe consensual play amongst those who wanted to use the space.

There ...

Fri Oct 30, 2020 7:16 pm • 25 Replies • 6716 Views

Thoughts on BDSM Bars

You just described Bondage-a-Go-Go, which ran every Wednesday night in San Francisco for twenty-seven years until Covid 19 shut it down along with everything else. It worked just fine. No major issues ...

Fri Oct 30, 2020 5:32 pm • 25 Replies • 6716 Views

Abuse, where is the line?

Folks who bottom to breath play risk death. We know this, and we say "well, they know the risks." Rope bondage can cause permanent nerve damage. Knife play or fire play can scar you for life. Bottoms ...

Thu Oct 29, 2020 10:05 pm • 27 Replies • 6786 Views

Confused. S/M

It might be helpful to think of masochism as an activity, not as a kind of person.

It's like running (which can be pretty masochistic, tbh). People run for lots of different reasons. Some like the ...

Mon Oct 26, 2020 5:01 am • 16 Replies • 5175 Views

Confused. S/M

Some books that I think are excellent:

Sensuous Magic, by Pat Califia
Screw the Roses, Give Me the Thorns, by Phillip Miller and Molly Devon
The New Bottoming Book, by Janet Hardy & Dossie Ea ...

Mon Oct 26, 2020 4:46 am • 16 Replies • 5175 Views

Confused. S/M

Getting wet from pain and asking for more would certainly fit most people's understanding of masochism.

What would it mean to you to think of yourself as a masochist?

Mon Oct 26, 2020 3:42 am • 16 Replies • 5175 Views