Dominant Men vs Dominant Women -why are the rules different?

Dominant Men vs Dominant Women -why are the rules different?

DesireDomination​(sub male) • Sep 4, 2019

Fellow Kinksters I have a question : Why is a male submissive expected, encouraged or required to tribute the female Dominant when a Male Dominant is often sought out by submissive women for support and sex? I have a great respect for women but please refrain from saying I’m being sexist as I assure you I am not. It’s a difference I have noticed from day one. On a few occasions I will read a dominant woman’s profile who refuses such tributes but it is not often that I hear a dominant woman communicate that she will take care of her submissive. A male dominant will at times communicate his willingness to care for his submissive in all areas.

SchrodingersDinosaur​(switch female){N/a} • Sep 4, 2019

Going to go out on a limb, dear, but you obviously aren't talking to all of us. And while I'm Domme-lite, without exception the full on Dommes I'm friendly with are blatantly NOT interested in 'tribute' or pay for play. There are woman quite interested in FLR, meaning they want to control a subbie's life including financials but I do not see much difference with the male Dominants in that respect. As to wanting a kept partner I suspect there are a similar percentage of real Lifestyle Dommes interested in such as Doms, there are truthfully fewer of us in total.

I don't doubt that your experience is real, but suspect that if you are getting immediate offers of Domination of any sort, paid or not you are most likely getting either scammers or the same silly insta-types new ladies get hammered by too. We tell female subs that the 'dom' who shows up in their inbox with an immediate offer of being their new daddy, dom, master, whatever, is either new and has no idea or is running game. I'll say the same to you.

DesireDomination​(sub male) • Sep 4, 2019

Thank you for your reply and I am running into a large number of scammers. It has been extremely frustrating. I know that attending Munches is probably the best Way to go but they can be difficlit to attend.

SchrodingersDinosaur​(switch female){N/a} • Sep 4, 2019

There are probably fewer scammers/ game players in the real scene, but you need to cautious there too. Pretty much anyone who immediately offers anything without getting to know you first is much more likely to not be the person you want to give yourself to. I know it's hard to exercise patience when you are coming in and excited about this interesting and fun world, but it's necessary. There are good, real, caring people in this world who want honest connection, they just like the kinky bits too. But there are fakes, newbies, scammers, or just plain assholes. Good luck in your search.

MissBonnie​(dom female){oz} • Sep 4, 2019

As a Domme Female, I'll second what SchrodingersDinosaur​(switch female) said. There is huge difference between Dommes and those with hidden intentions of raping your wallet in any way possible.

and also add.... REPORT SCAMMERS/FINDOM/PAY FOR PLAY PLEASE. Covert Solicitation on this site is not allowed. The staff here wonderful at clearing out the bad elements but they are human and cannot be everywhere when real intentions are often hidden. This is a community and we also need to police our own. Change wont happen unless we all work at it. If ALL the sub men receiving these types of requests (for any form of payment/purchase) did something maybe, just maybe the real Dommes out there will be easier to find or at the very least you male submissives will at least be able to swim in safer waters rather than having to worry every female is a shark.
Unfortunately the age old adage "sex sells" works when it comes to Femdom because Female Domme are low in numbers, those seeking to make a profit will always be rife. There is a place for "play for play" but it does need to be transparent and you should be able to seek it out..but not have it thrust in your face just because you are looking for a partner.

Hang in there DesireDomination​, there are (dare I say it without my dragon skin suit) "real" Dominant women out there that don't care about your wallet and are more interested in your mind, body and soul.

DesireDomination​(sub male) • Sep 4, 2019

Miss Bonnie: I appreciate your feedback and knowledge concerning the subject. I know that in my experience there might be one in twenty online that are genuine. Unfortunately, in my experience it is probably even more outlandish. I have been speaking with a rather nice Dom that I met on this site. As it usually is we are looking at a rather long commute. A self driving Tesla would be nice. It would actually be nice for several reasons. I digress. Lol. Anyway-thank you fit your reply.

dollMaker​(dom male) • Sep 5, 2019

Any you find on this site report them, send screen shots of the tribute, money demands to the site admin, Cage Monkey or Villanelle.

I think this aspect of the kink world stinks, it stinks to high heaven. Many of these dommes are no such thing, they know nothing of dominance, they are parasites who have opted to earn money by preying on desperate subs, who in some cases allow that desperation to get a domme, to be owned, to rob them of common sense. Now I have no issue with ethical pro dommes, but these people who opt to find themselves cash cows to exploit are not ethical, not professional, not kinksters and are a blight on the kink world.

DesireDomination​(sub male) • Sep 5, 2019

Dollmaker, thank you for the reply and reading the replies does provide a little hope. I will send what info I uncover to “the keepers of the kink” so they may banish them back to the world of Vanilla.

Villanelle​(staff) • Sep 5, 2019

Thank you to everyone who took the time to thoughtfully answer this question. I'll second pretty much all of the advice given and also state that as a female dominant, "working random subs for cash" has never been part of my dynamic or those of my female dominant friends. It's simply a bunch of scammers that have found a vulnerable area to exploit. We have great tools in place to keep these types out but we also need our community to help by self moderating. Screenshot the behaviour and file a report by visiting the user's profile and clicking on the "report" button. It's confidential and no one but staff will be alerted. By doing so, you'll be helping to protect other members of our community. It's a great way to give back and help keep THE CAGE a positive and welcoming place to be. If you're not sure or need help, it's always good to ask. As you can see, you'll find a lot of support and good advice here.

Oh I want to add one other thing - male dominants have been reported for this type of behaviour as well. And you shouldn't assume that every impossibly beautiful femdom who wants an amazon gift card is a woman behind the keyboard

Good luck in your search!

Hermusician55​(sub male) • Sep 10, 2019

Thank you for this post I already had 5 dommes message me that have the same kind of profile with a different photo, which they probably stole from a pro domme or model. They always message you with there email and that always leads up for them asking for a iTunes gift card and such which is a red flag. I just wanted to give you a heads up since I know that you get most of em but sometimes a few slip through which I’ll do my best to help and report. Thanks again for mentioning this subject it’s so easy for people to fall for them