I can’t believe it’s not butter

I can’t believe it’s not butter

Bunnie • Oct 17, 2017

It’s spoken about constantly... fakes. Fake profiles, fake Dom/mes, fake subs. Fake profiles seem to be pretty self explanatory... information doesn’t add up or make sense. But what about fake Dom/mes or subs? After asking a friend recently what a fake actually entailed, it got me to thinking. What does fake mean to you? And... What do you look out for in either a Dom/me or sub that would indicate that they’re fake?

Villanelle​(staff) • Oct 17, 2017

As an admin here at THE CAGE I use "fake" to describe those who are disingenuous about their intentions here, meaning that they present as looking for a D/s relationship but their real intention is to make money (see all my other posts here and on Twitter and our announcement about going subscription in response to our frustrations keeping these trolls out). That aside I often see the word fake applied to someone whose idea of D/s doesn't align with someone else's. There are no hard and fast rules to D/s, just what you and your partner negotiate (issues of consent and legalities aside). It's sort of like saying there is a right way to fuck. The only right way is the one that works for you and yours.

TheEdge​(other male) • Oct 17, 2017

I have been getting bombarded with messages from fakes “or usually starts with” hello sub.are you ready to serve and kiss my feet and do what you are told ?”
That’s so easy to figure out that they are looking for money or they have worse intentions.
What you need to worry about are the people who become your friends and stab you in the back when you start to trust them. To me it’s kind of simple after years and years of getting tricked and faked. I know that if they are serious about the lifestyle they are going to be as anal as I am or even worse

Starlight82​(other female) • Oct 21, 2017

Now you know me Bunnie I have not been in this for very long at all! So I do not claim to know much lol. But what I have started for myself is a series of questions and statements that help me sort out the genuine people. Granted it may not work all the time and the list seems to grow constantly. But like Pey said, first if they approach me asking how much I like to submit, do I want to be their slave or worse instantly they get dismissed. Then if they are unable to hold a conversation or answer my basic questions to get to know them, they are dismissed. Once I tell them I am in no hurray and I need time a lot disappear by themselves. I find this seems to sort out the fakes or picture hunters. Like i said this is not a fail safe but its a start that you'd be surprised how many fail. Lastly if their profile is empty I do not even reply.

Ragnhildbrat​(sub female) • Nov 4, 2017

Well fake for me is when you use a name and then ask question about the same type of play you are into. A fake dom per say would come in to chat and expect all subs to do exactly what they want Or would come into lobby and start drama just to start drama With anyone. These are public warranting sign of a fake dom. Private sign of a fake dom is a dom that message you and want your submission right off the bat doesn't even know your real name or email or anything about you. If you don't feel comfortable or safe giving out your name email phone number then it's probably is safe to say NOT THE DOM FOR YOU. Keep in mind you shouldn't just give this information out to anyone either be safe. Stay kinky and practices safe sex

PapaWolf DaddyDom​(dom male) • Nov 4, 2017

I am first going to say to the subs that have responded I agree with all you have said your gift to the Dom/Domme ex. is something that should be treasured and cared for But there is always 2 side of a coin how about the Dom's dealing with fakes and pretender subs the once who start by saying all right right things and then they do something wrong and should be punished and they will not do it and then try and tell the Dom they don't know how to be a Dom or that they are not a good Dom I truly thing fakers and pretenders are both sides but if we are a care community life style who what out for people we call friends and family this should restrict this problem some it will never clear everything up but we show work as a united Life style last night some where making fun of a new Dom and I did not agree and said something about it he was up front and said he was new and a couple of you teased him and made fun of his newbie side For Shame I am happy you did help him some in the end but I am rambling and I thank you for read my horrible typing

JustAGirlLiveLaugh​(sub female){Me} • Jan 4, 2018

Well said

Fudbar​(dom male){❤️❤️❤️} • Jan 4, 2018

No true Scotsman is a kind of informal fallacy in which one attempts to protect a universal generalization from counterexamples by changing the definition in an ad hoc fashion to exclude the counterexample. Rather than denying the counterexample or rejecting the original claim, this fallacy modifies the subject of the assertion to exclude the specific case or others like it by rhetoric, without reference to any specific objective rule ("no true Scotsman would do such a thing"; i.e., those who perform that action are not part of our group and thus criticism of that action is not criticism of the group).

Miki • Jan 4, 2018

"All The Above" except I don't apply labels to people. Everyone comes into here with differing expectations. So while I never ran into anyone who seemed as though they were looking to make cash off of me, there have been a fair number of "aggressive" doms. Could just be they are unaware there are hard and fast rules to the game.

I suppose there are a few in here who think I fall outside the Officially Sanctioned Definition of a Sub. -- whatever the hell that is-- and by whatever authority they feel they have to "make it so". Anyway-- so be it.

"Call me whatever you like, but you still won't be calling me on the phone any time soon".

I put on my profile what I like, what's out-of-the-question AND that no one ought hold their breath waiting to see me at their door in nothing but a long coat. I'm in here because it is a rare place where our kind of behavior is not judged because we're all birds of a feather.. Things not readily received out in the vanilla world.

Actually, come to think of it, we all participate in "the vanilla world" to make our bread and butter, so in a manner of speaking, by keeping our proclivities to ourselves are we all not just a bit "fake" to the world?

Hawkeye • Mar 14, 2018

Would just like to add that this is good advice to follow no matter which side of the slash you fall upon